Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[Mental Magpie]

Ooh, I thought of a couple from my DH.

First, we were going through some storage boxes hoping to find some things we could get rid of. DH came across a small box of some framed pictures. He pulled out a picture of me. In a long white dress. Wearing a veil. Holding a bouquet of flowers. His comment?

"This is pretty. What's it from?"
I stood there staring at him, for what must have been a full minute. I was sure he was joking. Nope.
"Um. That's me in my wedding dress. The one I was wearing when we got married, you know?"

Turns out he was confused because it was a bridal portrait done a couple of weeks before our actual wedding. So, he hadn't seen me pose for it while we were doing pictures after the wedding. And the plain black background also confused him, because we didn't have it in our wedding day pictures.

But his phrasing "What's it from?" really threw me off.

Then one day, I was singing a song to DS that we had heard and that made him laugh. I was trying to distract him while cutting his nails.

Me (singing): One, two, buckle my stinky shoe!"
DH: What's a stinky shoe?
Me:...It's a shoe that's stinky?
 

Mental Boyfriend bought me a dress last year; I wear it about Onve every two months or so. It is 1 of about 5 I own. I wore it maybe a month ago and he asked me, "When did you get that? I've never seen you wear it before." The deadpan look I gave him must have done the trick because he then said, "I'm supposed to know the answer to that, aren't I?"

[Elfmama]

Oh, lord and lady, husbands and their denseness!

From time to time, DH will ask "Where do we keep ________?" or when we empty the dishwasher "I don't know where the ________ goes." I could understand his confusion when he was on active duty and we moved every 2 or 3 years, but we have lived in the current house since 1989.  After 23 years, how can he NOT know where the bread pans live?

Along a similar line, "Why don't you ever buy _________ anymore?"  Because they haven't made it in 20-25 years, dearest.  Which is exactly the same answer that I gave you the LAST time you asked about _______.

[snowdragon]

Oh, lord and lady, husbands and their denseness!

From time to time, DH will ask "Where do we keep ________?" or when we empty the dishwasher "I don't know where the ________ goes." I could understand his confusion when he was on active duty and we moved every 2 or 3 years, but we have lived in the current house since 1989.  After 23 years, how can he NOT know where the bread pans live?

Along a similar line, "Why don't you ever buy _________ anymore?"  Because they haven't made it in 20-25 years, dearest.  Which is exactly the same answer that I gave you the LAST time you asked about _______.

because he does not see them often enough.  That is the answer I gave my mother when she asked how I did not know where something went - we've lived here since 1974

[Slartibartfast]

I can't complain about DH being dense - this time was me    We were talking about the election, and he mentioned that Wisconsin elected the first openly gay senator.  My first reaction was a joking "Wow - did they know she was gay?"

DH had to point out to me that's what "openly" meant 

[kherbert05]

When we moved to San Angelo, we didn't get a bunch of mail. Figured it was just taking time till the change of address kicked in. Then we weren't getting mail that didn't need an address change like the electric bill.


Then a couple of weeks after we moved in, this boy comes down with 2 grocery bags of mail - including Mom's cross stitch books that had been removed from their packaging. Our address had been crossed out an an address 3 houses down and across the street - the family had the same surname.


I took the mail down to the post office to ask what was going on. Turns out that the middle of our street was the dividing line for 2 mail routes. The other guy was seeing the surname and delivering to them. That got taken care off.


Then a couple of years later. I was working at the museum. They asked my Dad to be on the board. I asked my boss if that was going to be a problem. He told me it wasn't my Dad that was going to be on the board. Turns out he thought my neighbor was my Dad.


My Dad was convinced that I didn't work for "that Museum". I worked a the Children's Art Museum which was part of the Fine Arts Museum but in a different location. He thought they were different museum.


They ended up consulting a lawyer. It was decided that since I was hired before Dad was on the board it wasn't a problem.


A couple of years after that I was going to have a computer delivered. My parents went out of town unexpectedly so there was no one at home to sign for the computer. I arranged to have  the delivery changed to the museum.  UPS delivered a tapestry not a computer. The tapestry was supposed to go to the neighbor. I called her and she got my computer - they left it on the porch. We exchanged the packages. For several years after that periodically we would receive packages from the neighbor at work. Even packages addressed to the neighbor at work. Confidential packages containing patient records, he was a doctor.

[Nikko-chan]

Ow... that really is brain hurty. I just have a headache from reading all of that kherbert05!

[violinp]

Oh, lord and lady, husbands and their denseness!

From time to time, DH will ask "Where do we keep ________?" or when we empty the dishwasher "I don't know where the ________ goes." I could understand his confusion when he was on active duty and we moved every 2 or 3 years, but we have lived in the current house since 1989.  After 23 years, how can he NOT know where the bread pans live?

Along a similar line, "Why don't you ever buy _________ anymore?"  Because they haven't made it in 20-25 years, dearest.  Which is exactly the same answer that I gave you the LAST time you asked about _______.

My parents have been living in the same house for nearly 25 years, but my dad rarely washes things, so I had to teach him where everything went. The kicker? It's our new kitchen, which he designed. Whut.

[VorFemme]

Every couple of years, VorGuy will ask a question about something....that comes across the same way - if it's my "job" to handle that project, he does not retain the information overnight.  It's like his brain runs Disk Cleanup and then deletes ALL the information.

This could be about a cake mix, a candy, a soda (pop), a computer game, or any of a hundred other subjects that "he" doesn't do the shopping for since that is (mostly) my job (he works - I am a stay at home mom - so my "job" includes running most errands - with shopping lists, sometimes he wonders why I haven't brought home something that he misses).

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Him - "Why don't you buy Brand X any more?  I like it more than this Brand Y."

Me - "Because the company hasn't made Brand X in years." 

Him - "Are you sure?  It really was better than this stuff..." back to fiddling with whatever it was that caused the comment.

Me -         "I can't get it any more, sorry."

++++++++++++++++  wait six months to two years - repeat conversation ++++++++++++++++++

He quit asking for Crystal Pepsi quickly.  He still asks about some peach candies that the (family) company went out of business about three years ago (they were good - Peach Buds, if you were ever lucky enough to get them).  Tiara Dessert mixes (for a couple of years - not the last fifteen or so - though he still mourns their rich chocolate cakes with Amoretta or Kahlua flavored mousse filling).

I still have the Tiara Desserts pan - but I haven't seen the mixes since the late 1980s (cake in a flat pan with a depression in the middle for a mousse type filling with some other kind of filling in a layer on top of that).  I think I bought three of the mixes after getting the one with the free pan before they quit making them - if they were on sale AND I had a coupon.  They were expensive mixes - but went over well if you were going to a covered dish dinner & were taking dessert.

I still have the pan and it is perfect for pound cake when I want to serve strawberry short cake.....or any other kind of dessert with a filling spread into the depression.....they just travel better across a town than across state lines.....

[rose red]

Oh, lord and lady, husbands and their denseness!

From time to time, DH will ask "Where do we keep ________?" or when we empty the dishwasher "I don't know where the ________ goes." I could understand his confusion when he was on active duty and we moved every 2 or 3 years, but we have lived in the current house since 1989.  After 23 years, how can he NOT know where the bread pans live?

Along a similar line, "Why don't you ever buy _________ anymore?"  Because they haven't made it in 20-25 years, dearest.  Which is exactly the same answer that I gave you the LAST time you asked about _______.

My parents have been living in the same house for nearly 25 years, but my dad rarely washes things, so I had to teach him where everything went. The kicker? It's our new kitchen, which he designed. Whut.

There's a story about this issue in the sitcom The King of Queens.  The wife tells her husband the scissors haven't moved in 10 years so just start opening drawers and look for it himself because "I'm sick of being a tour guide in our own kitchen."  I vow to use that line someday.

[CuriousParty]

Oh, lord and lady, husbands and their denseness!

From time to time, DH will ask "Where do we keep ________?" or when we empty the dishwasher "I don't know where the ________ goes." I could understand his confusion when he was on active duty and we moved every 2 or 3 years, but we have lived in the current house since 1989.  After 23 years, how can he NOT know where the bread pans live?

Along a similar line, "Why don't you ever buy _________ anymore?"  Because they haven't made it in 20-25 years, dearest.  Which is exactly the same answer that I gave you the LAST time you asked about _______.

My parents have been living in the same house for nearly 25 years, but my dad rarely washes things, so I had to teach him where everything went. The kicker? It's our new kitchen, which he designed. Whut.

There's a story about this issue in the sitcom The King of Queens.  The wife tells her husband the scissors haven't moved in 10 years so just start opening drawers and look for it himself because "I'm sick of being a tour guide in our own kitchen."  I vow to use that line someday.

My father asks me questions about this all the time..."Where does your mother keep the..."  The kicker is that not only have they lived in that house for over a decade, I have never lived in that house at all.

[greencat]

My parents fortunately keep most of the kitchen things in the same places they did during my childhood, but some small things, like drinking straws, have wandered around the kitchen in the decade since I moved out, so I always have to ask.

Some of my friends have their kitchens organized in ways that make my brains hurt - pots and pans and cooking utensils far away from the range, for instance.  I am forever opening the wrong cabinet at their homes because things are not where I would logically expect them to be, based on the use of the objects.

[violinp]

Dear Sweet Old Man at Church,

I know you were very sick last week and had to make a trip to the ER. I also know that I am now pretty sick with a nasty cold.

You're sweet to care about my health. However, just because I am congested and coughing a lot, like you were, doesn't mean that I am ER - worthy ill. You had to go to the ER because you are in your 80s and have a weaker immune system than I do, plus you have several health complications not related to your age. I'm miserable right now, but I will be fine. Promise. Cross my heart and spit on my liver.

[RebeccainGA]

Oh, lord and lady, husbands and their denseness!

From time to time, DH will ask "Where do we keep ________?" or when we empty the dishwasher "I don't know where the ________ goes." I could understand his confusion when he was on active duty and we moved every 2 or 3 years, but we have lived in the current house since 1989.  After 23 years, how can he NOT know where the bread pans live?

Along a similar line, "Why don't you ever buy _________ anymore?"  Because they haven't made it in 20-25 years, dearest.  Which is exactly the same answer that I gave you the LAST time you asked about _______.

Oh thank God I'm not the only one with this problem! DP drinks Crystal Lite Fruit Punch, almost to the exclusion of anything else. I put the packets of it in one cupboard, right next to the sink, at eye level, in the front, where a blind field mouse could find them. At least once I week, I get home and am informed that I forgot to leave her anything to drink and she 'couldn't find it'.

Last week, I got home and she told me that the lid to the tea pitcher, which had been in the refrigerator, was missing. I had left it on the pitcher, so I was a little baffled that it was gone, especially since it's one of those that latches on to the pitcher. After scouring the inside of the fridge, the counters, the area between the fridge and the wall and the counter, and checking once again that she didn't set it in the freezer or something, I found it - under the stove. I didn't even know things COULD fit under the stove. Only DP...

[Thipu1]

About a month ago, SIL and her DH stayed with us for a few days.  As is their habit, they wanted to do a load of wash before they went home.  No problem at all.

Because we were all together, we made a phone call to her Mom and along the way, the wash got mentioned.  MIL thought this was hilarious. 

'Oh, ho!  It will take her all day to do her wash in that tiny, little washer of yours'.

SIL and I both shook our heads over that one.  MIL has never visited our home since we got our current washer.  It isn't a miniature version.  SIL even said that the washer was the same size as the one she has at home. 

We decided MIL thinks that, because we live in a city apartment, everything must be tiny to save space.  In fact, our apartment has as much space as a reasonably sized two bedroom house. 

[amylouky]

Oldie but goodie. DH used to work as a delivery driver, in-town only. Once we were at an event on the other side of town, and we had the following conversation:

DH: *pokes me in the shoulder* (not hard, we were playing)
Me: Stop!
DH: *pokes me again*
Me: If you don't stop, I'm leaving you here!  (I had driven)
DH: Yeah, so?? I'll be out this way on delivery tomorrow anyway.
Me: *blink* *ouch* So.. what, you'll pick yourself up??

Yeah, he still catches heck for that one sometimes.