Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[MsMarjorie]

I had this one when I was working as a receptionist over 20 years ago at a firm with over 100 men & woman.

Me "Hello Blobby Industries"
Caller "Hi, I need to speak to my husband"
Me - aha, you can't outsmart me, I'll say "May I say who is calling?" and deduce who your husband is from your name *insert sly, pleased with self grin*
Caller "It's his wife"
Me - crud

[Sanity Lost]

^^^^
That goes along with:
Them: HI I need to speak to Bob
Me: Sure, I have 3 here in the office; which one would you like?
Them: Bob in X Dept
Me: Well this is X Dept are you looking for Bob A, Bob B or Bob C
Them: (getting angry) I just want to talk to BOB!
Me: Okay, can I ask what this is in regards to? (thinking I can figure it out this way)
Them: NO! It's personal! Just transfer me to Bob
Me: Well can I have your name so I can see if Bob is available to take your call (I'll hunt each down if I have to!)
Them: (really angry now) NO! JUST GET ME TO BOB! ARE YOU THIS INCOMPETENT?
Me: One moment please... (grab first Bob I see) are you expecting a personal call from someone who doesn't know which Bob you are. If not do you know which one of you it is? No okay on to the second Bob.

<swearing to myself NEVER to name my kid BOB! I hear Claudius is a nice name)

[Slartibartfast]

I had one of these when I got my (one and only so far, knock on wood!) traffic ticket.  It was a fairly busy five-lane commercial street at dusk - lots of businesses and parking lots and driveways - and one of the traffic lights was out.  I saw the police car with the lights on pulled over on the opposite side of the street, but since everyone else was just slowing down and keeping going I assumed it was a traffic stop.  (No way to tell it was actually an intersection with a side street.)  Nope - as I got into the middle of the intersection, I saw the police officer with the glowy traffic-directing sticks had gone to the far opposite side of the street, looked like to answer a question from a driver over there.  So she wasn't in the intersection at all and the view was blocked by a car turning left in front of me anyway.  It was my bad luck that there happened to be a police officer behind me who pulled me over for "running the light."  (Apparently the traffic-directing officer had just signaled my lane to stop, but all the cars ahead of me went through first.)

So I get pulled over and the officer strolls up to the window and condescendingly asks me "Didn't you see that the light was out?"

I completely blanked - the only reply I could think of was "No, I didn't see it.  Probably because the light was out."  I knew I couldn't say it without sounding snarky, but really!  What else could I say?

Luckily the officer never showed up on the court date so the ticket got dropped - I was dreading having to explain the whole thing to the judge 

[deadbody]

I was also born at a military hospital although in Texas.  I can't even tell you how many people think El Paso isn't in the US, so don't feel too bad. 

My youngest sister has MG and as a result cannot have magnesium at all.  (It intensifies the symptoms which can be deadly particularly for someone already sick enough to be in ICU.)  Also about 20 years ago my other sis was in the hospital and was accidentally given an overdose, but since she wasn't hooked up to anything no one would have known it if the family hadn't been there until it may have been too late.  Since then we have a strict rule of having someone with you in the hospital.

A few years back my youngest sis was in ICU after her latest crisis and was in very bad shape.  The nurse brought in a bag of magnesium in her drip.  We always check meds before they are given and when she told my sis what it was she told the nurse she couldn't have it and why.  The nurse insisted and my mom had to actually step up to step in front of her to stop her!  So not long after the hospitalist came in to find out why my sister was refusing treatment and belligerent.  After my sister explained why, which really she shouldn't have to explain what meds she can and cannot take to the dr, he was extremely apologetic and they switched her to a different nurse.

When DH had his sinus surgery, he told a nurse he was allergic to morphine. I don't remember whether she was about to give him some, or just asking if he had any drug allergies. In any case, she responded with a skeptical look and said, "Are you sure? What happens when you have it?"

"It makes me itch all over. I'm telling you, I'm allergic to it."

She didn't push it after that, but I was annoyed. He said he's allergic to morphine, end of discussion.

Weird I have never had someone question me on that, and I say that as well even though it is more of an addiction issue than an allergy, but it keeps me away from all opiate things which is good.

[Larrabee]

I was also born at a military hospital although in Texas.  I can't even tell you how many people think El Paso isn't in the US, so don't feel too bad. 

My youngest sister has MG and as a result cannot have magnesium at all.  (It intensifies the symptoms which can be deadly particularly for someone already sick enough to be in ICU.)  Also about 20 years ago my other sis was in the hospital and was accidentally given an overdose, but since she wasn't hooked up to anything no one would have known it if the family hadn't been there until it may have been too late.  Since then we have a strict rule of having someone with you in the hospital.

A few years back my youngest sis was in ICU after her latest crisis and was in very bad shape.  The nurse brought in a bag of magnesium in her drip.  We always check meds before they are given and when she told my sis what it was she told the nurse she couldn't have it and why.  The nurse insisted and my mom had to actually step up to step in front of her to stop her!  So not long after the hospitalist came in to find out why my sister was refusing treatment and belligerent.  After my sister explained why, which really she shouldn't have to explain what meds she can and cannot take to the dr, he was extremely apologetic and they switched her to a different nurse.

When DH had his sinus surgery, he told a nurse he was allergic to morphine. I don't remember whether she was about to give him some, or just asking if he had any drug allergies. In any case, she responded with a skeptical look and said, "Are you sure? What happens when you have it?"

"It makes me itch all over. I'm telling you, I'm allergic to it."

She didn't push it after that, but I was annoyed. He said he's allergic to morphine, end of discussion.

Weird I have never had someone question me on that, and I say that as well even though it is more of an addiction issue than an allergy, but it keeps me away from all opiate things which is good.

On our charts we have to list the allergy AND the reaction.

[lady_disdain]

I was also born at a military hospital although in Texas.  I can't even tell you how many people think El Paso isn't in the US, so don't feel too bad. 

My youngest sister has MG and as a result cannot have magnesium at all.  (It intensifies the symptoms which can be deadly particularly for someone already sick enough to be in ICU.)  Also about 20 years ago my other sis was in the hospital and was accidentally given an overdose, but since she wasn't hooked up to anything no one would have known it if the family hadn't been there until it may have been too late.  Since then we have a strict rule of having someone with you in the hospital.

A few years back my youngest sis was in ICU after her latest crisis and was in very bad shape.  The nurse brought in a bag of magnesium in her drip.  We always check meds before they are given and when she told my sis what it was she told the nurse she couldn't have it and why.  The nurse insisted and my mom had to actually step up to step in front of her to stop her!  So not long after the hospitalist came in to find out why my sister was refusing treatment and belligerent.  After my sister explained why, which really she shouldn't have to explain what meds she can and cannot take to the dr, he was extremely apologetic and they switched her to a different nurse.

When DH had his sinus surgery, he told a nurse he was allergic to morphine. I don't remember whether she was about to give him some, or just asking if he had any drug allergies. In any case, she responded with a skeptical look and said, "Are you sure? What happens when you have it?"

"It makes me itch all over. I'm telling you, I'm allergic to it."

She didn't push it after that, but I was annoyed. He said he's allergic to morphine, end of discussion.

Weird I have never had someone question me on that, and I say that as well even though it is more of an addiction issue than an allergy, but it keeps me away from all opiate things which is good.

On our charts we have to list the allergy AND the reaction.

I think that makes a lot of sense. Should a patient be given the wrong medicine, it will be easier to identify the cause.

[oz diva]

Sanity Lost, your story reminds me of another story where someone called The Ritz in London in the 1940s and asked to speak to The King. The receptionist asked which one as they had 3 kings staying there at that time.

[Larrabee]

I was also born at a military hospital although in Texas.  I can't even tell you how many people think El Paso isn't in the US, so don't feel too bad. 

My youngest sister has MG and as a result cannot have magnesium at all.  (It intensifies the symptoms which can be deadly particularly for someone already sick enough to be in ICU.)  Also about 20 years ago my other sis was in the hospital and was accidentally given an overdose, but since she wasn't hooked up to anything no one would have known it if the family hadn't been there until it may have been too late.  Since then we have a strict rule of having someone with you in the hospital.

A few years back my youngest sis was in ICU after her latest crisis and was in very bad shape.  The nurse brought in a bag of magnesium in her drip.  We always check meds before they are given and when she told my sis what it was she told the nurse she couldn't have it and why.  The nurse insisted and my mom had to actually step up to step in front of her to stop her!  So not long after the hospitalist came in to find out why my sister was refusing treatment and belligerent.  After my sister explained why, which really she shouldn't have to explain what meds she can and cannot take to the dr, he was extremely apologetic and they switched her to a different nurse.

When DH had his sinus surgery, he told a nurse he was allergic to morphine. I don't remember whether she was about to give him some, or just asking if he had any drug allergies. In any case, she responded with a skeptical look and said, "Are you sure? What happens when you have it?"

"It makes me itch all over. I'm telling you, I'm allergic to it."

She didn't push it after that, but I was annoyed. He said he's allergic to morphine, end of discussion.

Weird I have never had someone question me on that, and I say that as well even though it is more of an addiction issue than an allergy, but it keeps me away from all opiate things which is good.

On our charts we have to list the allergy AND the reaction.

I think that makes a lot of sense. Should a patient be given the wrong medicine, it will be easier to identify the cause.

Its right there on the front page too, its important information!

[Piratelvr1121]

The TSA confiscated a cupcake because it's apparently a liquid.

(Okay, so the frosting is a "gel," apparently, but the owner couldn't just scrape the frosting off and put it in a plastic bag because the total volume of the cupcake was more than 3 ounces.  Really???)

A red velvet one at that!! Makes me so glad that I've chosen to go by rail the next time I visit Iowa.

[Thipu1]

There have been so many over the years.

One of my favorites was when I was solemnly assured that Hannibal took his elephants over the alps to bring Islam to Spain.

[Hollymom1229]

These stories are cracking me up, while at the same time making me fear for humanity.  Thank you so much everyone for sharing.

[T'Mar of Vulcan]

I ran into a teacher who thought AD meant After Death. I bit my tongue and did not ask her what happened to the 30 odd years between BC and AD.  (She meant after death of Christ)

Wasn't it here that a lot of people admitted they had always thought that's what it stands for? Even the kids I teach - I drum it into them, make them repeat it, and in the next test, what happens? Same stupid answer. I feel like screaming, "It's Anno Domini! Anno Domini!!"

But try explaining to kids (never mind adults) that the second millennium actually only started in 2001... "There was no year nought." "Why not?" *Bang head here*

Hospital anecdote:

When I went into the Sunninghill for a gastroscopy, my gastroenterologist said, "You can leave your street clothes on since we're just dealing with your throat." (Inserting a camera, but it was the upper body only.) I told the nurses specifically that the guy said I could leave my clothes on. They just said, "No, you have to get undressed. Put these on." I said, "The DOCTOR told me I can keep my clothes on." The nurse just said, "No," and shoved the gown and paper undies at me. And when I got down to his rooms, he said, "Let me guess, the nurses made you get undressed?" Uh, yeah, you think??

[Larrabee]

Sounds like that doctor needs to actually talk to the nurses!

[exitzero]

These stories remind me of the time in high school (a hundred years ago, so this story must have made a big impact on me to remember it all this time!).

I had a pocketbook that had a little pocket in the front with a flap. The flap had latch, but the latch was broken so the flap...well, flapped.

No less than 7 or 8 adults had the same conversion with me.

Them: That latch isn't closed.
Me: Yeah, it's broken.
Them: Someone could just reach right in there and take something!
Me: That's why I don't put anything in there.
Them: (with smug attitude) That doesn't matter, they could just grab the whole purse!

Me: Then it doesn't matter if the flap closes or not.

Them: Ticked off. Every. single. time.

[Wulfie]

Another doctor story:

My doctor Dr. Awsome gave up her practice to go full time with Doctors without Borders. Her partner took on all of her patients. I went to see him once, and only once. 

Doc: Your records from Dr Awsome state that you are allergic to alcohol (drinking alcohol not rubbing alcohol)
Me: Yep
Doc: That is impossible. Nobody is allergic to alcohol
Me: I am
Doc: Nobody is allergic to alcohol, I am a doctor and would know better than you about this.
Me: Trust me I am.
Doc: What does this supposed allergic reaction look like?
Me: I stop breathing, go into convulsions, die.  My parents had to do CPR on me the one time I drank.  I have no desire to ever have to have that done again.
Doc: Sounds like an allergic reaction; I will note it in your file. But nobody is allergic to alchol.
Me: Face palm