Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[Ceallach]

DH and I recently bought a new (to us!) second-hand car.  This is fairly significant because since moving to our current city 4 years ago we've lived car-free, using bicycles and public transport.  It's been fun, but we made the lifestyle choice that we want to have a vehicle again.  The car we got is fantastic - very small and compact for city use, fairly economical to run, but also has a powerful engine so suits DH's mechanically minded sensibilities.   

DH took the new car around to show my brother and sister-in-law.   My SIL simply could not get her head around why we'd bought such a small car.      "That trunk is so tiny, how will you fit your groceries in it?"    was just one of the many concerns she kept expressing.   

She didn't seem to understand that we've managed just fine for 4 years with no car, and that ANY car is going to significantly improve the convenience of shopping etc!  Nothing DH said could convince her that the car is exactly what we want and will make our lives much better!    (Incidentally, the grocery store is less than 5 minutes WALK from our house.  We either walk down or if we need a big shop then we order online and get free delivery.  Really the car makes little difference to that!)   Sure, if we want to buy a giant piece of furniture or similar then we'd probably have trouble transporting it, but that applies to most cars!   We've since been around in circles a few times with SIL, but she still doesn't seem to get it.  Our lifestyles are just very different, clearly!     We are having a baby in the new year which is potentially impacting on her perspective, but again, having a car can only make things easier for that, we don't need to go from no car to a giant people mover just because of a new baby!!!   We have no need or desire to own one of those gigantic tank-sized strollers anyway, so the fact I can't fit one in the car won't be an issue...  there really is more than enough room for the baby and any other paraphenalia - it's not as if we got a 2 seater sports car!

[Adelaide]

Today I got in line behind three heavily-made up teenagers at Target. (Expensive bags, foundation so thick you could frost a cake with it, all in tight leggings and short shirts, all in Uggs.) For some reason, they all decided to turn fully around and stare at me. Full-on staring. I don't know why. I was wearing jeans, tennis shoes, and a black hoodie that said "My Hometown Martial Arts: Krav Maga Division" on it. They just kept looking at me so eventually I got tired of politely avoiding eye contact and I just stared right back at them. After a few seconds of that, I reached over and grabbed a refill of those Gillette Pro-Glide razor blades (yes, for men. The razors they make for women are of much poorer quality than men's razors.) One of the teenage girls apparently found this hilarious and almost immediately started smirking and making facial expressions like she was trying to hold back laughter. Soon they all caught the silent giggles and turned back around to finish their purchases. It was honestly the weirdest "exchange" with people I've ever had.  I actually went back to my car to see if my hair was totally messed up or my fly was down. Nope, nothing.

[MommyPenguin]

Maybe they were playing with you, trying to see how you'd react?  That's the first thing that comes to mind for me.

[lady_disdain]

Today I got in line behind three heavily-made up teenagers at Target. (Expensive bags, foundation so thick you could frost a cake with it, all in tight leggings and short shirts, all in Uggs.) For some reason, they all decided to turn fully around and stare at me. Full-on staring. I don't know why. I was wearing jeans, tennis shoes, and a black hoodie that said "My Hometown Martial Arts: Krav Maga Division" on it. They just kept looking at me so eventually I got tired of politely avoiding eye contact and I just stared right back at them. After a few seconds of that, I reached over and grabbed a refill of those Gillette Pro-Glide razor blades (yes, for men. The razors they make for women are of much poorer quality than men's razors.) One of the teenage girls apparently found this hilarious and almost immediately started smirking and making facial expressions like she was trying to hold back laughter. Soon they all caught the silent giggles and turned back around to finish their purchases. It was honestly the weirdest "exchange" with people I've ever had.  I actually went back to my car to see if my hair was totally messed up or my fly was down. Nope, nothing.

Teenage mean girl game. Stare at a complete stranger like they were a roach and laugh at anything the stranger does. Disgusting.

[Reika]

Today I got in line behind three heavily-made up teenagers at Target. (Expensive bags, foundation so thick you could frost a cake with it, all in tight leggings and short shirts, all in Uggs.) For some reason, they all decided to turn fully around and stare at me. Full-on staring. I don't know why. I was wearing jeans, tennis shoes, and a black hoodie that said "My Hometown Martial Arts: Krav Maga Division" on it. They just kept looking at me so eventually I got tired of politely avoiding eye contact and I just stared right back at them. After a few seconds of that, I reached over and grabbed a refill of those Gillette Pro-Glide razor blades (yes, for men. The razors they make for women are of much poorer quality than men's razors.) One of the teenage girls apparently found this hilarious and almost immediately started smirking and making facial expressions like she was trying to hold back laughter. Soon they all caught the silent giggles and turned back around to finish their purchases. It was honestly the weirdest "exchange" with people I've ever had.  I actually went back to my car to see if my hair was totally messed up or my fly was down. Nope, nothing.

Teenage mean girl game. Stare at a complete stranger like they were a roach and laugh at anything the stranger does. Disgusting.

I actually had a pair of grown women (they looked to be around my age at the time, late 20's) who pulled something similar on me in a restroom at a mall of all places. They were primping and preening at the sinks, hogging up the entire space. I'd just finished using the toilet and just wanted to wash my hands. I asked them nicely if I could use one of the sinks. After much eyerolling and silent huffing, they moved over so I could finally wash my hands. They then proceeded to do the staring and smirking nonsense at me.

 I probably threw myself into ehell though when I arched one eyebrow at them a la Spock and matter of factly said, "Since you don't appear to be highschool age anymore, you may want to actually try to act your age."

No idea what their reaction was since I just went on my way and had no desire to stick around to deal with their foolishness anymore. And yes, I know I shouldn't have engaged, but seeing two, supposedly grown, women acting almost 10-12 years younger just really irritated the snot out of me.

[Nikko-chan]

Okay guys... I finally have a good one for you.

Mom went out shopping the other day, and told me to get a pizza for dinner from LocalPizzaPlace. Right next to LPP is a gas station, and mom wanted me to get her some cigarettes. I go in, hand my ID to the fellow as I ask for the cigarettes. He looks at it in disbelief.

Me: Yeah.. heh. I know I don't look it but believe it or not I am 24.
Him: Where do you live?
Me: *bean-dipping, as I do not want this guy to know my address* *hands him my mom's card to pay for cigarettes I am so flustered*
Him: Where do you live?
Me: Oh you know, around.
Him: Around here?
Me: Mmm hmm. *grabs the cigarettes off the counter after he has rung them up*
Him: Where do you live?
Me: *by now very creeped out* May I have my card back please?
Him: *reluctantly hands me my mothers card back*

It was the creepiest thing ever. Later I realized he didn't think the ID was actually ME (I used to have long hair, but i have since cut it) and he was trying to verify my identity. It would have been a lot easier and less creepier had he worded it in some other fashion, like 'What is your address' 'where do you live' to me from someone I don't know sounds a bit... stalkerish? And you know, he could have just asked me my birthdate which would have been harder to memorize anyway
-_-

[AustenFan]

I think you were the brain hurty one there, sorry Nikko-chan.

Everything he did (ID verification) sounds like the typical exchange when someone who looks underage attempts to buy cigarettes/alcohol. You're the one who didn't handle the transaction properly.

Your issues with the way he asked you and the fact that he asked for address rather than date of birth come across as trying to justify your odd behaviour.

[Nikko-chan]

It was brainhurty to me because I didn't know what he was asking! Not to mention I am a little extra aware now after something very... disturbing... happened to a friend in the neighborhood.

the way he said it was odd... the tone of his voice... it actually set off my hinky meter and after I went next door to the pizza place I actually went to my friends house to calm down for a moment.

Though I will agree it was probably brainhurty to him too, after I realized what the heck he was wanting. (Realized it after I got home). But as I said. to me "where do you live" and "What is your address" gets two different responses. Depending on who you are "where do you live" gets either "In TownName" "In PlaceName (the apartments or whatever)" or the third if I really really don't even want you to know the town I live in "Oh you know, around."

On the other hand if you are someone checking my I.D. or something like that "What is your address" will prompt me to tell you my address.

If he would have reworded it, I might have realized what he was asking.

[gramma dishes]

I think you were the brain hurty one there, sorry Nikko-chan.

Everything he did (ID verification) sounds like the typical exchange when someone who looks underage attempts to buy cigarettes/alcohol. You're the one who didn't handle the transaction properly.

Your issues with the way he asked you and the fact that he asked for address rather than date of birth come across as trying to justify your odd behaviour.

I get the feeling that Nikko-chan wasn't very experienced in purchasing cigarettes and really could not have known the normal protocol involved in IDing someone.   I think she can be forgiven for feeling a little creeped out by this guy.  I know he had to ask to keep his place of business from losing their license for selling to someone underage, but he did word it kind of peculiarly and we also don't have the benefit of seeing his facial expression, body posture and tone of voice.  Those things might have made a difference in her perception of the situation too.

[HorseFreak]

Okay guys... I finally have a good one for you.

Mom went out shopping the other day, and told me to get a pizza for dinner from LocalPizzaPlace. Right next to LPP is a gas station, and mom wanted me to get her some cigarettes. I go in, hand my ID to the fellow as I ask for the cigarettes. He looks at it in disbelief.

Me: Yeah.. heh. I know I don't look it but believe it or not I am 24.
Him: Where do you live?
Me: *bean-dipping, as I do not want this guy to know my address* *hands him my mom's card to pay for cigarettes I am so flustered*
Him: Where do you live?
Me: Oh you know, around.
Him: Around here?
Me: Mmm hmm. *grabs the cigarettes off the counter after he has rung them up*
Him: Where do you live?
Me: *by now very creeped out* May I have my card back please?
Him: *reluctantly hands me my mothers card back*

It was the creepiest thing ever. Later I realized he didn't think the ID was actually ME (I used to have long hair, but i have since cut it) and he was trying to verify my identity. It would have been a lot easier and less creepier had he worded it in some other fashion, like 'What is your address' 'where do you live' to me from someone I don't know sounds a bit... stalkerish? And you know, he could have just asked me my birthdate which would have been harder to memorize anyway
-_-

Isn't your address printed on your ID?

[SleepyKitty]

I think you were the brain hurty one there, sorry Nikko-chan.

Everything he did (ID verification) sounds like the typical exchange when someone who looks underage attempts to buy cigarettes/alcohol. You're the one who didn't handle the transaction properly.

Your issues with the way he asked you and the fact that he asked for address rather than date of birth come across as trying to justify your odd behaviour.

I don't know - when I worked at a gas station, I would never have just demanded "Where do you live" multiple times. I would have said, "Can you verify your address and date of birth?" Not only that, but he kept asking her the question after ringing up the cigarettes and putting them on the counter. That doesn't sound at all like he was trying to verify the ID to me. It doesn't sound typical, it sounds creepy.

[gramma dishes]

He may have been confused and a little concerned that the name on her ID and the name on the Mom's credit card were not the same.

[mmswm]

I think you were the brain hurty one there, sorry Nikko-chan.

Everything he did (ID verification) sounds like the typical exchange when someone who looks underage attempts to buy cigarettes/alcohol. You're the one who didn't handle the transaction properly.

Your issues with the way he asked you and the fact that he asked for address rather than date of birth come across as trying to justify your odd behaviour.

I don't know - when I worked at a gas station, I would never have just demanded "Where do you live" multiple times. I would have said, "Can you verify your address and date of birth?" Not only that, but he kept asking her the question after ringing up the cigarettes and putting them on the counter. That doesn't sound at all like he was trying to verify the ID to me. It doesn't sound typical, it sounds creepy.

I agree with Sleepykitty here.  I smoked for 20 years and I would have been very put off by the wording of the clerk's question.  I've been asked many times to "verify my address and date of birth", with that exact phrasing and never gave it a second thought, but "where do you live" would have caused all kinds of red flags to go up in my brain.

[NyaChan]

I wonder if he used that phrasing to catch her off guard so that she "reveals" her true address/house rather than the one on the supposed fake ID.  Obviously backfired, but its a possibility, especially since the name on the ID and the credit card didn't match.

[Shalamar]

Nikko-Chan's story reminded me of when local stores started asking customers for their phone numbers so that they could bring up the customer's account.   At first, store clerks just said "What's your phone number?", which got a double-take from the customer, especially if it was from an attractive clerk.    Now, the clerks say "Do you have a phone number registered with us?" or "May I have your phone number, please?"