Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[Midnight Kitty]

I asked Mental Boyfriend where he had put the lunchbox.  His answer?

"In the closet in the spare room."
"Why?"
"That's where the other one was."
"Wait, you really put it in the closet in the spare room?"
"Yes."
"That doesn't make any sense.  Why would I ever look there for it?"
"That's where the other one was."
"So you really think I would look in the closet in the spare room for the lunchbox I left in the kitchen?"
"Well, that's where the other one was."
"But I left it in the kitchen because I'm using it and that's where I use."
"The other one was in the closet."

I gave up after that.  I realize that he was trying to keep the lunchboxes together (I didn't know there was another one in the closet), but it never occurred to him that I left it in the kitchen for a reason and that putting it somewhere I would never look for it even though I was using it was a bad idea.

MM - I guess you did not know that the other lunchbox was lonely.  Mental BF was tuned in to lunchbox vibrations and he knew exactly how lonely the lunchbox was, sitting all alone in the closet while the other lunchbox went off with you to work.  I'll bet you didn't know that the lunchboxes socialize in the work refrigerator.  Sometimes the hazing gets out of hand, especially when the lunchboxes start daring each other to out-tofu each other.

[ladyknight1]

I went apartment hunting yesterday and stopped at four different complexes. Aside from one manager acting like I was going to knife her in the back given half a chance it went pretty smoothly. However, I've gotten two calls and an email from one place that was outside my budget. I viewed it just to make sure it wasn't so spectacular I couldn't turn it down (or it worked out with amenities or low pet fees to be even with the more affordable places). I specifically told the realtor needed it to be less than $PP. She said (with excitement), "We have three options in your price range! Option A is $PP+80, B is $PP+80 and C is $PP+15!" All the previous similar apartments I had looked at were $100-200 less per month AND this place charged astronomical pet and "processing" fees. Plus I would have to rent a washer and dryer which honestly should be included at those prices. The place wasn't that great for the money and I said I'd call if I was interested.

What kind of salesman completely ignores your budget like that? I got out of there as soon as possible since I couldn't get her to disclose all the fees until I specifically asked about each one.

We went through that last summer. We ended up buying a used washer/dryer from a friend and it worked out. I was astonished by the number of places that don't include them. Good luck finding the perfect place.

[VorFemme]

I was answering tech questions on a user forum.  I got one about what does "black screen with flashing white line mean?"

After giving an answer that identified the most likely problem and a way to work around it (depending on budget - some people want to do it themselves - others will pay to have it done if it is more complicated than "reboot & click F8 to start Windows Repair") - a total of four paragraphs....

I got an email from the person letting me know that they picked the ONE sentence answer (along the lines of "Your old hard drive is toast - get a new one") over my LONG answer that they had to "wade through" to get to the meaning.....

Okay - you mention privately to me that you are taking it to be looked at and will decide what to do (get it fixed or fix it yourself once you find out what it will cost to get it fixed.....) - I've fixed several with the same issue myself for the cost of a new hard drive - roughly the same cost as the "bench fee" for a repair person to look it over and tell you what needs to be done - but not doing anything but diagnosing the issue.  Fine - your money, your choice.

But since when did four three sentence paragraphs become an enormous amount of verbage to be "waded through" to get to the answer?  Are people's reading comprehension skills getting that bad due to texting and Twittering?  Paragraph four was telling them that I had done the same thing - so the first three paragraphs (nine or ten sentences) were based on personal experience. 

(((shrug)))  Note to self - some people don't want an answer longer than their question....but how to tell the difference between that type of querent and the one who wants to be walked through the process to fix the problem (in advance - since there is no real time connection available), I do not know.  My mind reading skills are kaput....if I ever had any.

[hobish]

What kind of salesman completely ignores your budget like that? I got out of there as soon as possible since I couldn't get her to disclose all the fees until I specifically asked about each one.

One who is hoping to make a larger comission (and isn't being very bright about it), I would guess!

Yep. I remember years ago when I still drove going to a lot to check out what they had. I told the salesman who approached, “I am looking for a small, used, preferably European car – not brand new, but not a back of the lot special, either. It has to be good on gas and a stick.”
His answer? “We’ve got a Mustang on the showroom floor that you have to see. It’s automatic, but I think you’ll like it.”
Hmmm. Not small. Not used. Brand new American gas-guzzling sports car. I refrained from kicking him in the shins and just left.

[HorseFreak]

I went apartment hunting yesterday and stopped at four different complexes. Aside from one manager acting like I was going to knife her in the back given half a chance it went pretty smoothly. However, I've gotten two calls and an email from one place that was outside my budget. I viewed it just to make sure it wasn't so spectacular I couldn't turn it down (or it worked out with amenities or low pet fees to be even with the more affordable places). I specifically told the realtor needed it to be less than $PP. She said (with excitement), "We have three options in your price range! Option A is $PP+80, B is $PP+80 and C is $PP+15!" All the previous similar apartments I had looked at were $100-200 less per month AND this place charged astronomical pet and "processing" fees. Plus I would have to rent a washer and dryer which honestly should be included at those prices. The place wasn't that great for the money and I said I'd call if I was interested.

What kind of salesman completely ignores your budget like that? I got out of there as soon as possible since I couldn't get her to disclose all the fees until I specifically asked about each one.

We went through that last summer. We ended up buying a used washer/dryer from a friend and it worked out. I was astonished by the number of places that don't include them. Good luck finding the perfect place.

Ack, this woman called me yesterday and left a voicemail AND emailed me today! I forgot to mention that I would also "have to" start my lease immediately and pay for the entire month of December as well, but she wouldn't charge for November as a "break." How about no? I ended up finding a nice place for $85 less than my max every month in a gated community with nice amenities and no tolerance for noise and I got to pick the day my lease started. It was the place where the manager made me walk in front of her at all times and acted really nervous that I was up to no good, but was perfectly normal when I went back to apply.

[Tsaiko]

The job offer ones reminded me of when I was graduating with my Master's and looking for work. In addition to applying for several positions, I had my resume out of the job boards. There was a company in a neighboring state that looking for someone with my specific technical skills AND the ability to read CAD drawings for a certain type of utility. This was not a common combination and the people who had such skills were making $$$.

This wanted to pay $15/hr and would not offer relocation. Keep in mind I was making more as an intern just using my technical skills without even a  degree in that field than they were offering. I was contacted by several recruiters about this position. Heck, I found out from my co-worker that recruiters were calling around in all neighboring states and had even contacted him about it. He had 7+ years in the field and a degree. No way was he taking the job.

Finally, I got a chatty recruiter on the phone. After explaining that I'd been contacted about this position before, and no one would take it for the money they were offering, I finally got to ask the question I'd been dying to ask since I first read the job description.

Why the heck were they offering so little money?

"Well, they looked at the job boards for similar jobs. There are several in the DC area. The education only calls for a High School degree. So they are offering the equivalent for Ohio."

I cracked up laughing. "You realize those DC area jobs they are looking at require Top Secret/SCI clearance, which is the just about the highest government security clearance you can get. Those companies are recruiting directly out of the military or similar, which is why they only require a HS degree for formal education. I can guarantee the people getting hired have more experience than I do with a Master's. They are also getting paid six figure starting just because they have that clearance."

"Oh." The recruiter thanked me for that information and ended the call. If he was smart he hopefully called the company back and explained to them why they couldn't fill the position.

It still boggles my mind that a company would just look at the formal education of similar job postings to figure out a salary range, and ignore the years of experience, required high security clearance, and actual starting salary of the positions.

[Shalamar]

What kind of salesman completely ignores your budget like that?

I don't know if that's an old salesman's trick or what, but our real estate agent did exactly the same thing when we were house-hunting ten years ago.  "Now, I know that you said you could go no higher than $130,000, but I found this lovely house for only $140,000!  Wait until you see it!"  Then, of course, once you've seen the more expensive house, the ones that are actually in your price range look awful. 

Speaking of people not realizing how big North America is - many years ago, my parents got a letter from relatives in Great Britain.  The letter said "Our friend John Smith is arriving in Montreal on Monday.  Can you go pick him up at the airport?"  My parents lived in Manitoba at the time.  Their response was "YOU go pick him up - you're closer!"

[jpcher]

What kind of salesman completely ignores your budget like that?

I don't know if that's an old salesman's trick or what, but our real estate agent did exactly the same thing when we were house-hunting ten years ago.  "Now, I know that you said you could go no higher than $130,000, but I found this lovely house for only $140,000!  Wait until you see it!"  Then, of course, once you've seen the more expensive house, the ones that are actually in your price range look awful. 

Some house buyers/apt. renters don't give their exact bottom (top?) dollar range.

I know I didn't when I was first house-hunting. I figured the range that I would be more than comfortable in, then looked at the lower priced options for a "deal" first before looking at the higher priced homes which I could actually afford. Then I let the realtor "talk me into" looking at the higher priced homes.

I think that realtors/leasing agents know this. That's one reason why they sometimes push the higher priced options.

I don't think that they are wrong/sneaky/underhanded in any way.

All you have to do is say "Sorry, that's not in my price range" every time they want to show you something that you're not willing to pay for.

[Twik]

I gave up after that.  I realize that he was trying to keep the lunchboxes together (I didn't know there was another one in the closet), but it never occurred to him that I left it in the kitchen for a reason and that putting it somewhere I would never look for it even though I was using it was a bad idea.

MM - I guess you did not know that the other lunchbox was lonely.  Mental BF was tuned in to lunchbox vibrations and he knew exactly how lonely the lunchbox was, sitting all alone in the closet while the other lunchbox went off with you to work.  I'll bet you didn't know that the lunchboxes socialize in the work refrigerator.  Sometimes the hazing gets out of hand, especially when the lunchboxes start daring each other to out-tofu each other.
[/quote]

Seriously, this is a problem when it comes to socializing your lunchbox. The peer pressure is terrible.

[HorseFreak]

What kind of salesman completely ignores your budget like that?

I don't know if that's an old salesman's trick or what, but our real estate agent did exactly the same thing when we were house-hunting ten years ago.  "Now, I know that you said you could go no higher than $130,000, but I found this lovely house for only $140,000!  Wait until you see it!"  Then, of course, once you've seen the more expensive house, the ones that are actually in your price range look awful. 

Some house buyers/apt. renters don't give their exact bottom (top?) dollar range.

I know I didn't when I was first house-hunting. I figured the range that I would be more than comfortable in, then looked at the lower priced options for a "deal" first before looking at the higher priced homes which I could actually afford. Then I let the realtor "talk me into" looking at the higher priced homes.

I think that realtors/leasing agents know this. That's one reason why they sometimes push the higher priced options.

I don't think that they are wrong/sneaky/underhanded in any way.

All you have to do is say "Sorry, that's not in my price range" every time they want to show you something that you're not willing to pay for.

To me it was just the bizarre way she framed it like I had requested something less than $900 and she was showing me a place at $890, when I had asked for less than $800. It's hard to describe, but I felt like she was gaslighting me. My price range was definitely very reasonable for the area and this place really didn't offer anything more than the places that cost $150 less except branding as a luxury complex. Normally you get something extra for your money like a hot tub, concierge or garage.

I emailed her back today explaining that I didn't need a place immediately and wasn't willing to pay for an extra unneeded month and that I had signed at another complex that would give me the lease date I wanted. She replied back that she wouldn't charge me for this month and implied again that this was the Deal of the Century  . She also asked where I signed and asked me to reconsider. I deleted her email.

I'm extremely turned off by desperate salespeople. It feels like they're hiding something.

[jpcher]

I'm extremely turned off by desperate salespeople. It feels like they're hiding something.

The only thing they're hiding is their need for commission.

That's how they make their living. If they don't make the sale, they don't get to bring home X-gifts (or pay the bills) to their families.

One thing that I have to add is "Buyer Beware" . . . I think you handled your situation correctly. Don't let a sales person pressure you into something that you don't want/need.

[greencat]

I actually refuse to give my contact information to salespeople until I've decided to make the purchase/rental/whatever.  The way I see it, they simply don't need it unless I actually want to do business with them.

[Shalamar]

Well, the real estate agent I mentioned earlier (the one who kept showing us $140,000+ homes when our limit was $130,000) was a bit of a piece of work.  One night she came to see my husband and me to discuss some paperwork.  We had two little girls at the time, and there were never enough hours in the day to keep the house neat, so I was tidying up the livingroom when she arrived.  I happened to be hidden from view (I was behind the girls' play kitchen, which was quite tall).   I heard her say "Where's Shalamar?"  I said "I'm here!  Just doing some tidying up!" and emerged from behind the play kitchen.  Well, she absolutely STARED.  You've never seen such a weird look.  I honestly wonder if she thought I was playing with the toys rather than cleaning them up.   

There was another encounter that made my eyes roll.  After she sold our house for us, we had to meet again to sign some documents.  My husband and I had taken our daughters to the food court at the local mall shortly before the meeting.  Something I ate must have disagreed with me, because I had to excuse myself to visit the bathroom no fewer than five times during our meeting.  (Thank goodness the meeting was at our house!)  By the time I had to leave for the third time, she was giving me very strange looks.  I said "I'm sorry to keep leaving like this - I think I might have food poisoning."  She trilled "Oh, I'm sure you're just excited about selling your house!"

Right - because THAT was the only logical explanation.  It couldn't possibly be a questionable gyro.   

[Adelaide]

The flatulence thread in another part of the forum reminded me of this exchange with my parents.

Mine are the type who act quite outlandishly in the privacy of their own house. They will loudly pass wind, belch, laugh at it, and my father has a habit of walking around in his underwear at night. In addition to that they like discussing their current digestive "situations" and pulling out old photos/videos of myself and my brother that are highly embarrassing. They do all of this with close relatives/friends, though I have yet to witness my father in his underwear around them.

I've asked my father to stop belching so loudly and often (you can literally hear it on the opposite end of the house with the door closed) and he said that it's his house so he'll do what he wants. Okay, sure. I'm not pleased with it but I have no counterargument. Yet he and my mother are completely mystified as to why I have never brought a boy over in my two decades of life and why I absolutely refuse to invite the current person I'm interested in over. Never mind that they've been "jokingly" saying that they're going to pull out the home videos and have been joking about how he probably has an AARP membership and an afghan because he's their age. Yeah, their shenanigans will go over great with a 40-year-old man who's never met them before.  I'll probably be engaged before I bring anyone over.

[Shalamar]

Adelaide, your post reminds me of growing up with my parents.  They love me dearly and seem to love each other (still married after almost 50 years, anyway) - but they bicker almost constantly.  And sometimes it's not just bickering, but out-and-out fighting with raised voices, slammed doors, cursing, and the whole bit.   They've come to blows more than once, and one time my mother screamed at me to call the police on my dad.  I was eight at the time ...

The head-hurting part came when I tried to tell them once (this was a long time ago when I was dating the guy who'd become my first husband) that their behaviour embarrassed me and made my boyfriend extremely uncomfortable.    My parents gaped at me as if I'd suddenly started speaking Swahilli and said that they had no idea what I was talking about.  Oh, sure, maybe they disagree occasionally, but that was all!  Certainly nothing to be embarrassed about!

Either they honestly have no idea how the rest of the world sees them, or they don't perceive their actions as unusual.