Author Topic: Good response for my waiter...  (Read 18626 times)

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Adelaide

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Good response for my waiter...
« on: December 05, 2011, 10:13:54 PM »
I'm not sure if this is classified as "rude" or not, but recently I went to a popular Italian restaurant with my mother and her mother. I ordered a dish that happened to be low on calories and as a result I only left a bite of asparagus on my plate. When the waiter came by to collect the dishes he looked at mine with surprise and enthusiastically said "Wow, you certainly enjoyed that!" I just stared at him. This response would have been perfect. I'm pretty sure he was being rude, right? I just can't put into words how. xD

Minmom3

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2011, 10:26:21 PM »
I vote for not rude.  Not the smoothest ever, but not rude.  You ate it all, so he/she thought you loved it.  To me, it doesn't sound critical, which I guess is how you're receiving it.
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Adelaide

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2011, 10:44:31 PM »
I suppose so, I used to be very overweight and I hate hate hate it when people comment on my eating habits /what I've eaten, so I wasn't a big fan of him calling attention to the fact that I'd almost cleaned my plate.

SisJackson

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2011, 11:04:08 PM »
I don't think this was any comment on your eating habits - I think this is best taken at face value.  You enjoyed the dish enough to eat nearly every bite, that's all.  As a former server, I was always pleased when my customers liked our food.

Shoo

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2011, 11:18:40 PM »
Personally, I think the only time it's okay for a server to comment on how much I've eaten is when I've not eaten much (or any) and he/she is concerned that there was something wrong with the food.  When I've eaten it all?  I think it's better if the server doesn't comment.  It's too easy to take things the wrong way, and frankly, it makes me uncomfortable.

Amava

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2011, 11:54:22 PM »
You make it sound like it was an accusation. It's not. Enjoying food and cleaning your plate is a good thing, and a compliment to the restaurant.
I think in this case "What an interesting assumption" would not have been a very nice thing to say at all, because it would sound like the meal hadn't been very good at all.
And you say he was speaking "enthusiastically". That means he was glad that you had enjoyed the meal. He takes pride in what he serves! (Though he didn't cook it himself.) Maybe he likes that dish too!

I'd actually be much more annoyed by a waiter who brought attention to the fact that I had *not* cleared my plate - I'm always a bit ashamed when I accidentally order more than I can finish and end up wasting food or looking like I don't appreciate the meal. (Take-away bags are not really "done" in most of the restaurants where I live.) 

Edited to add: a good response for this waiter would be simply: "Yes, it was very good, thank you!"

Fleur-de-Lis

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2011, 12:33:43 AM »
I'd be inclined to think it was a reflection of not expecting people to like asparagus.

If I ordered Brussels sprouts and ate all of them, having found them more tasty than I expected, I wouldn't be all horrified that the waiter commented that I seemed to enjoy them.
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MariaE

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2011, 03:01:48 AM »
Personally, I think the only time it's okay for a server to comment on how much I've eaten is when I've not eaten much (or any) and he/she is concerned that there was something wrong with the food.  When I've eaten it all?  I think it's better if the server doesn't comment.  It's too easy to take things the wrong way, and frankly, it makes me uncomfortable.

I'm the exact opposite. I hate it when servers comment that I haven't eaten much. If I don't like it, then that's one thing, but I often just don't have a very large appetite, and I end up feeling wasteful and uncomfortable. I'd much rather have a "Looks like you enjoyed that" when I've eaten it all.
 
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DuBois

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #8 on: December 06, 2011, 03:10:47 AM »


I think that silence and a cold stare was best-I think WAIA wouldn't have been quite correct-I would leave that for malicious rudeness. That said, I do HATE when waiters say stuff like that, and I think it is rude (although probably encouraged by corporate)

lady_disdain

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #9 on: December 06, 2011, 10:45:01 AM »
I don't think it was an interesting assumption. It was quite a logical one, unless you ate everything simply because you were starving even though the food was terrible. That doesn't mean that it was an entirely polite comment either (depending on tone and delivery). It wouldn't bother me in the least, but if you are uncomfortable, a cold "Yes, thank you" will convey that you disliked the comment.

Reason

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #10 on: December 06, 2011, 11:51:22 AM »
How about, "Yes, I did, thank you. Compliments to the chef..."

It does not sound like a dig against the OP's weight at all.

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #11 on: December 06, 2011, 12:05:56 PM »
I think that silence and a cold stare was best-I think WAIA wouldn't have been quite correct-I would leave that for malicious rudeness. That said, I do HATE when waiters say stuff like that, and I think it is rude (although probably encouraged by corporate)


I've yet to find an instance where a cold stare can be considered polite.  Simply responding with "Yes, it was delicious" or something of that nature is fine, but no need to retaliate on a perceived rudeness as, obviously, the OP wasn't actually sure if it was meant to be rude as she's asked for other opinions. 

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DuBois

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #12 on: December 06, 2011, 12:49:27 PM »
I think that silence and a cold stare was best-I think WAIA wouldn't have been quite correct-I would leave that for malicious rudeness. That said, I do HATE when waiters say stuff like that, and I think it is rude (although probably encouraged by corporate)


I've yet to find an instance where a cold stare can be considered polite.  Simply responding with "Yes, it was delicious" or something of that nature is fine, but no need to retaliate on a perceived rudeness as, obviously, the OP wasn't actually sure if it was meant to be rude as she's asked for other opinions.

It may not be 'polite' but it isn't rude, either. I don't mean a 'glare of doom' just a blank look. That might not be very friendly, but it is not rude. It is no ruder than the overfamiliarity of the waiter. I stated that I thought that WAIA was overkill, but I see no need to be super friendly, either.

Adelaide

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #13 on: December 06, 2011, 02:12:53 PM »
All I could muster up at the time was a stare, I really had no idea what to say. I don't think he was commenting on my weight as I had lost all of it by that point, but it still made me feel odd.

gramma dishes

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Re: Good response for my waiter...
« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2011, 02:20:28 PM »
All I could muster up at the time was a stare, I really had no idea what to say. I don't think he was commenting on my weight as I had lost all of it by that point, but it still made me feel odd.

I don't understand.  If you'd already lost what you considered to be "excess" weight, then what on earth would make you think he was implying anything whatsoever about your weight?  He doesn't know you used to be a little heavier and thus might be a little sensitive on that issue.

I think he was just enthusiastic and pleased that you liked the food enough to eat virtually all of it.  I'm sure the chef and the management of the restaurant would have been very pleased too.  By eating all of your meal, you were actually extending a compliment to them and I think he was (awkwardly perhaps) just expressing his appreciation.