Christmas party issues

[Sterling]

In my circile this is pretty normal.  In fact I am having almost the exact same party next weekend.  I am making several fairly heavy nibbles but not a meal. 

[Bijou]

Potluck commonly means a shared meal.  If I were invited to a potluck I would expect a meal, not just snacks.. 
Snacks and drinks is a different story altogether and needs to be clearly worded.  I would say, Bring you favorite snacks to share.
In fact, when you said you were making two hot dips , I thought it was odd that a host of a potluck would just be contributing snacks. 
I would be grateful that someone let me know they thought it was a meal. I think she's rude to tell you how to run the party, though.

from the sound of it, this is the only person who thought it was dinner.  everyone else realized that game night = snack-type foods, and not a full meal. 

maybe this is someone who's never attended the game nights for this group before?  in that case, the first inquiry was fine.  but not the continued questioning and comments. if this how she usually replies to invitations that don't meet her standards for hosting, she might find she won't be getting as many invitations in the future.

And rightly so, on the invitations decreasing.
I never have done a game night before (although I would love to, but no one seems interested, except for me...darn it).  Maybe the term potluck for snacks is common usage among people who do game nights.

[Sterling]

Also when people bring lots of small snacks do they still usually eat a meal?  We end up with so many things like sausage balls, meatballs, cheese plate, hummas and veggies and such that it IS dinner.

[travestine]

For an event starting at 7pm, my friends each would bring a substantial snack (chicken wings, spinach dip in a bread bowl etc).  By the time the grazing was done, we'd all be stuffed and a formal "main course" would be unnecessary.  The fussy friend should be asked to bring chili and buns if she's so worried about guests going home hungry. Sounds like she doesn't understand the meaning of "potluck".

[katcheya]

OP here!

She fully understands the meaning of a potluck.  The initial invitation called it a potluck-gaming night, starting at 7:00.  In my circle of friends (personal friends; this event is for my friends from work,) if something starts at 7:00, then it's definitely not dinner!  However, in HER circle of friends, it usually does mean dinner.  I can certainly understand the surprise that it wasn't a dinner party.

Another attendee (AA) was telling me today that she invited the Surprised Girl (SG) to an event starting at 12:00, a while ago.  AA sent a note to her invitees to ask if they would prefer a full our lunch, or just nibbles.  SG indicated she wanted nibbles.  AA and I found it weird that she's fine with nibbles and no lunch, but harped a bit about not having dinner at a 7:00.

But anyway!  She's gung-ho for the event now.  No other comments were made since I posted this thread.  All is well!

[Surianne]

Glad to hear she hasn't made any comments since and seems interested in the party.  Maybe it was just awkwardness in the moment and not indicative of her real personality?  We can hope anyway.  Enjoy your games night!

[apple]

I'm glad everything has been worked out, and your friend is (finally) showing some enthusiasm for your party!

I think for a games night, nibbles and pickup food is ideal. It would be awkward to have a big, sit-down meal (the games would have to wait until everyone had eaten their fill, you'd have to wait to set out game tables until plates and dishes had been cleared away, etc.).

she seemed surprised by it, but said "that's not how I would do it, but whatever!"

I feel I must point out that this is a very rude thing to say. It falls under the "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" rule IMO. Or, don't attend!