I just know this is going to stir everyone up... but...Um, excuse me but wasn't the question "children - how much noise is too much?"
If a family with small children lives in an apartment, with neighbours above, below and beside them, should there be any limits on how much noise they can make and when? Should they be allowed to make more noise than other tenants because they have children?
Is having kids a free pass to make all the noise you want?
Or if there should be limits, what should they be?
The details of the question are about what sort of noise is reasonable to live with in an apartment situation. No one said, "no noise is acceptable" or "your (generic your) children must stay silent".
My answers to the OP are:
Yes there should be limits, the same limits as for everyone else in the complex. In other words, neighbours with children do not get to make more noise. Children are not a 'get out of jail free' card.
Like it or not, parents will be judge on their parenting skills based on their children's behaviour. Apartment managers need to treat the everyone the same way when it comes to excessive noise disturbing the neighbours. Parents, this mean you should be held accountable for your (general 'your') children's noise, as (here we go comparing pets to children ) a dog owners are for their dogs. In this country (NZ) it is illegal to discriminate on the grounds of family status. That means for example students living together with no kids and a family with kids get the same opportunities but also have the same responsibilities. Both should be considerate of heir neighbours, full stop!
Don't you think that as far as etiquette is concerned it should not discriminate on family status either? Isn't this issue about etiquette?
This is my first post so if I've done this incorrectly, please forgive me! Onward, this response to the original post is bang on. If we are indeed discussing etiquette (which is the nature of this forum), and the original question is "children - how much noise is too much?", our discussion quickly becomes unproductive when we discuss dogs, stereos, etc. Accepting that each one of us will have a different interpretation and tolerance of "noise", a discussion based on something so subjective can degenerate all too quickly.
I am relatively new (4 months) in our multi-family, four story building, and I have learned to accept certain noises. Previously I lived in a very nice bungalow with at least 30 feet between my house and my neighbour's house. This particular neighbour "adored" his new stereo system and I convinced myself that he waited until I was asleep before cranking it up. Even at this distance, with solid, exterior walls on both houses, I could tell which song was being played and hear the words. After repeated police visits, he had figured out how to play his music just long enough to wake everyone up and still shut it down before the cops came.
I'm happy here, for now. At least if I hear my neighbour's kids, stereo, dog, (insert whatever), etc., it is a shorter walk to their front door.