Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[RebeccainGA]

Oh, these stories are heartbreaking.    I've learned not to give my MIL anything handmade (she thanks you very politely, but then you never see the item again), but while I'm disappointed because I put so much work and thought into things, she was never mean.

Elfmama, I'd so love a tree like that. You see, my grandmother had one and just the photo made me think of the Christmas afternoons spent at her house. I'm not sure what became of it after she died, unfortunately.

For the low low price of about $40 you can have one of your very own.

http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Christmas/Christmas/Christmas_Trees/Tabletop_Ceramic_Tree/25121

We've ordered things from these folks before, and they are quick, ship carefully, and have a lot of cool hard to find things. I want one of these trees, too - and for the same reason!

[Diane AKA Traska]

Oh, these stories are heartbreaking.    I've learned not to give my MIL anything handmade (she thanks you very politely, but then you never see the item again), but while I'm disappointed because I put so much work and thought into things, she was never mean.

Elfmama, I'd so love a tree like that. You see, my grandmother had one and just the photo made me think of the Christmas afternoons spent at her house. I'm not sure what became of it after she died, unfortunately.

For the low low price of about $40 you can have one of your very own.

http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Christmas/Christmas/Christmas_Trees/Tabletop_Ceramic_Tree/25121

We've ordered things from these folks before, and they are quick, ship carefully, and have a lot of cool hard to find things. I want one of these trees, too - and for the same reason!

"Gift wrap not available"  Oh, just what I've always wanted for Christmas... irony!

[CuriousParty]

Oh, these stories are heartbreaking.    I've learned not to give my MIL anything handmade (she thanks you very politely, but then you never see the item again), but while I'm disappointed because I put so much work and thought into things, she was never mean.

Elfmama, I'd so love a tree like that. You see, my grandmother had one and just the photo made me think of the Christmas afternoons spent at her house. I'm not sure what became of it after she died, unfortunately.

For the low low price of about $40 you can have one of your very own.

http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Christmas/Christmas/Christmas_Trees/Tabletop_Ceramic_Tree/25121

We've ordered things from these folks before, and they are quick, ship carefully, and have a lot of cool hard to find things. I want one of these trees, too - and for the same reason!

!!!! RebeccainGA!  Thank you!  I wanted one of these when I was a kid, and never got one.  We've been looking on Ebay, but had a hard time finding what we wanted (about a foot tall, for less than 100.00 - they're all 9-10 inches, or 100.00 plus).  Buying mine now...just what I wanted for Christmas, childhood dreams fulfilled

[Outdoor Girl]

(((Hugs))) for all of you who've had your beautiful gifts basically thrown back in your face.

My Dad was a school teacher.  You would not believe some of the ornaments that hung on our tree.     They were always displayed at least the year they were given to my Dad but my Mom always managed to 'lose' the ones she didn't like eventually.

Dad still has 2 of those trees.  One from the mid 70's and the other was made for Christmas, 1989.  That one is almost 2 feet tall!  I'll continue to use them when Dad doesn't need them anymore.  I'm never home for Christmas and I have cats so I don't put up a tree.

[Hillia]

Oh, these stories are heartbreaking.    I've learned not to give my MIL anything handmade (she thanks you very politely, but then you never see the item again), but while I'm disappointed because I put so much work and thought into things, she was never mean.

Elfmama, I'd so love a tree like that. You see, my grandmother had one and just the photo made me think of the Christmas afternoons spent at her house. I'm not sure what became of it after she died, unfortunately.

For the low low price of about $40 you can have one of your very own.

http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Christmas/Christmas/Christmas_Trees/Tabletop_Ceramic_Tree/25121

We've ordered things from these folks before, and they are quick, ship carefully, and have a lot of cool hard to find things. I want one of these trees, too - and for the same reason!

It even has the 'snow' like the one my grandma made for my mom!  I am so ordering this today!

[RebeccainGA]

Oh, these stories are heartbreaking.    I've learned not to give my MIL anything handmade (she thanks you very politely, but then you never see the item again), but while I'm disappointed because I put so much work and thought into things, she was never mean.

Elfmama, I'd so love a tree like that. You see, my grandmother had one and just the photo made me think of the Christmas afternoons spent at her house. I'm not sure what became of it after she died, unfortunately.

For the low low price of about $40 you can have one of your very own.

http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Christmas/Christmas/Christmas_Trees/Tabletop_Ceramic_Tree/25121

We've ordered things from these folks before, and they are quick, ship carefully, and have a lot of cool hard to find things. I want one of these trees, too - and for the same reason!

!!!! RebeccainGA!  Thank you!  I wanted one of these when I was a kid, and never got one.  We've been looking on Ebay, but had a hard time finding what we wanted (about a foot tall, for less than 100.00 - they're all 9-10 inches, or 100.00 plus).  Buying mine now...just what I wanted for Christmas, childhood dreams fulfilled

I'm glad you found what you were looking for! I agree - it's very exciting to find **just** the right thing. :-)

[wolfie]

This will be the first year in many years I won't be making handmade gifts for anyone. The last of the people who appreciated them have passed and I'm not making anything for people who don't appreciate the time and effort it takes to paint, stitch, can or craft a handmade item. One year, when I was unemployed and couldn't afford much, I handpainted Christmas cards for all the really special people or families in my life - two dozen cards. Not one person commented on the effort it must have taken to handpaint and personalize a Christmas card - and a couple of those people are artists themselves. I've needlepointed Christmas ornaments that I notice are no longer displayed on Christmas trees (my tree only has handmade or handcrafted ornaments that were gifted to me over the years), I've needlepointed artwork that disappeared into closets after opening, I've canned, I've made personalized crafts - all these in addition to purchased gifts. The handmade items were never acknowledged, but I wanted to do them anyway - I guess because the handmade things that I've received have always meant a lot to me.

This year, now that the last of those who really appreciated anything handmade is gone, I'm stopping my urge to think of what I'm going to make this year. I'll find another use for my time.

I think it is also important to remember that just because it is homemade doesn't mean it will be someone's style. I really don't care if something is storebought or homemade - if I like it I like it and that is all that matters. But I am not a needlepoint type of person so it would have to be something I really really like before I would display it on my wall - whether you made it or bought it. It's not a reflection on you or how much I value you. It's not a reflection that I don't l like any handcrafted things. It just means I don't like that particular type of object. I think it is really important to make sure that the person you are giving something to would appreciate something like that before making it. Personally I think if i spend hours  making something and the person just quietly disposed of it I would be hurt - so I understand that reaction.  So double check they like that kind of thing before starting.

[Outdoor Girl]

^  Oh, yes.  I've been given some ugly handcrafted stuff over the years.  But then, I've also been given ugly commercially made stuff, too.  The key is to taylor the piece to the recipient.

I have one friend who doesn't like handcrafted stuff at all.  So I don't give her any.  Another friend loves that kind of stuff so I make her things I know she'll appreciate.

[AfleetAlex]

When I was a teenager, my grandmother once made me a pair of enormous underwear and gave them to me at Christmas in front of the whole family. I have to admit my reaction was pretty much what some of you described above as I was pretty mortified.

Other than that year she's always given excellent hand-made gifts and I've always been appreciative.

[TurtleDove]

I think it is also important to remember that just because it is homemade doesn't mean it will be someone's style. I really don't care if something is storebought or homemade - if I like it I like it and that is all that matters. But I am not a needlepoint type of person so it would have to be something I really really like before I would display it on my wall - whether you made it or bought it. It's not a reflection on you or how much I value you. It's not a reflection that I don't l like any handcrafted things. It just means I don't like that particular type of object. I think it is really important to make sure that the person you are giving something to would appreciate something like that before making it. Personally I think if i spend hours  making something and the person just quietly disposed of it I would be hurt - so I understand that reaction.  So double check they like that kind of thing before starting.

This.  It's a know your audience type of thing.  It sounds like some posters really enjoying making handcrafted gifts, and that's great!  But it doesn't follow that a recipient is rude or unappreciative if the gift is not her style.  It's not a reflection of the giver, but rather an honesty that in practice, I don't display latch hooked art on my walls, for example.  For me, a latch hooked art piece would NOT be a thoughtful gift to give me, for this very reason.

[Outdoor Girl]

Like my friend, who's taste runs toward modern, somewhat minimalistic, dark woods and her MIL got her a subscription to a Country Living magazine, with all sorts of decor suggestions.  She still can't figure out what her MIL was thinking.

[Diane AKA Traska]

Like my friend, who's taste runs toward modern, somewhat minimalistic, dark woods and her MIL got her a subscription to a Country Living magazine, with all sorts of decor suggestions.  She still can't figure out what her MIL was thinking.

Her MIL was thinking that she herself didn't like minimalist and dark woods and wanted to drop an oh-so-subtle hint.

[mbbored]

This will be the first year in many years I won't be making handmade gifts for anyone. The last of the people who appreciated them have passed and I'm not making anything for people who don't appreciate the time and effort it takes to paint, stitch, can or craft a handmade item. One year, when I was unemployed and couldn't afford much, I handpainted Christmas cards for all the really special people or families in my life - two dozen cards. Not one person commented on the effort it must have taken to handpaint and personalize a Christmas card - and a couple of those people are artists themselves. I've needlepointed Christmas ornaments that I notice are no longer displayed on Christmas trees (my tree only has handmade or handcrafted ornaments that were gifted to me over the years), I've needlepointed artwork that disappeared into closets after opening, I've canned, I've made personalized crafts - all these in addition to purchased gifts. The handmade items were never acknowledged, but I wanted to do them anyway - I guess because the handmade things that I've received have always meant a lot to me.

This year, now that the last of those who really appreciated anything handmade is gone, I'm stopping my urge to think of what I'm going to make this year. I'll find another use for my time.

I think it is also important to remember that just because it is homemade doesn't mean it will be someone's style. I really don't care if something is storebought or homemade - if I like it I like it and that is all that matters. But I am not a needlepoint type of person so it would have to be something I really really like before I would display it on my wall - whether you made it or bought it. It's not a reflection on you or how much I value you. It's not a reflection that I don't l like any handcrafted things. It just means I don't like that particular type of object. I think it is really important to make sure that the person you are giving something to would appreciate something like that before making it. Personally I think if i spend hours  making something and the person just quietly disposed of it I would be hurt - so I understand that reaction.  So double check they like that kind of thing before starting.

Wolfie, I agree. I would be hurt if somebody didn't like a present that I put a lot of effort in to. I also usually give handmade gifts but there are people in my life who don't like jams and jellies or candles so I find something else to give them. My sister makes and sells extraordinary quilts and wall hangings but one of our grandmothers really doesn't care for quilts so sis has never given her one.

[Jones]

I didn't appreciate Great Grandma's gifts when I was a child.

Wasn't really my fault; I mean, what 6-year-old is going to appreciate hand knit slippers, beyond "Oh I'll wear these around the house, they're great for slip sliding." Well, GG died when I was 6, my last Christmas present from her was a green and red scarf. I used it through the years but it wasn't a "favorite thing". My sister was given a blue and pink scarf. Somehow through the years I ended up with both scarfs; my sister never did like hers. They hang next to my front door to be used by me/the kids/DH as needed. They have really held up! I've been careful about spot washing and avoiding the dryer.

Recently (last week) 7-year-old Jean and I read a book about a little girl getting an afghan handed down, that her GG had given her grandmother. It was then I told Jean that the scarves by the door were made by my GG, her GGG, and someday she would get one and her brother would get one.  I have never seen a 7 year old so excited about a homemade yarn gift before. It's precious. I wish GG could see how happy Jean is, I am certain it would negate the lack of enthusiasm I had as a tot.

[Outdoor Girl]

Like my friend, who's taste runs toward modern, somewhat minimalistic, dark woods and her MIL got her a subscription to a Country Living magazine, with all sorts of decor suggestions.  She still can't figure out what her MIL was thinking.

Her MIL was thinking that she herself didn't like minimalist and dark woods and wanted to drop an oh-so-subtle hint.

But what's really weird is that the MIL's house isn't country!