Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[Coralreef]

We had a neighbour who had plastic over everything, furniture, plastic runners on the floor, her kids were not allowed in the house except to eat and sleep, because they could make a mess.

Then she always wondered why they left home so early in life and never came back to see her. 

Lady, YOU pushed them out, don't complain now.

That's quite possibly the worst thing I have ever heard.

Pretty much the reason my house was not up to House and Garden standards when the kids were growing up.  One wall was dedicated to their arts and crafts, floor to ceiling tacked on and taped on stuff.  As long as you were not wearing shoes, feet on couch and chair were OK.  General rule was that if it could be washed, it was not a problem. 

[Thipu1]

What was that old saying?

Our house is clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be happy. 

[Coralreef]

What was that old saying?

Our house is clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be happy.

YES!  This is the perfect way to describe it. 

[Piratelvr1121]

My parents always expected me to keep my house model worthy clean.  Baseboards always pristine, floors vacuumed anytime anyone dropped something, no handprints on windows or fridge) I tried to keep it as clean as possible but really, at the time I worked 40 hours a week and had 2 young boys.  My brother's theory was that they didn't understand what it was like to have two young kids close in age, since he and I are 8 years apart and I was old enough to keep him occupied while my mother cleaned and we had a maid come in every 2 weeks.

I like the saying that keeping a pristine house with children around is like shoveling the walk before it's stopped snowing.

[magicdomino]

My sister swears one of her friends put a velvet rope across the entrance to her living room.  No one ever went in there.   

Did your sister happen to live in Illinois?  We knew a family like that too.  They really did have one of those velvet ropes on poles strung across the entrance into their living room.  No one in the family was permitted in there.  To the best of my knowledge, no guest ever crossed that barrier either.  No one ever went near the living room, the dining room or the real family room on the ground floor.  The mother vacuumed and dusted those rooms once a week, but otherwise they were untouched by human hands or feet.

They used the kitchen, and they used their bedrooms and upstairs baths, but otherwise all activities took place in the basement.

Virginia, I think.  Same situation though.

[Roodabega]

When I was in college, my then GF now wife, had a suitemate who loved sour cream.  She would buy tubs of it and just eat it by the spoonful.  Until someone else in the room told her what sour cream was.  Whether it's done deliberately though a chemical process or naturally through aging, sour cream is "soured" cream.

She never considered the possibilities generated by the name.  Also she never really looked at what was in sour cream.  All the fats in it wouldn't really make it a good snack food in large quantities.  My wife said when she was told, she Ew'ed and didn't eat it again for the rest of the school year.  Evidently the fact that it was "sour" made it unsuitable for consumption, even after being told that being "sour" was OK and not bad (except in the calorie department) for you.

[Amara]

I have light colored furniture and furnishings for the most part, gorgeous things I love. I also have three black cats who not only shed but cough up hairballs, vomit up dinner, and occasionally--how can I phrase this delicately?--leave the litter before they should and feel a need to scrape their bottoms on the rug. Also, they have claws. One corner of one sofa is a goner. The comforters have tiny threads sticking out. I can have perfection or I can have cats who love me. I choose the latter.

Seriously, though, I never understood the mindset of those who says things are too good to use. My paternal grandmother would always say that about her Christmas gifts like purses. We never saw her use them even though she claimed to love them. (I think she meant it too.) Furniture, clothes, accessories, kitchen items, rugs, etc. are meant to be used up, to wear out, in other words, to be loved.

I can still see in my mind's eye a page out of an old (ca. 1974) Architectural Digest book on the homes of celebrities that showed Joan Crawford with her husband, Alfred Steele, at home in their white living room. The two sofas on which each of them was shown lying down with a book, were completely "plasticized." (Ah ha! Found one from the same shoot: http://www.joancrawfordbest.com/newyorkcoveroct0906.jpg ) Sure, it's perfect. It's just lifeless.

[Piratelvr1121]

Joan Crawford, as in "Mommie Dearest"? "No wire hangers" Joan Crawford?

[Amara]

One in the same. All plastic, wood and ... well, scary.

[blue2000]

We had a neighbour who had plastic over everything, furniture, plastic runners on the floor, her kids were not allowed in the house except to eat and sleep, because they could make a mess.

Then she always wondered why they left home so early in life and never came back to see her. 

Lady, YOU pushed them out, don't complain now.

That was always a kind of brain-hurt.  People have beautifully holstered furniture and then cover it in plastic.  A house is a place to live.  It shouldn't be enclosed in a baggie. 

We also had a friend who, while she didn't have a velvet rope blocking off her living room, was darn close.  We always joked that she should because nobody ever set foot in there.  Another brain-hurry
 thing about her home was that the only books in evidence were Reader's Digest Condensed books and they were all color co-ordinated with the decor of the rooms.  The ones in the sacrosanct living room were all pink and beige while those in the den were all green.

You had to wonder how much thought was expended on something so silly. 

That would be Mother's living room when we were older. Some of the things had the original plastic wrapper left on, and books and magazines arranged carefully on the coffee table and never moved for ages except to dust. I referred to it as 'funeral decor'. It always looked to me like someone had died and their relatives had cleaned the room and taken all the personal effects out in preparation for the funeral service.

My own housekeeping is awful. I think part of that may be because I just can't stand looking at a perfectly sterile, empty room. It reminds me too much of my childhood.

[Piratelvr1121]

Mine isn't perfect, and surfaces can tend to be cluttered, but I do try to keep up with it and keep after my older two to pick up after themselves. I hate being a nag but I hate excessive clutter even more.

[Luci45]

Joan Crawford, as in "Mommie Dearest"? "No wire hangers" Joan Crawford?

Yes. I think her insistence for perfection and attention to detail was one of the reasons she was the great actress she was.

I hope that she is remembered for her body of work, not her quirkiness. That would make my brain hurt, too.

[Betelnut]

Joan Crawford, as in "Mommie Dearest"? "No wire hangers" Joan Crawford?

Yes. I think her insistence for perfection and attention to detail was one of the reasons she was the great actress she was.

I hope that she is remembered for her body of work, not her quirkiness. That would make my brain hurt, too.

Agreed!  I love Joan Crawford...as an actress.  That picture of her is awesome though!

[stitchygreyanonymouse]

Along the lines of museum-esque parlours in homes.

Don’t get me wrong—there are quilts that are made purely to hang on a wall, or at a show, or as some other sort of decor and to never be used otherwise, but I do not make those. I make ones to cuddle up with.

I made my mom a very simple, quick (in so much as a quilt can be made—it took me maybe 10 hours to cut, piece front and back, and quilt) for Mother’s day one year, because she doesn’t really have any bedding or blankets of her own and is always cold. I know she uses it all the time—which makes me really happy. But every time I visit, she talks about how she knows she should just fold it up and use it for display so she doesn’t ruin it.

She had a house fire just before thanksgiving and one of her church members gave her a quilt—still not incredibly intricate, but certainly more complex than the one I made—which she has no problem using all the time or wearing out, since her daughter didn’t make it for her, I guess?

No amount of "Mom, please use it. I made it for you to use. If it gets ruined, I’ll make you a new one." will get through to her that I want her to use it and not set it aside for display. It’s not like it’s some crazy snail trail piecing with additional intricate applique and quilting—it really is just a utility quilt made of some nice coordinating fabrics.

I give up. At least she does actually use it the 358 days a year I’m not around.

[lady_disdain]

Could you make a deal with her that you will make her another quilt just for hanging as long as she uses the original to snuggle in?