BG (important, I'll try to be brief): I have a seriously mentally ill cousin a couple years older than me. Signs started as early as when we were in elementary school (we're in our late 20's/early 30's now) when she attacked me at Girl Scout camp after she heard me calling her a female dog, for which I later sincerely apologized. She actually admitted later she was going to kill me that day if I hadn't screamed for help and been found and I don't doubt it. Our relationship and her mental health have deteriorated severely over the last five years to the point where she can only seem to bark out short questions and be very aggressive. Spending too much time with anyone stresses her out immensely to the point where she can't really function on her own or hold a job. The sad thing is we used to be pretty close and now I can't trust her enough to be alone in a room with her, even medicated. It's also important to know my budget is extremely tight.
Present time: Last year I purchased her a $15 gift from Lush, the bath store that she supposedly adores. She shook the gift, then opened it and closely examined it like she had unwrapped a potentially poisoned treat. I explained what I got and why and got a grunt in response while she continued to look at it like you would expect a very small child with something they had never seen before (she actually is of very high intelligence, but I think her meds really mess her up). Her sister baked some cookies for me and addressed it from both of them. I didn't mind at all, but I wish I had known before I spent $30 I really didn't have on them.
My question is: Even though I have always gotten my cousins a nice gift for what I had to spend, I'm thinking about making a plate of holiday treats for each of them (vegan for the sister, standard for the other) like cookies or fudge and wrapping it up. I feel bad because my cousin's life is so awful, but I don't think my guilt over her mental health issues outweighs my even more strict budget. I'm not crafty at all and I don't want to slave over something that won't be appreciated for no fault of her own.
I'm probably being silly, but what would others do?