Every year, I ask my step-mom what she would like me to bring for Christmas dinner. Every year, she says she'll let me know after she's had time to plan the menu. I usually get about 7-10 days notice, which is fine. Typically, she requests a dessert item - either my peanut butter balls, ice cream pie, or sugar cookies. And every year, she ends up making either the same or a similar item as what she requested I bring. Usually, the treats table is so full from her own contributions that mine get set aside. When she does this, it feels like she doesn't trust me to remember, or bring enough, or even to make something palatable.
I know she is under no obligation to serve what I bring, but it still bothers me. Should I just treat this like a hostess gift for her, or can I say something? The evil PA side of me wants to show up with an extra turkey ('cause you can never have too much!) or with nothing at all, but I know that's not an acceptable option. If I go with a smaller plate of cheaper/easier goodies, I run the risk of this being the year my contribution is the only dessert, and I will feel awful that I skimped.
I know the best thing would be for me to get over myself, and not take it personally when my cooking/baking efforts are rejected. Barring that happening (my therapist is good, but not that good!), is there any other approach that might work?