Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[CakeEater]

DD2 regularly makes my brain hurt (bless her creative soul) but this was my favourite one from this week, when she lost a tooth;

[bg] DH and I have a policy of not lying to the kids. When they heard/saw all about Santa etc from other people as little kids we happily played along with their fantasies but if they ask, they're getting the truth. Last Christmas DD2 asked me about Santa. After checking that she was sure she wanted to know I filled her in. She was pretty disappointed, but being the girl that she is she got DD1 to conspire with filling up a small stocking for DH and I, pretending all the while that Santa comes to parents as *well* now [/bg]

DD2: Mum, is the tooth fairy real?
Me: Are you sure you want to know?
DD2: Yes, tell me!
Me: Okay. It's just that you were a bit sad when you asked me about Santa.
There was a pause and then in a small voice from the backseat, DD2: Santa's not real??!!

Ha!

My SIL and BIL have the same policy, but when they told niece about Santa at age 3, she wouldn't believe them, and still believes in Santa now at age 5.

[norrina]

When I was little, I decided that I only liked eggplant that was "grown in the garden". The family went to visit friends for dinner, and my parents learned ahead of time that the hosts had prepared eggplant parmesan. So they warned the hosts of my interesting prejudice against store-bought eggplant, when I asked suspiciously if the eggplant came "from the garden" the hosts said yes (because, after all, a commercial garden is still a garden), and I happily ate my meal none the wiser.

[Ceallach]

POD. I've always felt that way.   There was a time when my mom met a friend of mine when she picked me up from college. I'd described this friend as very pretty, as I thought that she was. On the way home I said something like "Isn't she pretty?"

"Eh. She's kinda plain.  Does she ever wear makeup or do anything with her hair?" Next time I looked at my friend I just kinda mentally rolled my eyes at my mother as I just couldn't see what she meant by plain.  No, friend didn't wear makeup much, if at all.  She still doesn't but I don't think she really even needs it. Her hair is brown and straight, usually worn shoulder length and if she does anything with it, it's usually to just pull it into a ponytail.  She's shorter than I am and a bit curvier but I don't see the "plain". This friend is very sweet and quiet and a lot of fun on a one on one basis.

My best friend describes herself as plain but I'm not seeing that either.

My mother is somebody who really doesn't "see" beauty the way other people do.   The number of times over the years I've heard her say something like "And I met <friends> daughter Angela and she is just such a beautiful young lady!" and she sincerely means it.  She'll rave about how beautiful the particular person is.  And I'll meet her and she'll inevitably be a slightly awkward, gawky young lady (I'm not intending to sound mean here, just to give a description) on the plain side, but who admittedly has a very lovely, sweet personality.  But my mother - who doesn't wear makeup, dye her hair or know anything about clothes - doesn't see any of those things missing in other people either.    It's quite endearing.   

My mother is also very naive and very impressionable though.  It means I have to take everything she says with a grain of salt.  She's a shocker for repeating things she hears as fact without verifying them so gets sucked into conspiracy theories a lot.  As a kid I ended up believing all sorts of nonsense, whereas now I challenge her and she uses logic and fact and realises that perhaps the person who told her or the random place she read it was wrong after all!   

[HorseFreak]

An interaction with my assistant, Annie, this week:

BG: I discover a machine I use on a regular basis is malfunctioning in a very bad way. I speak to someone a little more knowledgeable about it and we go through the troubleshooting, ruling out all the previous and possible causes. It leaves us with one possibility: incorrect filling of a consumable product that needs replacing every several uses. Annie is the one performing this task and we have this discussion.

Me: When you fill the Machine, do you cap the opening? [The machine comes with a cap that prevents product from spilling out into a Bad Place]
Annie: What? *Has confused look*
Me: *Explains self in three different ways* Product has been passing into Bad Place which could only happen if the opening isn't capped with the attached stopper. Do you always cap it?
Annie: Oh, no! I just pour around it. It doesn't get in.
Me: Well, some is getting in. I need you to cap the opening every time.
Annie: But I'm really careful not to get it in there.
Me: It's getting in. *Explains danger of this happening*
Annie: I just pour it really low. It's fine.
Me: *Bangs head on wall mentally* Annie, no, you HAVE to cap it from now on. We can't have any possibility of this accidentally happening.
Annie: Well, I'm really careful, but I guess I can do that. *Still seems confused and dreamy*

This is how every conversation goes. I honestly shouldn't have to write and post an SOP for something not much more complicated than filling your car with gas, but that's what I'll be doing at work tomorrow.

And she wonders why I won't let her do anything that requires any skill or attention to detail.

[Shea]

Loony Library Patron of the Day:

(Patron enters the library and, after looking around with a slightly bemused expression on his face, approaches the reference desk)

Me: Hello.
Patron: Have you seen my book?
Me: Which book are you looking for?
Patron: MY book!
Me: Did you leave something here accidentally?
Patron: No, no, it's MY book! The book I always have when I come here!
Me: Okay...can you tell me the author or the title?
Patron: (slightly annoyed voice) I don't know, it's just my book!
Me: I'm not sure how to help you, sir. Maybe you could browse the reference collection for it?
Patron: (grumbling) Okay, but I don't know why you can't just give me my book...(wanders in the direction of the reading room)
Me: (in my head) Because the Psychic Skills 501 course in library school was full when I tried to register!

I got the impression that the gentleman was slightly...off, but I'm still not sure if he was mentally ill, developmentally disabled, or just really stoned.

[Yvaine]

...   Or the assumptions some people make that a person who is not physically beautiful automagically must have a shining personality, it's just that superficial people can't get past the physical.  In my experience, people of all levels of beauty can be awesome in the personality department or downright ugly.

That's true, but it is also true that if you know a "pretty" person with a horrid personality, they pretty quickly begin to look a lot less attractive and if you know a relatively homely person with a wonderful personality you tend to think of them, and indeed begin to see them, as quite attractive.

Grandma D, you're right on.

POD. I've always felt that way.   There was a time when my mom met a friend of mine when she picked me up from college. I'd described this friend as very pretty, as I thought that she was. On the way home I said something like "Isn't she pretty?"

"Eh. She's kinda plain.  Does she ever wear makeup or do anything with her hair?" Next time I looked at my friend I just kinda mentally rolled my eyes at my mother as I just couldn't see what she meant by plain.  No, friend didn't wear makeup much, if at all.  She still doesn't but I don't think she really even needs it. Her hair is brown and straight, usually worn shoulder length and if she does anything with it, it's usually to just pull it into a ponytail.  She's shorter than I am and a bit curvier but I don't see the "plain". This friend is very sweet and quiet and a lot of fun on a one on one basis.

My best friend describes herself as plain but I'm not seeing that either.

My mom is really weird about calling people fat. She'll call people fat who are nowhere near fat--and it's only if they're a pear shape rather than an apple, too. She'll meet a slender but naturally hippy woman and afterward talk about how she was "chubby." It's like funhouse mirrors appear when she looks at women's hips.

[ladyknight1]

...   Or the assumptions some people make that a person who is not physically beautiful automagically must have a shining personality, it's just that superficial people can't get past the physical.  In my experience, people of all levels of beauty can be awesome in the personality department or downright ugly.

That's true, but it is also true that if you know a "pretty" person with a horrid personality, they pretty quickly begin to look a lot less attractive and if you know a relatively homely person with a wonderful personality you tend to think of them, and indeed begin to see them, as quite attractive.

Grandma D, you're right on.

POD. I've always felt that way.   There was a time when my mom met a friend of mine when she picked me up from college. I'd described this friend as very pretty, as I thought that she was. On the way home I said something like "Isn't she pretty?"

"Eh. She's kinda plain.  Does she ever wear makeup or do anything with her hair?" Next time I looked at my friend I just kinda mentally rolled my eyes at my mother as I just couldn't see what she meant by plain.  No, friend didn't wear makeup much, if at all.  She still doesn't but I don't think she really even needs it. Her hair is brown and straight, usually worn shoulder length and if she does anything with it, it's usually to just pull it into a ponytail.  She's shorter than I am and a bit curvier but I don't see the "plain". This friend is very sweet and quiet and a lot of fun on a one on one basis.

My best friend describes herself as plain but I'm not seeing that either.

My mom is really weird about calling people fat. She'll call people fat who are nowhere near fat--and it's only if they're a pear shape rather than an apple, too. She'll meet a slender but naturally hippy woman and afterward talk about how she was "chubby." It's like funhouse mirrors appear when she looks at women's hips.

My mother-in-law is in very poor physical health, and has several chronic conditions. She is by no means fit and is quite overweight. She regularly critiques celebrities on television and tells me they are fat. I just shake my head and ignore her.

[Snooks]

My mom is really weird about calling people fat. She'll call people fat who are nowhere near fat--and it's only if they're a pear shape rather than an apple, too. She'll meet a slender but naturally hippy woman and afterward talk about how she was "chubby." It's like funhouse mirrors appear when she looks at women's hips.

That blows the theory my friends and I had which was that people tend to think that pear shapes are skinnier than they are because being slim on top with a waist fools the eye.  We've had lots of conversations where people are surprised to find out the size someone else wears in trousers (mainly a size or two bigger than you'd think due to trouser manufacturers refusing to make them for women with hips).

[Yvaine]

My mom is really weird about calling people fat. She'll call people fat who are nowhere near fat--and it's only if they're a pear shape rather than an apple, too. She'll meet a slender but naturally hippy woman and afterward talk about how she was "chubby." It's like funhouse mirrors appear when she looks at women's hips.

That blows the theory my friends and I had which was that people tend to think that pear shapes are skinnier than they are because being slim on top with a waist fools the eye.  We've had lots of conversations where people are surprised to find out the size someone else wears in trousers (mainly a size or two bigger than you'd think due to trouser manufacturers refusing to make them for women with hips).

Well, this is just her own quirk, I think. I've experienced the opposite perception too. And I'm hippy and I wear a larger size than some friends who weigh the same or more, but carry it in their waist area. Especially when pants waistlines were really low for a couple of years.

[Piratelvr1121]

My mother-in-law is in very poor physical health, and has several chronic conditions. She is by no means fit and is quite overweight. She regularly critiques celebrities on television and tells me they are fat. I just shake my head and ignore her.

Snipping the quote tree there, but we had a friend who called our middle son chubby once.  Mind you, middle son was around 3, I think, and has a stocky build like Dh does.  He was not chubby at all and according to his charts he was fine, weight proportional to his height and everything. Friend said "Well your doctor just doesn't want to hurt your feelings, cause he's chubby! You need to watch what he eats!" Um, you can't really argue with the growth charts, man.

Not to mention I really wanted to say "You've got a beer gut on you buddy and you're telling me I need to watch what he's eating when you're diabetic and just polished off a wine cooler and half a bag of potato chips??" But I kept EvilPirate quiet. It wasn't easy.  She wanted him to walk the plank. 

[violinp]

My mother-in-law is in very poor physical health, and has several chronic conditions. She is by no means fit and is quite overweight. She regularly critiques celebrities on television and tells me they are fat. I just shake my head and ignore her.

Snipping the quote tree there, but we had a friend who called our middle son chubby once.  Mind you, middle son was around 3, I think, and has a stocky build like Dh does.  He was not chubby at all and according to his charts he was fine, weight proportional to his height and everything. Friend said "Well your doctor just doesn't want to hurt your feelings, cause he's chubby! You need to watch what he eats!" Um, you can't really argue with the growth charts, man.

Not to mention I really wanted to say "You've got a beer gut on you buddy and you're telling me I need to watch what he's eating when you're diabetic and just polished off a wine cooler and half a bag of potato chips??" But I kept EvilPirate quiet. It wasn't easy.  She wanted him to walk the plank.

Evil!Violin would've "strung" that fool up by his toes.   

[ladyknight1]

My mother-in-law is in very poor physical health, and has several chronic conditions. She is by no means fit and is quite overweight. She regularly critiques celebrities on television and tells me they are fat. I just shake my head and ignore her.

Snipping the quote tree there, but we had a friend who called our middle son chubby once.  Mind you, middle son was around 3, I think, and has a stocky build like Dh does.  He was not chubby at all and according to his charts he was fine, weight proportional to his height and everything. Friend said "Well your doctor just doesn't want to hurt your feelings, cause he's chubby! You need to watch what he eats!" Um, you can't really argue with the growth charts, man.

Not to mention I really wanted to say "You've got a beer gut on you buddy and you're telling me I need to watch what he's eating when you're diabetic and just polished off a wine cooler and half a bag of potato chips??" But I kept EvilPirate quiet. It wasn't easy.  She wanted him to walk the plank.

DS was a very chubby baby, then ran it off when he started walking. We have seen this a few cycles in him, and two years ago, he was overweight for his height. Now that he has stretched out, he is on the thin side and has to eat frequently to maintain his health. MIL makes comments about his weight and we shut her down when we hear about it.

[Virg]

HorseFreak wrote:

"Annie: Oh, no! I just pour around it. It doesn't get in.
Me: Well, some is getting in. I need you to cap the opening every time.
Annie: But I'm really careful not to get it in there.
Me: It's getting in. *Explains danger of this happening*
Annie: I just pour it really low. It's fine."

It seems that this person thinks that spilling while filling is the only way for spills to happen.  Explaining that spillage happens during normal operation might fix it.  For eample, if you're talking about filling a copier with toner, there's an agitator in the toner store that stirs it, so without the cap the agitator will cause a spill even if she didn't spill it putting it in.  It might be worth approaching it this way to get her to grasp that the stopper is necessary.

Shea, the thought that came to my mind when your gentleman started asking for "his" book is that it might have been some kind of notebook or day planner, which is why your questions may have confused him.

Virg

[AustenFan]

An interaction with my assistant, Annie, this week:

BG: I discover a machine I use on a regular basis is malfunctioning in a very bad way. I speak to someone a little more knowledgeable about it and we go through the troubleshooting, ruling out all the previous and possible causes. It leaves us with one possibility: incorrect filling of a consumable product that needs replacing every several uses. Annie is the one performing this task and we have this discussion.

Me: When you fill the Machine, do you cap the opening? [The machine comes with a cap that prevents product from spilling out into a Bad Place]
Annie: What? *Has confused look*
Me: *Explains self in three different ways* Product has been passing into Bad Place which could only happen if the opening isn't capped with the attached stopper. Do you always cap it?
Annie: Oh, no! I just pour around it. It doesn't get in.
Me: Well, some is getting in. I need you to cap the opening every time.
Annie: But I'm really careful not to get it in there.
Me: It's getting in. *Explains danger of this happening*
Annie: I just pour it really low. It's fine.
Me: *Bangs head on wall mentally* Annie, no, you HAVE to cap it from now on. We can't have any possibility of this accidentally happening.
Annie: Well, I'm really careful, but I guess I can do that. *Still seems confused and dreamy*

This is how every conversation goes. I honestly shouldn't have to write and post an SOP for something not much more complicated than filling your car with gas, but that's what I'll be doing at work tomorrow.

And she wonders why I won't let her do anything that requires any skill or attention to detail.

Ugh. Would a funnel help? I would like to think they are foolproof, but your assistant seems like just the person to prove me wrong.

[Piratelvr1121]

My mother-in-law is in very poor physical health, and has several chronic conditions. She is by no means fit and is quite overweight. She regularly critiques celebrities on television and tells me they are fat. I just shake my head and ignore her.

Snipping the quote tree there, but we had a friend who called our middle son chubby once.  Mind you, middle son was around 3, I think, and has a stocky build like Dh does.  He was not chubby at all and according to his charts he was fine, weight proportional to his height and everything. Friend said "Well your doctor just doesn't want to hurt your feelings, cause he's chubby! You need to watch what he eats!" Um, you can't really argue with the growth charts, man.

Not to mention I really wanted to say "You've got a beer gut on you buddy and you're telling me I need to watch what he's eating when you're diabetic and just polished off a wine cooler and half a bag of potato chips??" But I kept EvilPirate quiet. It wasn't easy.  She wanted him to walk the plank.

DS was a very chubby baby, then ran it off when he started walking. We have seen this a few cycles in him, and two years ago, he was overweight for his height. Now that he has stretched out, he is on the thin side and has to eat frequently to maintain his health. MIL makes comments about his weight and we shut her down when we hear about it.

Sounds like my eldest.  He was surprised when he learned that the chubby li'l angel in the picture on our mantel was him at 6 months.   Now, as my best friend says, he has to run around in the shower to get wet.  He's built just like my brother when he was that age, only Pirateboy1 was never as picky as PirateBrother was.   We used to call my brother Little Running Two Sticks when he was a kid and Pirateboy1 is about the same.  He's just really slight of build.  Regular stringbean.

We've had discussions with the boys cause Pirateboy2 thought he was chubby cause he's not a stringbean like his brother and even though he's a couple inches shorter, he's a couple pounds heavier.   We have to remind him everyone's built differently.