Etiquette School is in session! > "Have you tried the bean dip?"

Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip

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kansha:
how about "why do you want to know?" ?

jazzbeat:

--- Quote from: kansha on November 19, 2011, 07:40:55 PM ---how about "why do you want to know?" ?

--- End quote ---

The answer is almost always, "I'm just curious."  If I reply, "I see," you'd think that would end it, but it doesn't, and the person says, "So, you must be sensitive about the issue," or "So........" or something else that seems to put the onus on me.  I'm lousy at offering bean dip.

Iris:
Sometimes I adopt the really really vacant aka toddler approach. The trick is to keep an open, pleasant and slightly absent countenance at all times and just keep on turning it back on the person.

"How old are you"
"I'm over 21 if you are going to offer me a glass of wine"
"No, seriously, how old are you?"
"Why would you want to know that"
"I'm curious"
"I see"
"So - how old are you? You must be sensitive about your age"
"Not at all. Why would you think that?"
"Well you won't tell me!"
"Mmm-hmmm. Are you always this interested in people's ages?"

If you do it right it makes people stabby but conflicted because you're being SO pleasant. It's quite fun to watch  >:D Of course I only use this approach for the terminally, annoyingly nosy.

wonderfullyanonymous:
"How old are you"
"I'm over 21 if you are going to offer me a glass of wine"
"No, seriously, how old are you?"
"Why would you want to know that"
"I'm curious"
"I see"
"So - how old are you? You must be sensitive about your age."
"How much do you weigh?"
"Well that's rude, why do you want to know that?"
"Well you must be sensitive about your weight?"
"Well, I'm not telling you that."
"Thank you." walk away

jmarvellous:
Isn't the answer to "You must be sensitive about your age?" "Yes"? Either "Yes, thanks for understanding" or "Yes, so let's move on."

I mean, it might be a different take on the word sensitive, but that's exactly how I'd describe this attitude toward such an innocuous question, unless I'm missing something (and I might well be) -- either sensitive to having people know your age or sensitive to sharing something you view (but obviously not everyone views) as private.

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