(((POF))) That sounds really rough, especially since you also have to put up with his family being as insensitive.
I wish I could make him attend counseling. It sounds like such a deep, ingrained pattern of thought will really need a lot of work to shake loose.
How long have the two of you been together?
We've been married 20 years and over all ... its been a good marriage. I basically use E-Hell approved ways to deal with his family... beandip, intersting assumption etc. They think I am scary - because I will politely call them on nonsense. I also stay out of the drama.
They are at a distance however, DH is close.... and he can be a great guy .... but this thing drives me nuts. The NEVER BEING WRONG .... and its always on little stupid things where it makes no sense for him to take a stand.
We sighned up to do a themed XMAS tree for church. These are a big fundraiser, I had a budget of about 100 to do u pthis tree. He wanted to help... great.
Well I got about 1/2 of what I needed... but needed to add some more things ( no big deal .. I was still on my budget ). He kept insisting it was fine ( it wasn't ) , i bought garland and he put it on in a weird way ... starting about 1/3 down. I asked why he did that ... he argued and argued and argued that it was the best way . I finally got tired of it and told him to not touch it anymore.
I came home from work and he had finished te tree - including the weird garland ... very nicely.
I've told him that he is damaging the relationship
... becuase at some point ... I will just stop caring... but he doesn't compute.
Counseling I think will be a good step, we are entering those years where the kids are more independent and the realtionship will be more about us.