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Author Topic: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt  (Read 2417416 times)

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Slartibartfast

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5925 on: November 30, 2012, 06:13:56 PM »
An old brain hurt from the early years of the Pirate marriage.  DH served in the Marines for 5 years and in 2000, he and I got married and as soon as we could, went on base with our marriage certificate to get my dependent ID card that would be needed anytime I came onto the base or shopped in the exchange, or at the hospital for appointments. 

Well we decided to use a local bank that was off base and went there armed with money to start up the account, ID's, both military and driver's licenses, and other assorted paperwork, but not our marriage license because it wasn't indicated on the website that we would need it to start up an account.  This was also a bank that worked closely with the military branches.

Okay so we get there and the woman says "I'm going to see your marriage license to verify that she is married to you." I hold up my dependent ID card, as you couldn't get one unless you were either the spouse or child of someone in the service.  And to prove you were a spouse, you had to show your license as proof.   This wasn't good enough, and we pointed out that we didn't know. 

We go back home, grab it then come back out to the branch and things went alright but that just broke my brain.  A bank that works with military members ought to be familiar enough with their rules to know that if a woman shows a dependent ID card that says "Spouse" on it, they are most definitely married because there was a marriage license to prove that. 

We found out months later, when said woman disappeared, that she'd been fired for making people jump through hoops she knew were unnecessary.

To be fair, possessing an ID card saying "spouse" just means that you were married at the time you got the card.  Not that a marriage license would be any different  :P

kherbert05

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5926 on: November 30, 2012, 06:38:39 PM »
Pre 9/11
I was living in San Angelo. I found a kids wallet with a military dependent ID I tried to find the last name in the phone book. No go. So I called Goodfellow AFB, and told them I had found the wallet was there a way I could turn it in to them. Sure come to the base.


1. The gate guard didn't want to let me in
2. The people in the office I was directed to treated me like I was suspected of mugging the kid. I was questioned about how I found the wallet. I lived near a play ground. I walked past it found saw the wallet on the ground. Well why did you pick it up? Because I lost wallets and stuff like no body's business as a kid, and thought I would return it. Well when you couldn't find an address, why didn't you just toss it? Because there was a military ID with a name I didn't think you wanted it floating around.


I understood they were on heighten security because a enlisted woman had been kidnapped and murdered by a civilian worker from the base. Still I was treated like a felon for trying to do the right thing.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

sunnygirl

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5927 on: November 30, 2012, 07:08:04 PM »
When I was a kid my rabbit got killed by a fox, which was obviously a horrible thing to discover, and when I tried calling my dad and the secretary wouldn't put me through because she couldn't know I wasn't a cold caller. Because cold callers totally sound like crying children, right?  >:(

gramma dishes

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5928 on: November 30, 2012, 07:10:26 PM »
When I was a kid my rabbit got killed by a fox, which was obviously a horrible thing to discover, and when I tried calling my dad and the secretary wouldn't put me through because she couldn't know I wasn't a cold caller. Because cold callers totally sound like crying children, right?  >:(

Ummmmm ... I certainly hope your Dad had a little discussion with her about that.  Even sobbing hysterical child cold callers don't usually ask for Daddy! :-\

Iris

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5929 on: November 30, 2012, 07:29:52 PM »
When I was a kid my rabbit got killed by a fox, which was obviously a horrible thing to discover, and when I tried calling my dad and the secretary wouldn't put me through because she couldn't know I wasn't a cold caller. Because cold callers totally sound like crying children, right?  >:(

Ummmmm ... I certainly hope your Dad had a little discussion with her about that.  Even sobbing hysterical child cold callers don't usually ask for Daddy! :-\

Also, it's a *phone*. That argument could go for anyone at all. His wife, the CEO of the company, the police, anyone. Did she never let him talk to anyone who called on an outside line?

Sorry about your bunny. I hope you got Daddy hugs eventually :(
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

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Elfmama

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5930 on: November 30, 2012, 09:03:17 PM »
When I was a kid my rabbit got killed by a fox, which was obviously a horrible thing to discover, and when I tried calling my dad and the secretary wouldn't put me through because she couldn't know I wasn't a cold caller. Because cold callers totally sound like crying children, right?  >:(

Ummmmm ... I certainly hope your Dad had a little discussion with her about that.  Even sobbing hysterical child cold callers don't usually ask for Daddy! :-\
When we were stationed in Alaska one of DH's coworkers went home at the end of the shift and found out that his 8-year-old daughter had dislocated her shoulder FIVE HOURS earlier.  The base hospital couldn't treat her without a parent's OK, and the Airman Basic who was tasked with answering phones in their Operations area refused to take the calls of the teenage daughter who was watching the younger kids.  He told her to go play and stop bothering their father at work. Poor kid.  :o   And because it was a secure area, the teen couldn't go there in person. 

For some reason the mother wasn't available either, but I don't know why the hospital personnel didn't try.  Surely they'd respond to "This is Doctor Smith.  I need to get Sergeant Jones to the hospital; one of his kids is here in the ER with a dislocated arm." Maybe they did and Airman Idiot blew them off too.
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5931 on: November 30, 2012, 09:07:46 PM »
An old brain hurt from the early years of the Pirate marriage.  DH served in the Marines for 5 years and in 2000, he and I got married and as soon as we could, went on base with our marriage certificate to get my dependent ID card that would be needed anytime I came onto the base or shopped in the exchange, or at the hospital for appointments. 

Well we decided to use a local bank that was off base and went there armed with money to start up the account, ID's, both military and driver's licenses, and other assorted paperwork, but not our marriage license because it wasn't indicated on the website that we would need it to start up an account.  This was also a bank that worked closely with the military branches.

Okay so we get there and the woman says "I'm going to see your marriage license to verify that she is married to you." I hold up my dependent ID card, as you couldn't get one unless you were either the spouse or child of someone in the service.  And to prove you were a spouse, you had to show your license as proof.   This wasn't good enough, and we pointed out that we didn't know. 

We go back home, grab it then come back out to the branch and things went alright but that just broke my brain.  A bank that works with military members ought to be familiar enough with their rules to know that if a woman shows a dependent ID card that says "Spouse" on it, they are most definitely married because there was a marriage license to prove that. 

We found out months later, when said woman disappeared, that she'd been fired for making people jump through hoops she knew were unnecessary.

To be fair, possessing an ID card saying "spouse" just means that you were married at the time you got the card.  Not that a marriage license would be any different  :P

True enough, but the irritating thing was when we found out she was just trying to make us jump through unnecessary hoops.  >:(
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Elfmama

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5932 on: November 30, 2012, 10:58:41 PM »
An old brain hurt from the early years of the Pirate marriage.  DH served in the Marines for 5 years and in 2000, he and I got married and as soon as we could, went on base with our marriage certificate to get my dependent ID card that would be needed anytime I came onto the base or shopped in the exchange, or at the hospital for appointments. 

Well we decided to use a local bank that was off base and went there armed with money to start up the account, ID's, both military and driver's licenses, and other assorted paperwork, but not our marriage license because it wasn't indicated on the website that we would need it to start up an account.  This was also a bank that worked closely with the military branches.

Okay so we get there and the woman says "I'm going to see your marriage license to verify that she is married to you." I hold up my dependent ID card, as you couldn't get one unless you were either the spouse or child of someone in the service.  And to prove you were a spouse, you had to show your license as proof.   This wasn't good enough, and we pointed out that we didn't know. 

We go back home, grab it then come back out to the branch and things went alright but that just broke my brain.  A bank that works with military members ought to be familiar enough with their rules to know that if a woman shows a dependent ID card that says "Spouse" on it, they are most definitely married because there was a marriage license to prove that. 

We found out months later, when said woman disappeared, that she'd been fired for making people jump through hoops she knew were unnecessary.

To be fair, possessing an ID card saying "spouse" just means that you were married at the time you got the card.  Not that a marriage license would be any different  :P

True enough, but the irritating thing was when we found out she was just trying to make us jump through unnecessary hoops.  >:(
I just hope I never need to produce my original marriage certificate. :(  I know exactly where it is, but I can't get to it.

DD#2 was born in Italy.  In order to register her birth as an American citizen, we had to send a bunch of paperwork to the US Consulate in Naples, including (and this was specified) our original marriage certificate.  Not a certified copy, but the original.   

In due course, we got back her Certificate of Birth Abroad of an American Citizen.  But no marriage certificate.  Instead we got back a note saying "Since this is clearly a copy, we are keeping it for our records." ::)

We wrote back, more than once. Never got an answer.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5933 on: December 01, 2012, 07:38:10 AM »
Oh brother!  We have somehow lost our marriage license in the move from California to Maryland but it hasn't really come up that we needed it and we keep forgetting to order a new one from the courthouse we got it from.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

jane7166

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5934 on: December 01, 2012, 01:34:31 PM »
Oh brother!  We have somehow lost our marriage license in the move from California to Maryland but it hasn't really come up that we needed it and we keep forgetting to order a new one from the courthouse we got it from.
Eventually, someone might need it.  It was necessary for me to find my parents' marriage license after my dad passed away to get my mom's spousal pension benefits started.  What made my brain hurt:  Mom had dementia and "refiled" many things, the company that Dad worked for and retired from didn't have a record of their 60+ year marriage (never mind that they had her listed as a dependent for health insurance) and they didn't have an electronic record of his choice to provide spousal pension benefits.  They had to "research" it.  I found all the records eventually that my parents needed but the company still took forever to start paying.

jane7166

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5935 on: December 01, 2012, 01:41:23 PM »
Major brain hurt with this Dear Prudie letter, "Should I tell my infertile Asian wife that I want all-white babies?"

SERIOUSLY?  I hope this guy has some seriously amazing redeeming qualities, or he's not going to be married for long  :-\

Why in the blazing heck did he marry her in the first place? Poor woman. What would he have done if she'd been able to conceive the old-fashioned way?

Now, I know that in the US, most Asian / Caucasian marriages are based on romance, etc. - my brother, who is white, is married to a Chinese - American woman and they have a drop-dead handsome son - but the LW in the Prudie letter sounds like he married mail-order to me.  I'm just wondering. 

dawnfire

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5936 on: December 01, 2012, 06:10:18 PM »
Major brain hurt with this Dear Prudie letter, "Should I tell my infertile Asian wife that I want all-white babies?"

SERIOUSLY?  I hope this guy has some seriously amazing redeeming qualities, or he's not going to be married for long  :-\

I would have hated to see if his wife was fertile. From my experience being Chinese/Caucasian the Asian genes tend to be stronger than the Caucasian genes.
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gramma dishes

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5937 on: December 01, 2012, 06:29:36 PM »
Major brain hurt with this Dear Prudie letter, "Should I tell my infertile Asian wife that I want all-white babies?"

SERIOUSLY?  I hope this guy has some seriously amazing redeeming qualities, or he's not going to be married for long  :-\

I would have hated to see if his wife was fertile. From my experience being Chinese/Caucasian the Asian genes tend to be stronger than the Caucasian genes.

It bothers me almost as much that he refers to his wife as "infertile Asian wife" as it does his preference for all white children.  Why couldn't he have just said "My Asian wife and I are planning to adopt and ...".  The whole reference to her being infertile as the first adjective describing her is just as disgusting and disrespectful as the rest of it. 

I wonder how he would feel if their situation were reversed and she wrote a letter in which she referred to him as her "infertile pasty white husband".  She was "okay" with his whiteness, but really would prefer adopting Asian looking children who would look like her and her family.

Grancalla

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5938 on: December 02, 2012, 12:00:25 AM »
My brain is still hurting from our team meeting on Friday... To keep things anonymous (and because it's funnier), I'm using an analogy. Say we're in charge of designing an ice cream scoop. It involves a co-worker who is a nice guy, but dense as granite, so I'll call him Granite.

Alice: "Here's the design for the new ice cream scoop!"
Granite: "What if the user wants sprinkles?"
Alice: "That's the sprinkle dispenser's job. That's being built by the sprinkles team, not the scoop team."
Granite: "But it's possible for a cone to have sprinkles."
Bob: "Yes, but that's not the scoop's job. Our job is to get the ice cream from the bucket to the cone, that's all."
Granite: "I think the scoop should be able to scoop ice cream with and without sprinkles."
Bob: "The sprinkles come after the scoop. If they want sprinkles, they'll need to go to the sprinkles dispenser AFTER they finish with the scoop."
Granite: "We need to implement fancy-shiny-buzzword, since the scoop doesn't know what type of topping the ice cream it's scooping will have."
Me: "Yes, it does. At this point, there's only one type of ice cream. It only scoops ice cream without toppings. Toppings are added later."
Granite: "But there's still multiple types of ice cream."
Me: "Not as far as the scoop is concerned. It scoops untopped ice cream only."
Granite: "...I still think we need to take the possibility of sprinkles into account."

And that, Your Honor, was when I shot him. Not really, but I think at least half the group with about ready to strangle poor Granite. The meeting was only supposed to be half an hour, but went on more than an hour because we kept arguing in circles.
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greencat

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #5939 on: December 02, 2012, 12:10:43 AM »
Sometimes someone needs to stop people like that and say, "Granite, given what you're saying, you don't have a clear understanding of the situation.  I'll be happy to go over this with you after the meeting, but we need to move on now."


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