Author Topic: I am sure this has happened to you before...  (Read 10125 times)

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Eeep!

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Re: I am sure this has happened to you before...
« Reply #60 on: January 03, 2012, 07:19:08 PM »
My grandma frequently runs through every grandchild's name before she hits on the one she is actually talking to.  She once got frustrated and mumbled that it was a good thing her kids stopped at 4 :D

I have a sister and two female cousins. All of us have names starting with the K sound.  My grandpa gave up on our names when we were very little and always referred to us as Grandaughter #1, #2, #3 or #4.  Which is often just shortened to the number as in "Hey #3, here's some money - go buy yourself a slurpy".  Our cards and everything came addressed to us that way.  We still refer to each other by our numbers sometimes for fun.  I miss my grandpa!
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alkira6

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Re: I am sure this has happened to you before...
« Reply #61 on: January 03, 2012, 07:54:31 PM »
My DH was working a late shift and came home around 2 am. Half awake I slur out "Lex?". BAM! Lights came on and I wake up to him shifting the covers around looking for the mysterious "Lex". I show him the cover for season 3 of Smallville that I was watching before going to bed and we both snorfled and went to bed. We are both on occasion known to randomly call out "Lex?" in a sleepy tone and snicker.

Mental Magpie

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Re: I am sure this has happened to you before...
« Reply #62 on: January 04, 2012, 02:50:59 PM »
My grandma frequently runs through every grandchild's name before she hits on the one she is actually talking to.  She once got frustrated and mumbled that it was a good thing her kids stopped at 4 :D

There were seven of us and my mom did the same thing when we were in trouble.  ;D

...then ended it with, "You know which one I mean!"
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Miss Bee

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Re: I am sure this has happened to you before...
« Reply #63 on: January 05, 2012, 08:25:08 PM »
DH's never called me by his ex-wife's name - or nay other ex (although he constantly mixes up his two DDs and his youngest sister's names - he's even called our own DD, the younges,t by the dog's name!). 

But my late FIL, for the first few years we were married, CONSTANTLY called me by DH's ex-wife's name.  He was a sweetheart otherwise, and I know he didn't do it on purpose, and he was elderly, etc. so I laughed it off.  It was annoying though.  He did finally start getting my name right after a few years. 

kitkatswing

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Re: I am sure this has happened to you before...
« Reply #64 on: January 09, 2012, 07:09:37 PM »
Ive been with my husband for 10 years (married for 2)...

I STILL get called "Katie" his ex, and even worse, when he is tired and not thinking he will call me "Gayle" which is his horible sisters name!!!

I just laugh at him and call him Frank....

Aeris

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Re: I am sure this has happened to you before...
« Reply #65 on: January 09, 2012, 08:08:22 PM »
I was with my horrid ex for 10 years, and I've been with my current SO for about a year.

I don't think he ever noticed, but I got the first syllable of my ex's name out twice, about to call him that - I somehow managed to mangle it into something else mid-utterance, but it was there.

I, personally, was horrified, as my ex and my SO are *nothing* alike. My SO wasn't reminding me of my ex when this happened, and I wasn't thinking of my ex when it happened, at all. I stressed about it when it happened, but then I realized that it happened because I had spent 10 years developing automatic vocal patterns that included ex's name. (I think the first time, he was driving and a car swerved near us, and I was trying to utter ex's name in a 'watch out' expression.)

When you've spent so much time automatically prefacing a zillion of your thoughts with certain sounds (i.e., your ex's name), it's quite hard to eradicate them. It may have absolutely nothing to do with how much you love(d) the person whose name you were using, or even whether you are or have been thinking of them as a real person, whether you secretly still want to be with them, or anything else.

When my grandmother needs to say something urgently, like 'that plate is hot!' or 'catch the falling glass!', I get called my aunt's name. Not because she's thinking of my aunt, or because I'm doing anything that reminds her of my aunt, but because she spent more than 18 years living daily with Aunt'sname, and saying things like 'Auntname grab the dog!!'.

It's a pattern that builds up in the brain, based on habit. The human brain puts zillions of things into 'autopilot' - otherwise we wouldn't be able to function. We don't analyze and rechoose each action every second - we allow those created patterns to allow us to put on our shoes while planning our grocery list.

So, in all likelihood, that's all it is. A simple pattern built up in the brain that has absolutely nothing to do with how he feels about you, or her, or whether he was or is thinking about her. I know it's uncomfortable and awkward, but it really is just a quirk of how our brains build and retain patterns.

When that happened to me, I made a conscious effort to start using SO's name, a lot - both out loud and in my own head. I'm trying to build a *new* pattern that my brain will revert to in times of 'autoresponses'.

nalapuppy

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Re: I am sure this has happened to you before...
« Reply #66 on: January 10, 2012, 09:58:29 AM »
My name mix-up happened a few months ago.  I had been seeing this man (Allan), and was friends with another (Logan).  One night, after I had consumed a few drinks, I called Allan....Logan. It doesn't sound so bad, but it was really hurtful to Allan.  He was already very insecure about my friendship with Logan.  Understandably so, soon after that I broke up with Allan, mainly on account of unresolved feelings with Logan.

I still randomly call my kids by each other's names, and also grew up being called by my sister's names.

Irishkitty

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Re: I am sure this has happened to you before...
« Reply #67 on: January 10, 2012, 11:29:38 AM »
My grandma frequently runs through every grandchild's name before she hits on the one she is actually talking to.  She once got frustrated and mumbled that it was a good thing her kids stopped at 4 :D

There were seven of us and my mom did the same thing when we were in trouble.  ;D

...then ended it with, "You know which one I mean!"


Eh, how bad is it that my Mom does this and there's only me and my brother? She also goes through all our cats names too so it's like "Boyname, kitty1, kitty2, kitty3... eh, you!" ::)
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Mental Magpie

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Re: I am sure this has happened to you before...
« Reply #68 on: January 10, 2012, 11:39:57 AM »
My grandma frequently runs through every grandchild's name before she hits on the one she is actually talking to.  She once got frustrated and mumbled that it was a good thing her kids stopped at 4 :D

There were seven of us and my mom did the same thing when we were in trouble.  ;D

...then ended it with, "You know which one I mean!"


Eh, how bad is it that my Mom does this and there's only me and my brother? She also goes through all our cats names too so it's like "Boyname, kitty1, kitty2, kitty3... eh, you!" ::)

That's bad, but kind of funny  :)
I think my mom inherited something from her mom.  There are only two of us and my mom has never gone into animal names, but I am more often Ca-Sam (names changed) than my sister is Sa-Cara.  My mom fully admits this.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.