Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[Luci]

People don't know that Taos rhymes with mouse?  And it may be relatively famous, but it's also REALLY tiny.  =)

Thanks for that. I know where it is, but I don't think I've ever heard it pronounced.

Add that to Helena and Pierre being said properly, I may someday sound half bright.

7000 people? I had no idea it was a small.

[Diane AKA Traska]

Well, to get really technical, it's a one-and-a-half syllable word.  (Like a valley girl "wa-ow!")   It's closer to Ta-ouse, but rhyming it with mouse is close enough.

[iridaceae]

Every once in a while on nights when we are sold out I have the following conversation:

Me:     Thank you for calling Hotel, this is iridaceae how may I direct your call?
Them: Yeah, I need a room for tonight.
Me:     I'm sorry; we don't have any rooms available tonight.
Them: I just need one room.
Me:     Unfortunately we're sold out and don't have any rooms available.
Them: Not even one?
Me:     No; I'm sorry.
Them: Are you sure?

Some nights I get two or three calls like this.  I begin to feel as if I'm speaking Aramaic or something.

[emwithme]

Every once in a while on nights when we are sold out I have the following conversation:

Me:     Thank you for calling Hotel, this is iridaceae how may I direct your call?
Them: Yeah, I need a room for tonight.
Me:     I'm sorry; we don't have any rooms available tonight.
Them: I just need one room.
Me:     Unfortunately we're sold out and don't have any rooms available.
Them: Not even one?
Me:     No; I'm sorry.
Them: Are you sure?

Some nights I get two or three calls like this.  I begin to feel as if I'm speaking Aramaic or something.

Maybe they're waiting for you to offer them a stable?

[iridaceae]

Every once in a while on nights when we are sold out I have the following conversation:

Me:     Thank you for calling Hotel, this is iridaceae how may I direct your call?
Them: Yeah, I need a room for tonight.
Me:     I'm sorry; we don't have any rooms available tonight.
Them: I just need one room.
Me:     Unfortunately we're sold out and don't have any rooms available.
Them: Not even one?
Me:     No; I'm sorry.
Them: Are you sure?

Some nights I get two or three calls like this.  I begin to feel as if I'm speaking Aramaic or something.

Maybe they're waiting for you to offer them a stable?

My boss once admitted he was tempted to keep a tent stashed around the place so he could say "well, we have a tent with no TV, bathroom or bed; will that work for you?"

[Thipu1]

The posts about Ontario made me remember another doozie.

Our library was sending a box of books to McGill University. The brilliant mailroom supervisor told us flat out that it was illegal to send anything weighing more than six pounds to Canada.

[BabyMama]

We were at my in-laws' yesterday for the holidays. FIL is a big hunter, and they were discussing hunting pheasants and what they tasted like. My 13-year-old nephew pipes up that he's heard alligator tastes like chicken. His mom said it does, but tougher. Cue nephew's disbelief that she's ever eaten alligator. She says she has, on vacation somewhere. Cousin says, "So, have you ever had fish?"  I'm still trying to figure out if their diet is just that unvaried, or if he honestly has never had fish. 

[goldilocks]

Fried alligator is actually delicious, and not tough at all.

Anyway, on to the exchange.  I was at my first real job and filed my first tax return.  I was expecting a refund of 555.50, but instead received 55.50.    I called IRS and explained.

IRS:  Well, you must owe back taxes and they were taken out.
ME:  No, this is my first job, I've never paid taxes before.
IRS:  Well, you must have made a mistake in the return.
ME:  No, it's a simple form.  I should get all the taxes back, and it's $555.50.
IRS:  Well, it MUST be something.  The IRS DOES NOT make mistakes.
ME: .........

After several seconds of silence, he finally agreed to look into it and I eventually got my money.

[goldilocks]

I work in the US.  Some days I help the receptionist with shipping.  I had a college intern who wanted to ship a package to Australia "ground" ... I called to tell her that eventually it was going to have to cross water . . .

One on myself -- when I was much younger my dad told me that my car needed to have the tires rotated.  I replied, "But they rotate every day."  And I meant it.  Needless to say, I'm no mechanic.

My company actually ships ground packages to Hawaii.  They travel by truck to a certain point, then board a ship.  Since it never gets on a plane, it's still technically "ground".

[Daffodil]

I put a brand new iPhone for sale on kijiji. In my ad, I clearly stated this was brand new - never opened, and that I'm selling for what I paid, to save from sending it back to Apple, which was about $800. I don't think this is unreasonable, since the product was never touched. I listed in my add "$X.XX, non-negotiable and no trades."

Yet, (and this is the part that makes my head hurt) I had people emailing me, offering me an old snowmobile ('81), an old laptop, etc. I had one person email with "I have $500 in cash, and I can pick it up, tonight!" I nearly responded "LOL ! NO!" but then I stopped myself and just hit delete. Can people not read ?

[kherbert05]

I walked into a 5th grade math class once. The teacher was saying, "You never, ever, ever divide a large number into a small one!" OK. Maybe this is why we have so much trouble teaching math in middle and high school.

 

We had a huge blow up my 2nd year teaching. All the teachers invovled were either 3rd year or 2nd year teaching (so we didn't have a much supplemental materials of our own). The 5th grade teachers were having trouble with a concept in Fractions. The kids swore up and down they had never been introduced to the concept, but the book taught it like it had been introduced.


I went back to the curriculum and realized while book started the concept in 4th grade the state standards didn't start it till 5th. So the 4th grade teachers going by the curriculum had skipped that chapter.


I went to the other 5th grade teacher and showed her this. So problem solved. We could just ask the 4th grade teachers if we could borrow a few books and get copies of the blackline masters. The supplement with some stuff I had found and we could teach the concept. I would talk to the team leader the next day, because I was leaving right after the kids did to go to the doctor.


The next morning I walked into a hornets nest. Some busy body had over heard the other 5th grade teacher and I talking. She had gone with a twisted version that we had said they weren't teaching math to the 4th grade teachers.


Adding to the tensions the other 5th grade teacher and I had traditional licences. All but one of the 4th grade teachers were alternative certification canadiates/licenced. (I didn't know it at the time but the principal back then was treating alternative certification people very badly.)


The 4th grade teachers were angry. I managed to get them to listen to what I had actually said - that they weren't supposed to teach concept - but the book assumed they did so we just wanted to borrow the 4th grade materials on concept.


The tone changed very quickly and we actually went over the rest of the curriculum exchanging materials that the curriculum put in different grades. I brought up the whole telling kids we don't do X, when X is actually taught later in the curriculum. Now we say things like "In 2nd grade we don't subtract big numbers from little numbers. Or in 4th grade we don't put big numbers over littler numbers in fractions" The kids know that means they will do it in upper grades at some point.

[Shopaholic]

I think maybe I asked for it this time, but I recently took a pastry baking class.

The instructor, a pastry chef, was treaching us how to make a glaze:
"Just heat together sugar and water at a 1:1 ratio."
Me: "Is that weight or volume?"
Her: "What? If you take 1 cup of sugar, take 1 cup of water."
Me: "So it's volume then?"
Her: "If you take 1 kilo sugar, use 1 kilo water."
Me: "But that's not the same."
Her: "Yes it is. it's 1:1."
Me: "But is it 1:1 by weight or by volume? 1 cup of water weighs 250 grams."
Her: "Yes."
Me: "But 1 cup of sugar doesn't weigh 250 grams."
Her: "For 1 cup of water add 1 cup of sugar."
Me: "But ... weight and volume aren't the same."
Her: "What is it you don't understand?"
Me: "Nevermind..."

[MRSW]

I will say, I hate trying to decipher the ship to "ONTARIO CA" comments in the system at work because CA is both the country code for Canada and the state code for California and people don't always think a zip code is necessary.  The country, of course, is "obvious." 

well, Ontario is a province. If they were shipping to our glorious province, they'd need a town or city! Were pretty big, so a package for Suzy in Ontario isn't going to get anywhere (and die a slow lonely death at the post office while postal workers mock it for not having a city.) But Ontario, CA is an actual specific place, no further refinement (except for postal zip thingy) needed. I'd be assuming everything labeled Ontario CA is for cali.

or are there a not-really surprisingly large number of people who think they can get away with sending something to Canada armed only with name and province (not even a postal code)?

I didn't explain myself well enough. I momentarily forgot that you all aren't my coworkers, nor in my industry, and don't automatically understand why this is frustrating.

When we're shipping to "Ontario," we use the nearby port codes of YYZ (for Toronto, if it's going to Canada) or LAX (for Los Angeles, if it's going to California).  This is industry standard.  Most of the documents will list out "Canada" or "California," or will have a zip code (US one are 5-digits, all numbers like 99123, while Canadian ones are 6-digit letters and numbers like Z1H 2Y3).  Or, they might have "Ontario, CA" for California (usually) and "Ontario, Ca." for Canada (usually).  It's nicest when they just put YYZ or LAX on the documents.  Less letters and perfect clarity.

Since our office handles shipments to the West Coast of the US, and all of Canada (or more, specifically, we route it to our Canadian offices), it's a common enough occurrence to be annoying.

No one in our office would try to ship something to "Ontario, Canada" and expect it to get there any more than they would send something to Montana, USA and except it not to end up lost. 

[kherbert05]

But most of my exchanges that make my brain hurt are with my 4-year-old.  She has a talent for asking the kind of questions that force me to answer, "Uh... I don't know.  I will have to ask Papa/look that up and get back to you."  Good thing I'm married to an engineer.

I think this is an excellent response. Kids need to know that knowledge is something we keep acquiring over our entire life times. I have many scientists and engineers in my family. I frequently send them questions from my students, when I don't know the answer.

[o_gal]

One year, I needed to get a cake for a farewell celebration for the head of our church nursery. The closest bakery to me is in a Kroger store. I called them because I wanted to know if someone would be available on Sunday morning in the bakery to retrieve the cake from the refrigerator. I wanted it decorated with "We'll miss you" and all the first names of the current nursery kids. I didn't want it sitting in the fridge because no one came in to work bakery until later in the morning.

Me: Hi, I wanted to know whether I can order a cake to be made, and someone would be in the bakery at about 8:00am on Sunday morning just to pick it up.
Bakery Lady: Oh, we won't have anyone to make a cake on Sunday.
Me: No, I want to order it and have it made before Sunday, but just pick it up at 8 on Sunday.
BL: See, we can't make a cake on Sunday.
Me: So I can't order one earlier and just pick it up then?
BL: No, we only make cakes on other days, like Saturday.
Me: So can I order it to be made on Saturday?
BL: Sure, no problem.
Me: And then, would there be someone in the bakery at 8 on Sunday to give it to me?
BL: Sure, we can do that.

Found out later that they start working bakery at 5am on Sunday.