Is everyone else in "the group" single? To me, it seems the snark comes from a place of jeolousy that Todd and Jenny are coupled and not due to any rudeness on either Todd or Jenny's part.
At the time of the invite/birthday:
NyaChan: had just stopped seeing someone
Friend who was asked to pay for cab: was in ldr with overseas service member
Friend w. snarky comment: single w. a potential romantic interest who is overseas as well
Friend who drove him to the store: committed ldr with a grad student
Others were: casually seeing someone, in relationship
, and single w. no intention of changing her status (this is the one who said Todd was using us as props)
I am baffled as to why anyone would be offended or waste any time or emotion on this at all. Todd invited people out for something fun. You can either attend or not, and it didn't seem to me he was rude or SS or demanding in any way, even when people were snarky in their comments and declinations. The rude ones, from my perspective, are the friends who became snarky rather than simply taking the invitation at face value and attending what they felt like attending.
You may very well be right. There is a decent amount of unnecessary drama at this school. Ex: student rudely and mistakenly informs professor that he is wrong because the book says xyz (prof wrote that book btw), by the end of the day the story has traveled through gchat to our whole level. I think the stress, competition, and inability to escape the people around us makes us a bit crazed.
I know I used the word offended with respect to my own feelings and other people, though I can't explain what was going through their minds, just what they told me. For my part, I did feel bad about the singing comment at that time. On further reflection with a clear head, and having read the comments, I realize that he was just trying to compliment Jenny. I still think that it was not a tactful thing to say though.
Poor Jenny. She's dating a guy who prefers a big gesture to a cool fun time.
If Todd wanted to make a fus of Jenny on her birthday and treat her like a Princess, that's cool. but he shouldn't try to rope his friends into it. She's his HIS shiny new girlfriend but still YOUR good old friend. he should have stuck to the usual friend plan and then also taken Jenny out dancing or whatever to celebrate privately.
If the subject comes up again I'd say that "Todd got a bit too enthusiastic over Jenny's birthday but that's not Jenny's fault and she deserves better than to have her birthday turned into a negative thing." Then go back to planning the next chilled out friend party.
in 10 years time you'll meet up with those friends again and laugh about Todd and the birth week.
I really like this, thanks, I think it'll come in handy to have something in the back of my mind just in case.