Author Topic: Refusing a dance with a pushy man (pub gig environment- long-ish)  (Read 8284 times)

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WillyNilly

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Re: Refusing a dance with a pushy man (pub gig environment- long-ish)
« Reply #30 on: December 15, 2011, 05:10:57 PM »
I've been thinking about this a little, and it occured to me that 40 years ago, this "gentleman" behavior (especially the kiss) would have earned him a smart slap across the face for being fresh.  Don't know if it's e-hell approved (probably not), but it would've certainly sent the message that his attentions were not invited or appreciated.

I go to a lot of bars, especially dives and especially bars with bands playing.  While in the regular scheme of life a slap across the face is not an appropriate response to most things, in bar, with a physically aggressive man, who is a stranger, who just planted an uninvited kiss on an unwilling young woman... yeah actually I think a physical response is ok.  Personally I'd probably do a shove, but seriously you never need to just stand there and allow a man to kiss you or take your hand and pull you, or grind up against you.  You can always refuse the dance, walk away or turn your back, pull away, or if needed physically pull away or physically push away someone aggressive.  Always.

MrTango

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Re: Refusing a dance with a pushy man (pub gig environment- long-ish)
« Reply #31 on: December 16, 2011, 01:30:06 PM »
You can always refuse the dance, walk away or turn your back, pull away, or if needed physically pull away or physically push away someone aggressive.  Always.

Seconded.  If necessary, make a scene.

Chip2

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Re: Refusing a dance with a pushy man (pub gig environment- long-ish)
« Reply #32 on: December 19, 2011, 06:18:08 PM »
I've been thinking about this a little, and it occured to me that 40 years ago, this "gentleman" behavior (especially the kiss) would have earned him a smart slap across the face for being fresh.  Don't know if it's e-hell approved (probably not), but it would've certainly sent the message that his attentions were not invited or appreciated.

I go to a lot of bars, especially dives and especially bars with bands playing.  While in the regular scheme of life a slap across the face is not an appropriate response to most things, in bar, with a physically aggressive man, who is a stranger, who just planted an uninvited kiss on an unwilling young woman... yeah actually I think a physical response is ok.  Personally I'd probably do a shove, but seriously you never need to just stand there and allow a man to kiss you or take your hand and pull you, or grind up against you.  You can always refuse the dance, walk away or turn your back, pull away, or if needed physically pull away or physically push away someone aggressive.  Always.

Thirded.  You can politely but firmly refuse a dance (or any other attention), but your request is ignored or you're physically accosted I think you're completely justified in making a scene.  And if you don't want to do that, talk to a bouncer or a bartender and let them make the scene for you.

MissRose

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Re: Refusing a dance with a pushy man (pub gig environment- long-ish)
« Reply #33 on: January 25, 2012, 12:59:16 PM »
You do not have to dance with anyone in a bar or club situation unless you want to do so.  Someone who just pulls me on the floor or gets really pushy with me just to get me to dance is not appreciated.

I was at this pub/club place when on vacation with one of my long time male friends.  He saw some people he worked with, introduced me to them while he got our first drinks of the night and there was some dancing going on which I joined in with that group of people and my friend.  Some guy tried to grind up against me & grope me, and my friend noticed his attempts as my back was turned, and he made sure the guy went away from me - it helps that my friend is 6ft 4in tall. 

That among other things why I prefer to go to such places in groups of people I know.

Softly Spoken

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Re: Refusing a dance with a pushy man (pub gig environment- long-ish)
« Reply #34 on: January 26, 2012, 01:38:27 AM »
Podding everyone else and adding my own *yuck*.  :P
When I first started reading I was thinking "okay so the guy was clueless and too bad she wasn't a smoker too..." then I read that he KISSED HER  :o :o :o :o :o :o Oh ehell no he didn't!!!!! ishy ishy ishy...now I feel like I need a shower or something...

It really blows my mind (and leaves me quite steamed) when such nice polite people like AmyBird come on here, after being treated so rudely and disrespectfully and they still ask "was *I* rude?" I hate how rude people get away with inappropriate behavior because others mistake being meek for being "polite" and are too worried about their own potential rudeness to call out the boors that stalk uncouthlessly among us. We need more polite spine training...

Polite =/= doormat/victim. Mr. Slobbery McCigarettes is the one who belongs in ehell - or his butt bounced out of the club or maybe even jail for assault if he can't keep his body to himself.  >:(

No supposed "politeness" is worth a feeling of "wrong" in your gut. No one has the right to do anything to you or get anything from you in the name of etiquette, and if they think they do then they're the ones who deserve to visit ehell.

*end huff*
"... for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
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"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't."  ~Frank A. Clark