Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[Elfmama]

I belong to the SCA, an organization that researches and recreates the Middle Ages and Renaissance. My "kingdom" covers Maryland, Virginia, North and South Carolina, and a bit of Georgia.

Much of our culture is brain-hurty, but the one that drives me the most insane is this: postings for events that could take place in any one of the four states that don't specifically tell you where the event is.  They tell you what group is sponsoring it, and give you directions, but never say "This is in Mayberry NC."  Just "take your best route to I-95 and get off at exit 50." 

HelLO!  There are at least 4 exits designated as 50, one in each state!

[LittleLou]

The notary ones reminded me of a brain-hurt conversation I had when I got married and changed my name (double barreled). I'm in the UK btw but got married in the US and changed my name by deed poll after I got back.

I had various documents that needed to go to all the agencies I needed to change my name with - Passport, Driving License, credit cards etc. Rather than send each the documents to each agency individually (and pay to insure the documents each time) I made copies and had these certified at the Post Office. This means that the copies are checked and verified to be a 'complete and true likeness' of the original. They are stamped and signed and you get a separate, Post Office headed form as proof. This way I could send all my documents out at once, rather than waiting for the originals to come back.

This was all accepted, by every agency and company, apart from by one store card company. The phone conversation went like this:

Store Rep: We received your documents, but they are copies. We need the originals.

Me: The copies are certified by the Post Office. The Passport and Driving License agencies have accepted them. Can you check if you can accept them, rather than me having to send the originals?

Store Rep: The Post Office don't do that.

Me: I don't understand. The forms have been stamped and signed by the Post Office as true copies and I sent the form you get with it as proof.

Store Rep: The Post Office can't do that.

Me: I can assure you they do. I can give you the website address with the details if that helps.

Store Rep: You need to send the originals. These are copies.

Me: Do you have the documents in front of you? *Rep confirms* Can you see the stamp and proof form?

Store Rep: Yes. But that's not something the Post Office can do.

*The way the rep said this was as if the Post Office had done this verification - which is a service they have always done and advertise online - without any legal right to do so. At this point I gave up the fight and asked if there was any way I could make the change without sending the originals, as I was loathe.

Store Rep: You could email a scanned copy of the original

Me: 

[Shalamar]

Elfmama's post reminded me of when I worked for an international company.  There was one newsletter, published in Oakland California, that was sent to the entire company - so, the U.S., Canada, Great Britain, and a few others.

The lady who put the newsletter together evidently had no idea how big the company was, because at the bottom of the cover page she'd put "Any questions?  Come to Room 7 and ask for Brenda."

[Amara]

Hahahaha, Little Lou. Your experience reminded me of when I changed my full name in 1988. (Just a desired name change, no marriage or other reason.) My worst experience was with Cox Cable. I ended up talking to four people, each one progressively higher than the previous, before I got to the area manager who, after hearing my explanation, said, "Of course we can do that. Let me put my assistant on, and she'll take care of it immediately."

(The reason for the previous denials of any name change on the account, was that I had to pay $25 for the change because the company was always getting requests for that with past due bill payers who tried to get out of paying by transferring the account into a roommate's name. (I live in a college town.) Even though they acknowledged I had never been late in paying and had no bill due then it didn't matter. If I wanted the change, I would have to pay because of other people's behaviors. 

[TurtleDove]

When I was married in 1999, I did not legally take my husband Mr. Frog's last name but instead went by the alias Turtle Dove Frog.  There was no documentation of this aside from my business cards and things like that.  My driver's license and all other legal documents continued to list me as TurtleDove.  For some reason, my assistant ordered me a corporate credit card under the name of Turtle Dove Frog, a person who had no legal existence at all.  Apparently, this went off without a hitch.  No one ever compared the name on my cororate card with my drivers license when traveling, for example.

Fast forward five years when I got divorced from Mr. Frog and again went professionally by TurtleDove, which had always been my legal name.  My assistant tried to get the corporate card changed into my legal name.  There was an awful lot of red tape because the credit card company demanded proof of legal name change, which is odd because they never required proof Turtle Dove Frog existed in the first place (she didn't) and no legal name change had occurred!

[FlyingBaconMouse]

A few years ago, I changed my name from "FlyingPastramiMouse" to "FlyingBaconMouse." Several months ago, I got a voter registration form for "Flying P. Mouse" at my current house, an address where I have never lived under that name.

Clearly some parts of my state's voter database are more awesome than others. 

[hobish]

When I was married in 1999, I did not legally take my husband Mr. Frog's last name but instead went by the alias Turtle Dove Frog.  There was no documentation of this aside from my business cards and things like that.  My driver's license and all other legal documents continued to list me as TurtleDove.  For some reason, my assistant ordered me a corporate credit card under the name of Turtle Dove Frog, a person who had no legal existence at all.  Apparently, this went off without a hitch.  No one ever compared the name on my cororate card with my drivers license when traveling, for example.

Fast forward five years when I got divorced from Mr. Frog and again went professionally by TurtleDove, which had always been my legal name.  My assistant tried to get the corporate card changed into my legal name.  There was an awful lot of red tape because the credit card company demanded proof of legal name change, which is odd because they never required proof Turtle Dove Frog existed in the first place (she didn't) and no legal name change had occurred!

That sounds like a huge pain. How were you able to fix it? ...that is assuming you were able to fix it.

[Shalamar]

My husband is currently employed, but not very happy where he is, and he's applied online to a few places.   One company's website asked that he provide a desired salary.  His current salary is $85,000 per year, and he hasn't had a raise in years (which is one of the reasons why he's unhappy), so he put "$95,000/year".

VERY shortly afterwards (less than a day), he got a call from the company.  They were very excited about his resume and qualifications and couldn't wait to set up an interview.   There was just one little thing:

"I see here that your desired salary is $95,000.  I'm afraid we can't go quite that high."
"Oh?  (Thinking that they were going to offer $80,000 or so.)"
"Yes - but we CAN offer $45,000 per year!"

Cue expectant pause, as though the guy was waiting for my husband to go into rhapsodies at the idea of cutting his salary almost in half.      He seemed very disappointed and perplexed when my husband said politely "I'm afraid that won't work for me."

[Ceallach]

My husband is currently employed, but not very happy where he is, and he's applied online to a few places.   One company's website asked that he provide a desired salary.  His current salary is $85,000 per year, and he hasn't had a raise in years (which is one of the reasons why he's unhappy), so he put "$95,000/year".

VERY shortly afterwards (less than a day), he got a call from the company.  They were very excited about his resume and qualifications and couldn't wait to set up an interview.   There was just one little thing:

"I see here that your desired salary is $95,000.  I'm afraid we can't go quite that high."
"Oh?  (Thinking that they were going to offer $80,000 or so.)"
"Yes - but we CAN offer $45,000 per year!"

Cue expectant pause, as though the guy was waiting for my husband to go into rhapsodies at the idea of cutting his salary almost in half.      He seemed very disappointed and perplexed when my husband said politely "I'm afraid that won't work for me."

ROFL!   

It also amuses me when companies don't discuss salary expectation up front.   After all, it is one of the major factors that job seekers consider, even if they are looking for something specific there's usually a threshold that they need to maintain.    I applied for a role once and got a callback, and they immediately wanted to schedule an interview which threw me a little bit.   I agreed, and it was only the next day I realised I knew waaay too little about the role.   I called back and asked a few more questions including salary.  When I told them what I was on the guy was shocked!  "Oh! Um... well no I guess we were looking to pay a little more around $x...."  (a good $30k difference).   There was nothing in the job ad to indicate it was at a lower level, but I can't believe he was going to waste his time interviewing me without finding out what I was actually looking for.   Obviously I cancelled the interview.  I kind of felt bad for the guy because it was fairly clear to me that he knew nothing about recruitment!   I had a similar situation with my current role, again an owner operator, and again she tried to go straight into the scheduling an interview part without asking any other questions about what I was looking for etc.  This time I was ready and said "I'm happy to schedule an interview but I don't want to waste any of your time, is it ok if I just ask a few questions first to ensure we're on the same page?"   Turns out we were exactly on the same page and it's a match made in heaven, but I'm glad I did my homework!

[JoW]

"I see here that your desired salary is $95,000.  I'm afraid we can't go quite that high."
"Oh?  (Thinking that they were going to offer $80,000 or so.)"
"Yes - but we CAN offer $45,000 per year!" 

I once got a call like that from a headhunter (personnel recruiter).  The job was in my field, but the company he was recruiting for wanted 1 person to do a task in 6 months when to do the task right would take a staff of 10 people 2 years.  I told the caller that and he told me "They are offering a salary of X."  I laughed a little when I told him it was the same salary I had made 20 years earlier, straight out of school with no experience, 1/3 of the salary I was making a the time of the call. 

We spoke for a few more seconds and I discovered he had already spoken to several other people with qualifications similar to mine.  They all said the same thing - too much work for 1 person, too little pay.  He was not looking forward to passing that information along to his client. 

[Piratelvr1121]

I once had two girls from Texas insist I was a yankee because I'm from Maryland.  Um, I don't think I'm far north enough to be a yankee!

To a lot of southerners, a Yankee is anyone who is not from the Deep South, not just a New Englander.

As a Californian, I never thought of Maryland as a southern state until my employer sent me to live in what was then a fairly rural town about an hour's drive from DC.

And for brain hurt, more than once I was asked something like "California? Oh, maybe you know my cousin who lives in Burbank?" When I'd tell them that Burbank was about 400 miles (approx. 650 KM) from where I lived, they were astounded. They were just not used to the concept of a state being so big. "400 miles!" one person exclaimed. "That's all the way to Florida!"."

I actually live in Florida - and one day, complaining about a friend who asked me for a favor that turned out to be a lot more driving than I expected, I realized I'd driven far enough that day to have crossed some of the smaller states, without even leaving the east side of my metropolitan area!  It takes me a whole tank of gas to get out of the state by the shortest route.  Being able to drive across multiple states in a few hours made my brain hurt a little bit when I was younger and saw it on TV shows.

Being able to drive to multiple states in a few hours is why I moved back to Maryland.  I think I calculated that in 4 hours you could be in about 8 states.  In 6 hours that goes up to 9 or 10 states.  In 8 hours it's about 13 or 14 states.  Maryland is awesome, we have mountains, beaches, hills, flats, all in one awesome package. We also have all the rocks that fell out of Pennsylvania too, but I digress

Where I am in Maryland now, you drive either north or south for about 20 minutes, you'll be in either Pennsylvania or N. Virginia.  The church I attend has quite a few parishioners from Pennsylvania. Go about 20 minutes west and you'll be in WVA. 

[Cat-Fu]

Shalamar & Ceallach, that reminds me of the headhunters who have contacted me for contracts at $15/hour. Typically contract work in my field & area is at least $40/hr!! (Not that I have any desire to go back to contract, either.) One headhunter argued with me that I was being too demanding, maybe he could get it up to a whole $17...  No thanks...

[ladyknight1]

I am consistently astonished at our permanent full time staff at mid-level positions who apply for positions that are low-level and are amazed that we won't meet their current salary, relocate that position, or reclassify the position to match where they are currently.

Mind you, the last two low-level positions we posted had over 200 applications each. We still have to interview all current staff who apply, even if they currently have a higher position and salary.

[HorseFreak]

I went apartment hunting yesterday and stopped at four different complexes. Aside from one manager acting like I was going to knife her in the back given half a chance it went pretty smoothly. However, I've gotten two calls and an email from one place that was outside my budget. I viewed it just to make sure it wasn't so spectacular I couldn't turn it down (or it worked out with amenities or low pet fees to be even with the more affordable places). I specifically told the realtor it needed it to be less than $PP (price point). She said (with excitement), "We have three options in your price range! Option A is $PP+80, B is $PP+80 and C is $PP+15!" All the previous similar apartments I had looked at were $100-200 less per month AND this place charged astronomical pet and "processing" fees. Plus I would have to rent a washer and dryer which honestly should be included at those prices. The place wasn't that great for the money and I said I'd call if I was interested.

What kind of salesman completely ignores your budget like that? I got out of there as soon as possible since I couldn't get her to disclose all the fees until I specifically asked about each one.

[Cat-Fu]

What kind of salesman completely ignores your budget like that? I got out of there as soon as possible since I couldn't get her to disclose all the fees until I specifically asked about each one.

One who is hoping to make a larger comission (and isn't being very bright about it), I would guess!