Author Topic: Deciding whether to gift a certain person this year  (Read 2513 times)

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still in va

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Re: Deciding whether to gift a certain person this year
« Reply #15 on: December 05, 2011, 10:40:51 PM »
well that there is just a whole lotta special right there, isn't it, HF?   :o

i hope your mom really is beginning to see the light regarding her sister and nieces. 

missmolly

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Re: Deciding whether to gift a certain person this year
« Reply #16 on: December 05, 2011, 10:55:04 PM »
well that there is just a whole lotta special right there, isn't it, HF?   :o

i hope your mom really is beginning to see the light regarding her sister and nieces.

POD. My Aunt and Uncle have a nice beachhouse. They've made it clear that we're quite welcome to use it, but I would never presume that I have the same rights to it as my cousins, their children. And I certainly would let anyone bring drugs into my own house, let alone a friends/family member.
"Any idiot can face a crisis, it is this day-to-day living that wears you out". Chekhov.

gramma dishes

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Re: Deciding whether to gift a certain person this year
« Reply #17 on: December 05, 2011, 10:59:18 PM »

It started years ago when we were teens. Kelly ... whined to her mother that, "HorseFreak and Brother get to use the Vacation House all the time and we don't!"

Uh ... yeah, that'll happen when the vacation house belongs to your parents!   

Good grief!  Thank goodness your parents have enough sense to be sure that your aunt and Kelly and Nancy have no keys.  Hopefully they'll make sure it always stays that way.  Otherwise I'm sure they'd be up there all the time and who knows what a wreck they'd make of the place.  To say nothing of getting into possible trouble with the law.  If they're using the property to do drugs and stuff, sometimes the home owner is liable. 

It's too bad your Mom isn't quite ready to break ties yet (and may never).  It's always easy to sit back in our chairs not personally knowing any of the principals in the situation and say "They should just cut them off",  but in reality when it's family it's never quite that simple is it?

HorseFreak

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Re: Deciding whether to gift a certain person this year
« Reply #18 on: December 06, 2011, 10:01:24 PM »

It started years ago when we were teens. Kelly ... whined to her mother that, "HorseFreak and Brother get to use the Vacation House all the time and we don't!"

Uh ... yeah, that'll happen when the vacation house belongs to your parents!   

Good grief!  Thank goodness your parents have enough sense to be sure that your aunt and Kelly and Nancy have no keys.  Hopefully they'll make sure it always stays that way.  Otherwise I'm sure they'd be up there all the time and who knows what a wreck they'd make of the place.  To say nothing of getting into possible trouble with the law.  If they're using the property to do drugs and stuff, sometimes the home owner is liable. 

It's too bad your Mom isn't quite ready to break ties yet (and may never).  It's always easy to sit back in our chairs not personally knowing any of the principals in the situation and say "They should just cut them off",  but in reality when it's family it's never quite that simple is it?

My mom is getting a lot better about her sister, but she slides back around the holidays. My aunt can act completely charming like a perfect, loving sister, then stab a knife right in your back in a second. Aunt accused me of having a tattoo at the Olive Garden once and cackled and announced to the restaurant that I had a secret tattoo to embarrass me and my parents. I ended up disappointing her by showing my 2" disc surgery scar on my back that she had glimpsed when I bent over. Honestly, if I had a tattoo it wouldn't be secret and he daughters have multiple.

Nancy once said, "you wouldn't believe the things that happen at my house." It's all very sad and the guilt of not being able to protect the girls when they were younger still eats at my parents. At one point Kelly was intermittently suicidal and came pretty close to moving in with my parents when I was in college and I begged them not to. I just couldn't stomach the thought of coming home to that over holidays and weekends. It fizzled out when Kelly refused to inform her mom and my parents wouldn't do it for her. Honestly, I think the damage was already done.

So that's what I'm working with. It's a lot of toxic drama and it looks more intense when 20 years are written out in a few paragraphs. I'm just trying to survive the holidays with a minimum of pain and help my mom.

Miss Bee

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Re: Deciding whether to gift a certain person this year
« Reply #19 on: December 06, 2011, 11:04:18 PM »
Cookies and fudge is a wonderful, thoughtful gift. 

I'm also vegan, and it THRILLS most vegans when someone who's not vegan takes the time to find a vegan recipe and make something for them.
But anyone should like cookies and fudge! 

Your gift is more than appropriate.