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Author Topic: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt  (Read 2360657 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5805 on: November 21, 2012, 03:47:17 PM »
From my annual visits, it is usually the patient or patient's companion who starts the conversation in the presence of other people. The staff usually try to guide them back into a private room, to no avail. While I try very hard not to eavesdrop, it is impossible not to hear things shouted a few feet away.
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
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Shoo

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5806 on: November 21, 2012, 04:20:28 PM »
When I was a teenager, my grandmother once made me a pair of enormous underwear and gave them to me at Christmas in front of the whole family. I have to admit my reaction was pretty much what some of you described above as I was pretty mortified.

Other than that year she's always given excellent hand-made gifts and I've always been appreciative.

Seriously?  Your grandma gave you gigantic home made underwear for Christmas when you were a teenager?  Was it some kind of joke or something?  I'm dying to know the background to this story.  Did everyone in the family get underwear for Christmas that year, or just you?  And was that all she gave you?  There's GOT to be more!  :) 

hobish

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5807 on: November 21, 2012, 04:31:50 PM »
Like my friend, who's taste runs toward modern, somewhat minimalistic, dark woods and her MIL got her a subscription to a Country Living magazine, with all sorts of decor suggestions.  She still can't figure out what her MIL was thinking.

Her MIL was thinking that she herself didn't like minimalist and dark woods and wanted to drop an oh-so-subtle hint.

But what's really weird is that the MIL's house isn't country!

I think sometimes people equate wood of any sort with country decor.
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Jaelle

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5808 on: November 21, 2012, 05:05:19 PM »
Oh, these stories are heartbreaking.  :'(  I've learned not to give my MIL anything handmade (she thanks you very politely, but then you never see the item again), but while I'm disappointed because I put so much work and thought into things, she was never mean.

Elfmama, I'd so love a tree like that. :) You see, my grandmother had one and just the photo made me think of the Christmas afternoons spent at her house. I'm not sure what became of it after she died, unfortunately.

For the low low price of about $40 you can have one of your very own.

http://www.vermontcountrystore.com/store/jump/productDetail/Christmas/Christmas/Christmas_Trees/Tabletop_Ceramic_Tree/25121

We've ordered things from these folks before, and they are quick, ship carefully, and have a lot of cool hard to find things. I want one of these trees, too - and for the same reason!

!!!! RebeccainGA!  Thank you!  I wanted one of these when I was a kid, and never got one.  We've been looking on Ebay, but had a hard time finding what we wanted (about a foot tall, for less than 100.00 - they're all 9-10 inches, or 100.00 plus).  Buying mine now...just what I wanted for Christmas, childhood dreams fulfilled :)

Yes, thank you!
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Luci

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5809 on: November 21, 2012, 06:06:51 PM »
http://notalwaysright.com/?p=25149
My head hurts and my faith in humanity is destroyed.
At the end, when the pregnant ditz says, "You just lost a patient ..."  The doctor was probably thinking, "It's not professional to celebrate this good news." Bonus points if he waited for her to leave before doing his happy dance. >:D

I am actually more disturbed that another patient heard this entire discussion.

I've never felt that Not Always Right is the most reliable of sources.

They really do make me laugh, though, and I enjoy reading them.

Morrigan

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5810 on: November 21, 2012, 09:00:50 PM »
Many many years ago, I was into ceramics. Christmas stuff, mainly, and sold them at craft fairs. Back then we were on a pretty tight budget, so I made a lot of my Christmas gifts.  One year I made trees for both my mother and MIL, like this:
 
 
 
 only with a fancy base that looked like wrapped packages and toys.  I personalized them with the package tags having names of their kids and grandkids as well as Mom/Dad MIL/ FIL themselves.  The "lights" are clear plastic; what you are seeing as glowing bulbs is light shining through them from an ordinary light bulb inside the tree.  Mom was thrilled with hers and still displays it every year as her Xmas tree; MIL was decidedly underwhelmed. :-\ (Handcrafted items were only so much second-rate junk to her.)

"So just how do I replace one of those little lights when they burn out?" she snapped. I explained that they couldn't burn out, because they didn't have electricity going through them.  I took the tree off its base and showed her the light bulb inside.  I showed her the posts of the little lights inside, how there were no wires running to them, and explained how they are glued into the tree. DH and FIL both tried to explain.

Nope, she wasn't having any of it.  Those lights were going to burn out, I was refusing to tell her how to replace them and she'd have to just throw the whole tree away in a year or two because it wouldn't light anymore.  ::)
 
 And I guess she did, because I never saw her display it, and it wasn't in the things that we cleared out of the house when they moved to Assisted Living.

I have a smaller version of this tree (without the snow, though) that my mother made and I cherish it.  It goes out every Christmas.  My mom has two of the large ones (again, without the snow).

We have so many of the plastic bulbs (circles, birds and a few others, I think) that we have enough to last another 20 years!

MommyPenguin

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5811 on: November 21, 2012, 10:20:10 PM »
I've got one!  We were heading to visit family this week for Thanksgiving.  My husband and I have four children under 6, including a newborn.  So on our last day to pack, I'm rushing around the house, trying to clean, pack, etc., between nursing the new baby, making food for the older kids, walking around the house wearing the baby carrier to get the baby to fall asleep, etc.  For a few hours of this, my husband was on the computer.  I asked at one point what he was doing, and he assured me that he was doing work, stuff he needed to get done before we left.  I left it at that for a while, but as we got near the end of the evening and we needed to go to bed early (we were leaving in the middle of the night) and he was still on the computer, I asked him what work he was doing and whether it absolutely had to be done before we left.

His answer?  The taxes.  You know, the taxes that are due in April, but that he filed an extension on and has been procrastinating on for the 7 months since.  The need to do them apparently became super urgent on the day we needed to pack to leave for a 2-week trip.  <sigh>
Emily is 10 years old!  1/07
Jenny is 8 years old!  10/08
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Megan is 4 years old!  10/12
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Baby Charlie expected 9/17

Pippen

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5812 on: November 21, 2012, 10:34:13 PM »
I've got one!  We were heading to visit family this week for Thanksgiving.  My husband and I have four children under 6, including a newborn.  So on our last day to pack, I'm rushing around the house, trying to clean, pack, etc., between nursing the new baby, making food for the older kids, walking around the house wearing the baby carrier to get the baby to fall asleep, etc.  For a few hours of this, my husband was on the computer.  I asked at one point what he was doing, and he assured me that he was doing work, stuff he needed to get done before we left.  I left it at that for a while, but as we got near the end of the evening and we needed to go to bed early (we were leaving in the middle of the night) and he was still on the computer, I asked him what work he was doing and whether it absolutely had to be done before we left.

His answer?  The taxes.  You know, the taxes that are due in April, but that he filed an extension on and has been procrastinating on for the 7 months since.  The need to do them apparently became super urgent on the day we needed to pack to leave for a 2-week trip.  <sigh>

At which point you walk out of the room and compose yourself.

HappilyInsane

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5813 on: November 21, 2012, 11:22:08 PM »
All the mail delivery ones have reminded me of the mail system in a small town near us where I worked and lived for a time. This is a very small and rural town and their postal carriers refused to deliver by address. They would only deliver by name. When we lived with my grandparents for a few months, she had to leave a note in the mailbox telling them to leave our mail there or the carrier would send it back 'addressee unknown' without even checking with the residents.

My job in that town was for a small family owned chain of grocery stores. There were only 6 stores in 3 adjacent towns. Part of my job was filling out form letters and mailing them to people we had gotten returned checks on. I answered the phone one day to a lady that was absolutely furious that I had sent this letter, as she had never written us a check. Checking my records, I couldn't find her name. After a bit of questioning, she finally admitted that the postman had not been able to decipher the last name on the envelope and neither had she when he asked her to look at it, so he had her go ahead and open it.  :o. I asked the lady if it had her house number on it and she said it did not. I informed her that she had just violated federal law by opening someone else's mail. I then clocked out and drove the 3 blocks to the tiny post office and had a meeting with the Postmaster and informed him that I would be reporting his office for their policies, because they had just instructed a customer to violate federal law and given a woman confidential information about one of her neighbors. I also pointed out, that the entire point of having street addresses was FOR the postal system and just how idiotic it was of them to refuse to use them. Thankfully, they wised up and made some changes to their system.

Iris

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5814 on: November 21, 2012, 11:38:09 PM »
I didn't appreciate Great Grandma's gifts when I was a child.

Wasn't really my fault; I mean, what 6-year-old is going to appreciate hand knit slippers, beyond "Oh I'll wear these around the house, they're great for slip sliding." Well, GG died when I was 6, my last Christmas present from her was a green and red scarf. I used it through the years but it wasn't a "favorite thing". My sister was given a blue and pink scarf. Somehow through the years I ended up with both scarfs; my sister never did like hers. They hang next to my front door to be used by me/the kids/DH as needed. They have really held up! I've been careful about spot washing and avoiding the dryer.

Recently (last week) 7-year-old Jean and I read a book about a little girl getting an afghan handed down, that her GG had given her grandmother. It was then I told Jean that the scarves by the door were made by my GG, her GGG, and someday she would get one and her brother would get one.  I have never seen a 7 year old so excited about a homemade yarn gift before. It's precious. I wish GG could see how happy Jean is, I am certain it would negate the lack of enthusiasm I had as a tot.

That story is so sweet. Thanks for sharing.
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

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LB

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5815 on: November 22, 2012, 04:29:41 AM »
http://notalwaysright.com/?p=25149
My head hurts and my faith in humanity is destroyed.
At the end, when the pregnant ditz says, "You just lost a patient ..."  The doctor was probably thinking, "It's not professional to celebrate this good news." Bonus points if he waited for her to leave before doing his happy dance. >:D

I am actually more disturbed that another patient heard this entire discussion.

I find myself doubting the majority of stories I read on that site. So many times the written conversations seem slanted or ex ageratted. In this one, for example, how did the writer know the exact age of the other patient? Its not mentioned in the conversation, and its not likely that anyone in the doctors office would tell her if she asked.

And I find it strange that a doctor would not take a patient to his office or an exam room to tell her she may be pregnant.

parrot_girl

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5816 on: November 22, 2012, 04:44:23 AM »
http://notalwaysright.com/?p=25149
My head hurts and my faith in humanity is destroyed.
At the end, when the pregnant ditz says, "You just lost a patient ..."  The doctor was probably thinking, "It's not professional to celebrate this good news." Bonus points if he waited for her to leave before doing his happy dance. >:D

I am actually more disturbed that another patient heard this entire discussion.

I find myself doubting the majority of stories I read on that site. So many times the written conversations seem slanted or ex ageratted. In this one, for example, how did the writer know the exact age of the other patient? Its not mentioned in the conversation, and its not likely that anyone in the doctors office would tell her if she asked.

And I find it strange that a doctor would not take a patient to his office or an exam room to tell her she may be pregnant.
I do wonder about some of the stories on that site, agreed. However, I can vouch for the verity of this one- it happened to me and I sent it in, and it's word for word accurate!
(and, it fits in with the theme of this thread, which is a bonus!)
http://notalwaysright.com/an-offering-to-the-literary-gods/2093

I never did find out why she was in such a bad mood, but we found the book she was after.

kherbert05

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5817 on: November 22, 2012, 04:51:18 AM »
http://notalwaysright.com/?p=25149
My head hurts and my faith in humanity is destroyed.
At the end, when the pregnant ditz says, "You just lost a patient ..."  The doctor was probably thinking, "It's not professional to celebrate this good news." Bonus points if he waited for her to leave before doing his happy dance. >:D

I am actually more disturbed that another patient heard this entire discussion.

I find myself doubting the majority of stories I read on that site. So many times the written conversations seem slanted or ex ageratted. In this one, for example, how did the writer know the exact age of the other patient? Its not mentioned in the conversation, and its not likely that anyone in the doctors office would tell her if she asked.

And I find it strange that a doctor would not take a patient to his office or an exam room to tell her she may be pregnant.
I also think stories on that site at minium stretch the truth for a good story. That said - nowhere in that particular story does it say this exchange happened in a public space. I have overheard more than one private conversation in a doctor's office or ER that happened behind closed doors. Raised voices or the fact I had been given epi and that gives me super human hearing were the reasons I overheard the conversation.

(Once in the ER I thanked the nurse for calling in a sane doctor and the sane doctor for ripping the head off the idiot that first "treated me" by telling me you can't have an allergic reaction by touching peanuts. They were amazed when I recited back their conversations - that had happened behind closed doors on the other side of a small ER.
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BB-VA

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5818 on: November 22, 2012, 07:34:34 AM »
^I have also heard my doctor discussing patient information (with the patient) when I was in one examining room with the door shut, and they were in a different one with the door shut.  I don't remember any of it - maybe that is what the doctor is counting on - but the walls and doors, although solid, were not the thickest, and their voices did carry.
"The Universe puts us in places where we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are right. Wherever we are, it's the right place and the right time. Pain that sometimes comes is part of the process of constantly being born."
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travestine

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5819 on: November 23, 2012, 05:57:03 PM »
This will be the first year in many years I won't be making handmade gifts for anyone. The last of the people who appreciated them have passed and I'm not making anything for people who don't appreciate the time and effort it takes to paint, stitch, can or craft a handmade item. One year, when I was unemployed and couldn't afford much, I handpainted Christmas cards for all the really special people or families in my life - two dozen cards. Not one person commented on the effort it must have taken to handpaint and personalize a Christmas card - and a couple of those people are artists themselves. I've needlepointed Christmas ornaments that I notice are no longer displayed on Christmas trees (my tree only has handmade or handcrafted ornaments that were gifted to me over the years), I've needlepointed artwork that disappeared into closets after opening, I've canned, I've made personalized crafts - all these in addition to purchased gifts. The handmade items were never acknowledged, but I wanted to do them anyway - I guess because the handmade things that I've received have always meant a lot to me.

This year, now that the last of those who really appreciated anything handmade is gone, I'm stopping my urge to think of what I'm going to make this year. I'll find another use for my time.

I think it is also important to remember that just because it is homemade doesn't mean it will be someone's style. I really don't care if something is storebought or homemade - if I like it I like it and that is all that matters. But I am not a needlepoint type of person so it would have to be something I really really like before I would display it on my wall - whether you made it or bought it. It's not a reflection on you or how much I value you. It's not a reflection that I don't l like any handcrafted things. It just means I don't like that particular type of object. I think it is really important to make sure that the person you are giving something to would appreciate something like that before making it. Personally I think if i spend hours  making something and the person just quietly disposed of it I would be hurt - so I understand that reaction.  So double check they like that kind of thing before starting.

Wolfie, I agree. I would be hurt if somebody didn't like a present that I put a lot of effort in to. I also usually give handmade gifts but there are people in my life who don't like jams and jellies or candles so I find something else to give them. My sister makes and sells extraordinary quilts and wall hangings but one of our grandmothers really doesn't care for quilts so sis has never given her one.

I guess the difference is the appreciation shown between people who appreciate those who make things and people who don't. Because I know the time and effort it takes to concieve of, collect materials and then complete a handcrafted item (whether a painting, handicraft, cooked item, etc.), I express my appreciation for the time, effort and thought, even if the item isn't to my taste. What has upset me in the past is the lack of either acknowledgement of the gift perior or that the gift took any more effort that if I had gone to the store and slapped down a few dollars. THAT'S the main reason why I don't feel inclined to make the effort any longer. I can totally accept if an item isn't to someone's taste (although I do try to make sure I match the gift with the person), but I have a hard time with the gift not being acknowledged.  In fact, I'd be just as happy if they gave it back - after all, people return gifts to shops if they don't like them, right?
"A "no" uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a "yes" merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble."
 — Mahatma Ghandi



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