Author Topic: Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?  (Read 14440 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

MamaCaz

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 12
Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?
« on: December 09, 2011, 03:42:08 AM »
My brother's best friend was killed in Afghanistan earlier in the year. I was not close to his mum (hadn't seen her in 30 years) but since the Army (Australian) decided to treat her like a nobody at the funeral my brother sought my assistance with writing letters etc. So we have been working together and emailing quite regularly for around six months about this matter and also getting to know each other and exchanging family news.

I would like to send a Christmas card to let her know we are thinking of her (she has two adult daughters so it will be difficult but I hope not completely joyless). However, I am a little stuck for wording and up against the clock/calendar now.

I would appreciate any suggestions/thoughts you might have.

TIA


Nibsey

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1445
Re: Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2011, 05:14:48 AM »
Ok, in my area it's traditional to not send or receive Christmas cards the first Christmas after a close family member dies so I don't have any experience of this. But why not just short and sweet,
Happy Christmas, I'm/We're thinking/praying for you. From MamaCaz
“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”- Douglas Adams
Éire (Ireland)

QueenofAllThings

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2921
Re: Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2011, 09:18:43 AM »
I just sent a Christmas card to the husband and children of my high school roommate, who passed away this past June. I simply said that I was thinking of them, and that I hope the new year brings them some solace.

JoyinVirginia

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6093
Re: Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2011, 09:26:30 AM »
I like nibseys suggestion. When my dad died years ago, in early dec, my mom appreciated christmas cards. You could also write a brief note, like "your son and my brother had such a good  friendship, our family has so many fond memories"  , something like that.  She will appreciate your thinking of her, I guarantee.

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 14257
Re: Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2011, 09:35:27 AM »
When I've sent Christmas cards after a death in the family or when a family member has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, I'm careful about what card I send.

I try to avoid ones that say 'Happy Holidays!' or 'Merry Christmas!'  I found ones that said, 'Wishing you peace', which I felt was appropriate to the season, as well as the situation.  And I would write something positive, if I could.  'I hope you have a good Christmas with your daughters', for example.  I like Joy's wording, too.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

doodlemor

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2261
Re: Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2011, 06:52:25 PM »
QueenofAllThings wrote...

I hope the new year brings them some solace.

I love the use of the word *solace.*

Thipu1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6899
Re: Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2011, 10:55:18 AM »
This is always a bit iffy but it can be done. 

There are some people who welcome holiday cards during bereavement because it's a reminder that life will continue.  Others find that cards intensify the sense of loss.  You have to know the family.

Years ago, we found a card that seemed to serve nicely.  The legend was, 'Bringing a message of peace for the season'.  With a personalized note and perhaps an invitation to have coffee or go out together for lunch, the card acknowledged the loss but made it clear that, when the widow or widower was ready, we were there.

Sharnita

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 21616
Re: Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2011, 11:04:39 AM »
There might be cards that specifically apply to those who are bereaved.

JoW

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 944
Re: Christmas card for the bereaved... What to say?
« Reply #8 on: December 16, 2011, 10:40:41 PM »
There might be are cards that specifically apply to those who are bereaved.
A nice card shop - in the US that would be Halmark, not Factory Card and Party Outlet - will have 2 "Thinking of You" Christmas cards.  One is for someone who recently lost a loved one.  The other is for someone with terminally ill family member.  Both say something lines of "you have not been forgotten" or "wishing you peace".