Author Topic: Too much food  (Read 1094 times)

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turtleIScream

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Too much food
« on: December 20, 2011, 06:16:49 PM »
Every year, I ask my step-mom what she would like me to bring for Christmas dinner. Every year, she says she'll let me know after she's had time to plan the menu. I usually get about 7-10 days notice, which is fine. Typically, she requests a dessert item - either my peanut butter balls, ice cream pie, or sugar cookies. And every year, she ends up making either the same or a similar item as what she requested I bring. Usually, the treats table is so full from her own contributions that mine get set aside. When she does this, it feels like she doesn't trust me to remember, or bring enough, or even to make something palatable.

I know she is under no obligation to serve what I bring, but it still bothers me. Should I just treat this like a hostess gift for her, or can I say something? The evil PA side of me wants to show up with an extra turkey ('cause you can never have too much!) or with nothing at all, but I know that's not an acceptable option. If I go with a smaller plate of cheaper/easier goodies, I run the risk of this being the year my contribution is the only dessert, and I will feel awful that I skimped.

I know the best thing would be for me to get over myself, and not take it personally when my cooking/baking efforts are rejected. Barring that happening (my therapist is good, but not that good!), is there any other approach that might work?
Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not. - Uncle Iroh

rose red

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Re: Too much food
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2011, 06:39:27 PM »
I think I would stop asking to contribute to the meal and just bring flowers or some other hostess gift.

NyaChan

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Re: Too much food
« Reply #2 on: December 20, 2011, 07:05:23 PM »
It is possible that she really does not want anyone's help with the cooking.  She may just be telling you one of her menu items in an effort to placate you and figures "ok if we run out then we'll have extra" and then of course  your contribution just never gets used.  Why not enjoy having a special night where you don't have to make anything and are simply the guest?  If she really needs help, she already knows that you are willing and can always come to you and ask.  Bring some flowers, chocolate, or wine and let her run the show :)

NyaChan

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Re: Too much food
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2011, 07:06:31 PM »
Wait, probably should have asked:  Do other people bring food to this gathering?  Is it only your contribution which is shunted off to the side?