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Author Topic: Two silence-inducing incidents from the university this week  (Read 13545 times)

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hobish

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Re: Two silence-inducing incidents from the university this week
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2012, 03:04:12 PM »

I know it is not the point, but who designs a darkroom without a safety door? Thatís just weird. There should be a door into a light sealed chamber, which then opens into the darkroom; or one of those rotunda doors designed for that purpose. I have never seen or heard of a darkroom with a regular door on it, where you had to wait for it to be safe to open. Why would you even do that?  ???

It sounds like the person in the elevator was trying to be funny and it didnít work quite right.
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WhiteTigerCub

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Re: Two silence-inducing incidents from the university this week
« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2012, 03:09:42 PM »
And it's always possible that she just has a lame sense of humor and I'm totally overthinking this.

When I read your OP, I immediately thought she was trying to make a joke because it was so literal. All of you were riding in the elevator and it did answer the guy's question about "what are you doing here."

Arizona

Sterling

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Re: Two silence-inducing incidents from the university this week
« Reply #17 on: January 26, 2012, 06:20:26 PM »
How exactly is boastful to say yo are working on a Ph.D.?  Should people who are working on higher education hide it because someone else isn't?  I really don't understand that. 

The second one does seem slightly rude but I think it woud depend on tone of voice.  They very well may not have known that the rooms are communal and needed to be notified.  This can be done in a friendly tone.  SO without hearing the words it is hard to say.

Edit to add: I read where you say since he already knew it seemed she felt it was boast worthy.  Well it seems if he remembered that part he wouldn't have asked why she was the school.  To me it her comment just sounded like a reminder of a previous conversation.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2012, 06:22:48 PM by Sterling »
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TurtleDove

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Re: Two silence-inducing incidents from the university this week
« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2012, 09:39:30 AM »
1)
I met an acquaintance in the elevator at my university today. His wife works with my husband, and we are in the same general field, went to the same alma mater.

I said "Hi! What are you doing here?" in a casual manner.
He replied "Visiting, what are you doing here?" in the same casual, jokey manner.
I replied" A PhD."
His companion, whom I have never met, said "If I were you, I'd go with 'riding the elevator'."

I don't know if she was implying that a PhD is nothing to be proud of, or if my current university is nothing to be proud of, but I was speechless.
Acquaintance then said "So, what stage are you in?"

I don't think she was implying either of these things.  It would never have occured to me to suspect it.  Since you and your acquaintance were casually joking, why would you not assume she was too? Again, if virutally everyone there is working toward or has a PhD, it seems odd that you would specifically mention this, again, to your acquaintance.  Using my example from before, it comes across, to me, as if I ran into an acquaintance in the elevator at my law school (a looooong time ago) and he said, "Hi!  What are you up to?" and I responded with "I am working toward my JD."  That would just seem weird to me!

TheVapors

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Re: Two silence-inducing incidents from the university this week
« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2012, 11:07:03 AM »
And it's always possible that she just has a lame sense of humor and I'm totally overthinking this.

When I read your OP, I immediately thought she was trying to make a joke because it was so literal. All of you were riding in the elevator and it did answer the guy's question about "what are you doing here."

That's exactly what I thought! Because it's a joke I would've made... "Why I'm just here riding the elevator, of course."  :-X

I would've taken the comment from the friend's companion as her saying, "Aww shucks, that was an opportunity to make a joke about riding the elevator."

Surianne

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Re: Two silence-inducing incidents from the university this week
« Reply #20 on: January 27, 2012, 02:23:00 PM »
In the first example, I agree with those who said the other person was just joking around.  Like TurtleDove, I never would have thought she was implying anything negative about your degree or your university.  It simply doesn't make any sense to me, given the context.

In the second example, I think you were significantly more rude than the other women.  Unless I'm missing a further explanation, it sounds like opening the door could have seriously damaged their work, since it's a dark room?  10 minutes doesn't seem like a long enough time to be inconvenienced that you had to go to the point of potentially destroying their work. 

I also think your first line to them, "You know, this room is intended for multiple users. It's not like a bathroom stall" was much, much snarkier than you needed to be.  There are ways to remind them of the rules that don't involve the "It's not a bathroom stall" level of snark.

Yes, they should have called an explanation through the door, but that didn't justify you barging in or the way you spoke to them.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Two silence-inducing incidents from the university this week
« Reply #21 on: January 27, 2012, 02:34:35 PM »
I guess I'm in the minority in not seeing the first part as a joke.  I can definitely see where it would be a joke, and I can definitely see myself replying to "What are you doing here?" with "Riding the elevator", but that is not at all how I perceived this situation.  It's the "If I were you" that does it for me, not to mention she was butting into a conversation in which she was not included.  As per the OP, there was also no other indication that she was joking, no comedic waggle of the eyebrows, no accompanying smile, nada.  Maybe it was a joke, but if it was, I think it was delivered very poorly.

Surianne

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Re: Two silence-inducing incidents from the university this week
« Reply #22 on: January 27, 2012, 02:47:07 PM »
I guess I'm in the minority in not seeing the first part as a joke.  I can definitely see where it would be a joke, and I can definitely see myself replying to "What are you doing here?" with "Riding the elevator", but that is not at all how I perceived this situation.  It's the "If I were you" that does it for me, not to mention she was butting into a conversation in which she was not included.  As per the OP, there was also no other indication that she was joking, no comedic waggle of the eyebrows, no accompanying smile, nada.  Maybe it was a joke, but if it was, I think it was delivered very poorly.

Re: the bolded, if it makes a difference, the OP said that the joker (or non-joker, heh) was her acquaintance's companion.  So he was travelling with the OP's acquaintance and thus (in my opinion anyway) wasn't butting in, but was a part of the conversation.  (The OP and the acquaintance would have been rude I think to not consider the companion as a part of the conversation.)

For whether or not the person was joking, I agree it was kind of strange phrasing.  I think the reason I lean towards joking is just that I can't parse an insult out of it.  As TurtleDove notes, insulting the university or the phd program would also be insulting her friend...it just doesn't seem that plausible an insult to me.  If someone were that randomly mean for no reason, wouldn't they make the insult a little more clear? 

I dunno though...I agree it's an odd situation.