I had a brain hurt with my SIL this past week. It's important to know that I have 4 children, Andrew-passed away at age 3, Benjamin-4yo, Cindy-18mo and Dylan-2mo.
SIL was complaining that it's impossible to find neckties for little boys, her son is 2yo, and asked where I got all of Benjamin's. I told her that my favorite place to get little boy neckties is Children's place, but you can usually only find them around Christmas and Easter. That doesn't work, she needs a tie for her son because they're going back to church. So, she asks if her son can have some hand me downs from Benjamin. I told her no. First off, I'm not giving away anything of Benjamin's because I'm saving it for Dylan. Second, most of Benjamin's ties were originally Andrew's and I don't give up his things. SIL breezed right past the no and told me she would love to have something of Andrew's to remember him by, and that it would mean a lot to her son to have something of his cousin's (Andrew died 6 years before my nephew was born...not to mention I think that his brothers would like a connection even more
) I told her no, I don't give away Andrew's things, they're special to me. She kept telling me how she would love to have something of Andrew's and it would mean a lot to her and nephew, and she was touched that I would give her a tie since she knows how precious the few things I have left of Andrew's are.
Did you ever see the episode of Friends where Chandler and Monica are engaged and trying to get through to Janice that she won't be invited to the wedding? But instead of getting that a small, intimate wedding with just family means that she's not coming, Janice interprets it as they consider her close family? That's kind of the situation I was in. No logic was able to get through to her. Not the fact that I have another son who would be inheriting the ties as he grew into them, and not the sentimentality involved. I finally ended up saying "SIL, pay attention. You can't have the ties. I'm still using them for my boys, and even if I wasn't you still couldn't have one. They belong to me, and I said NO"
Her reply: "Oh, that makes sense, I thought it was weird since you never hand down Andrew's stuff. So do you know what stores sell them? I can't find any right now."