Author Topic: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip  (Read 17768 times)

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whiskeytangofoxtrot

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2011, 01:35:30 PM »
"Old enough to know better; young enough to do it anyway. The rest is just scorekeeping!"

Ruelz

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #16 on: November 21, 2011, 01:42:00 PM »
My mother will tell her real age and birthdate to anyone who asks............on her birthday............which is April 1 (April Fools' Day, for those NOT from the USA or other countries with the same tradition).

For some reason, no one believes her on April Fools' Day............or remembers it a few weeks or months later.

My daughter was born on April's Fool Day too...
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #17 on: November 21, 2011, 01:57:07 PM »
A friend of mine would ask back, 'How old do you think I am?'  If they responded with a number less than her age, she would say, 'OK'.  And most of the time, especially guys, would guess lower.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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jazzbeat

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2011, 01:18:38 AM »
First, thank you for all the replies.

The question is extremely nosy and far from innocuous--no one has any business asking or knowing someone else's age unless the other person chooses to share it.

Thank you, and I think that's at the root of the problem.  We're all curious about things that are none of our business (Is that her real hair?).  However, we're becoming so casual sometimes that we forget that some questions really are rude.  Another problem is that we tend to forget that others may not feel as comfortable as we do answering private questions.  (If I don't mind telling others, why should anyone else mind?)

aiki

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #19 on: November 23, 2011, 09:33:44 PM »
What do I say to someone who ignores all communication that I simply don't want to answer the question?  I'm often made to feel like I'm hiding something if I don't reply with a direct answer.  I become so embarrassed and frustrated that I fail to produce any intelligent response.

"That's an oddly personal question. Why do you ask?"
"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude."  - Oscar Wilde

magician5

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #20 on: November 26, 2011, 08:12:04 AM »
"I was one hundred and three last week. But people tell me I look young for my age."
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

Steve

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #21 on: November 26, 2011, 11:42:52 AM »
How about:

"How old are you"
"I'm over 21 if you are going to offer me a glass of wine"
"No, seriously, how old are you?"
"Why would you want to know that"
"I'm curious"
"I see"
"So - how old are you? You must be sensitive about your age."
"That's an interesting assumption"




AfleetAlex

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #22 on: December 22, 2011, 03:55:58 PM »
I give a friendly/sly smile and say in a gently teasing tone, "Now, now, you're never supposed to ask a lady her age," and then chuckle, and usually that ends the conversation (they usually chuckle with me). This response goes with my usual good-sense-of-humor tone, so it comes across as more friendly banter than rebuke - but it works.
I have a chronic case of foot-in-mouth disease.

mabelle

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #23 on: December 22, 2011, 04:28:59 PM »
My husband always answers with an outrageous lie - he's 45 and he'll say "65 - don't I look great for my age?" or "17, but I've got that rapid aging thing in my genes." not etiquette, but always good for a laugh.

Fleur-de-Lis

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #24 on: December 22, 2011, 04:35:45 PM »
One time I just said, "It doesn't matter," only to be told that I must be very sensitive about my age or must be going through "the change."  At that point, I can never say anything that won't get me in a lot of trouble.

Social bullies is really what those people are, and my problem is that, due to professional reasons, I really can't afford to offend them.


Bolding mine.

What *can* you do about someone who would actually make pronouncements such as the bolded? That person is an HR nightmare waiting to happen and should be deemed devoid of all credibility and importance, starting with you. 
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WillyNilly

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #25 on: December 22, 2011, 06:45:19 PM »
A friend of mine would ask back, 'How old do you think I am?'  If they responded with a number less than her age, she would say, 'OK'.  And most of the time, especially guys, would guess lower.

This what I usualy do. I have them guess and then say "yup". In my life only one person ever guessed older, so generally I feel its an honest enough answer, after all my actual age includes the number they guessed.

Once in while I will answer intrusive questions with "yes". This generaly confuses the person asking enough to drop it:

How old are you?
Yes
No, I asked how old you are
Yes I know
So are you going to tell me?
I answered you
But you didn't say your age you only said "yes"
Right.

Trust me they walk away 99% of the time after that.









Bast

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #26 on: December 28, 2011, 05:07:21 PM »
"Only my doctor knows, and s/he hasn't told me recently." smile, and ask them a question.

And there is also my own personal favorite: "physically, mentally or emotionally, because they're all different!"

With kids, though, I will either tell them, or say that I am older than X, where X is something that they are interested in, like trains, dinosaurs, a video game...
"They may forget your name but they will never forget how you made them feel." ~Maya Angelou

Nemesis

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #27 on: December 29, 2011, 10:55:12 PM »
Q: "How old are you?"
A: (Said with a smile and humour) "Old enough to know not to ask a lady her age"

It's never failed me so far.

wheeitsme

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #28 on: December 30, 2011, 12:08:10 PM »
"I'm not sensitive about my age.  I'm sensitive about people asking my age."

Ginderette

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Re: Dealing with people who have allergies to bean dip
« Reply #29 on: February 02, 2012, 05:25:14 AM »
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot and Bast your answers made me laugh and reminded me of a good quote:

"Ah but I was so much older then; I'm younger than that now."
 - Bob Dylan

Indeed, it's silly to fret about how long one's lived  - I don't understand why some people think it's so crucial to keep in step with the tick-tock of Time. It's not about the length but what's done that's important! I wonder if these folks would be the ones that would go on a journey and only fret about getting to the destination and be blind to wondrous sights along the way. ;)
"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." ~ Mark Twain