Well we are all back at school, and I am going to be seeing Jenny alone for the first time tomorrow night & was planning on talking to her then. However, there are some things that have happened since which are making me waffle a bit.
1) Jenny shared with me in confidence that a family member is suffering from a degenerative disease that is getting pretty bad - enough that she changed her summer work plans so that she could be near her while she might still recognize her.
2) Friend has been acting really strangely lately. She apparently did better in school this past semester than she has in the past & won't stop hinting about it. Friend has been essentially manipulating people into telling them their grades and then going behind their backs to share it with everyone else - she is really skilled at doing this, because I knew she had been sussing out people's grades and she still managed to get one out of me. She had the nerve to say something uncharitable to me about my BFF at school's grades not being as good as usual (though really BFF has a rank & GPA even now that Friend cannot at this point match by the time she graduates even if she gets straight A's) and makes a point, even after BFF asked her to stop, of bringing up how well she did in the class that BFF was most upset about.
3) She won't stop telling me negative things about Todd. I had a conversation with her during which I exhausted myself trying to bean dip where I could and defending him and my BFF when avoiding the topic was impossible.
Ex: she in Todd are in a class together. She gchats me saying "so funny, Todd just volunteered an answer and got it WRONG!" or complaining that Todd likes to pretend he is all romantic but really he only cares about that stuff when it involves him. In the latter example, Friend had passed Todd her phone to show him and Jenny the sweet text her psuedo-boyfriend had sent her, but apparently Todd - who has never met the guy!! - did not show the appropriate enthusiasm. These are only 2 of the many many things she has tried to tell me about.
Right now I am so angry with her for continually putting me in this position & whatever parts of her that I liked before seem to be MIA or just not standing up to the negativity. I've taken to just not responding at all if she brings someone else up & if I didn't sit next to her in one of my classes (have a seating chart so I can't move), I would seriously consider just avoiding her altogether even if it did cause drama.
Now here is why I am waffling - I don't want to stress Jenny out right after she has told me about her family member. Also I am worried that since I am so angry at Friend right now, I might say too much. I will readily admit that my tongue tends to runaway with me when I am angry.
I am leaning towards doing my breathing exercises to calm down and then very calmly telling Jenny that I don't want to upset her during this difficult time, but I think she needs to know xyz so that she can be aware and protect herself.
What do you guys think? Is this a bad time to tell Jenny?