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Author Topic: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt  (Read 2414940 times)

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mmswm

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6045 on: December 09, 2012, 02:53:39 PM »
I think you were the brain hurty one there, sorry Nikko-chan.

Everything he did (ID verification) sounds like the typical exchange when someone who looks underage attempts to buy cigarettes/alcohol. You're the one who didn't handle the transaction properly.

Your issues with the way he asked you and the fact that he asked for address rather than date of birth come across as trying to justify your odd behaviour.

I don't know - when I worked at a gas station, I would never have just demanded "Where do you live" multiple times. I would have said, "Can you verify your address and date of birth?" Not only that, but he kept asking her the question after ringing up the cigarettes and putting them on the counter. That doesn't sound at all like he was trying to verify the ID to me. It doesn't sound typical, it sounds creepy.

I agree with Sleepykitty here.  I smoked for 20 years and I would have been very put off by the wording of the clerk's question.  I've been asked many times to "verify my address and date of birth", with that exact phrasing and never gave it a second thought, but "where do you live" would have caused all kinds of red flags to go up in my brain.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

NyaChan

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6046 on: December 09, 2012, 03:14:45 PM »
I wonder if he used that phrasing to catch her off guard so that she "reveals" her true address/house rather than the one on the supposed fake ID.  Obviously backfired, but its a possibility, especially since the name on the ID and the credit card didn't match.

RegionMom

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6047 on: December 09, 2012, 03:21:59 PM »
Yeah, and that he still asked after closing the sale, and I would be creeped, also.

My brain hurty-
DD is a dancer in a Christmas play at church.  Week One in choir only, Week Two is invited music group, and Week Three is the full production with kids' choir, dancers, real baby playing Jesus, drama, etc...

The rehearsal schedule has been hit or miss, but I have color-coded my family on an on-line calendar, and each year I realize it is crazy (something with artistic people often being hard to pin down!)  but this year...

Our church has branched out to a starter church, and we have heard for weeks how our choir will be going there to sing for Week Two, and the invites music group will perform at the main campus.

At bedtime (past 10pm) Sat night, DD asked, "how am I getting to starter church for dance?"
"Ummm...there have been zero e-mails, calls, schedules, lists, web pages, etc... that says you are performing.  We have other obligations at main campus, and since we know nothing of call time, costume, hair, make-up, let-alone directions to starter church, you are not going!"

I checked through every scrap of information I could find regarding all the rehearsals and schedules, and e-mailed the dance director.  Her response was, "I see your point that the dancers are not listed for the off-campus performance.  It was a late addition and I asked my dancers this week if they could attend.  I assumed your DD would be there, since she did not state otherwise.  I apologize for any communication (or lack of) that may have contributed to your decision to not have Hortense participate tomorrow."

She asked a group that includes teens that cannot drive, or if they can, need a car, if they could go to a last-minute added additional performance.  Parents were not informed.  At all.

Yeah, my brain is hurty that all it would have taken was ONE e-mail even a couple of days ago and we could have made arrangements to get her there, watch her dance, see the new campus, etc...
instead,  I feel like a mean mommy ogre for not taking my child out somewhere with zero information.

Even if DD had mentioned it to me, I still would have wanted more than 2nd hand news from a 15 year old.

Extra note-
a valuable orchestra member dropped her child off today and I exclaimed, "Are you not performing in the listed 'choir and orchestra' special performance off site?"
'Nope...communication has been rather...lacking...this year..."

ouch.  So we are not the only family with brain hurts... :(



Fear is temporary...Regret is forever.

mmswm

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6048 on: December 09, 2012, 03:30:37 PM »
The discussion about ID's reminded me of a brain-hurty exchange a while back.  I'd lost my driver's licence, so I was using my passport as ID for a couple days.  I have both the full book passport and the passport card, since at the time I was travelling back and forth between the US and Canada by car quite frequently, and the cards make it much easier at the border crossing.  So, I go up to a gas station clerk to buy cigarettes and he asks for ID, and I promptly handed him the passport card.  What followed was a 10 minute debate as to whether or not this card was valid ID.  You would think that in a town 90 minutes away from the Canadian border, people would be more knowledgeable about various foreign and federal ID's, but apparently not.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Mental Magpie

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6049 on: December 09, 2012, 04:04:05 PM »
Maybe I am missing something.  I thought this through a few times and still can't figure out why the other person just couldn't get it.  The only conclusion to which I can come is that I'm missing something.

Location A: Where I'm standing with a line of people, outdoors
Location B: About 100 yards from Location A, indoors

It was very cold outside today, so to keep people from having to wait outside in the cold for too long, I was calling a set number of people at a time to come from Location B to Location A.  My line was moving along smoothly, and at no point was there no one in line.  During the course of things, one of the people complained that he had been waiting in Location B for so long and that he was about ready to lose it because of that.  When the person behind the counter asked him why he had been waiting in Location B for so long before coming to Location A, I explained that I was trying to keep people out of the cold so was only calling so many at a time.  After the last person in line left, the person behind the counter started to argue with me.

I told her that it didn't matter where they waited, Location A or Location B, they were still waiting through however many people were in front of them.  I even tried doing the math for her.  If 30 people take 2 minutes, that's an hour.  It doesn't matter if they're waiting in Location A (outside where it's cold) or Location B (inside where it's warm), it will still take an hour.  Location doesn't change time.  I could see her argument if there were big gaps between the groups, but there was never nobody in line.  Am I missing something?

katiescarlett

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6050 on: December 09, 2012, 04:51:56 PM »
Maybe I am missing something.  I thought this through a few times and still can't figure out why the other person just couldn't get it.  The only conclusion to which I can come is that I'm missing something.

Location A: Where I'm standing with a line of people, outdoors
Location B: About 100 yards from Location A, indoors

It was very cold outside today, so to keep people from having to wait outside in the cold for too long, I was calling a set number of people at a time to come from Location B to Location A.  My line was moving along smoothly, and at no point was there no one in line.  During the course of things, one of the people complained that he had been waiting in Location B for so long and that he was about ready to lose it because of that.  When the person behind the counter asked him why he had been waiting in Location B for so long before coming to Location A, I explained that I was trying to keep people out of the cold so was only calling so many at a time.  After the last person in line left, the person behind the counter started to argue with me.

I told her that it didn't matter where they waited, Location A or Location B, they were still waiting through however many people were in front of them.  I even tried doing the math for her.  If 30 people take 2 minutes, that's an hour.  It doesn't matter if they're waiting in Location A (outside where it's cold) or Location B (inside where it's warm), it will still take an hour.  Location doesn't change time.  I could see her argument if there were big gaps between the groups, but there was never nobody in line.  Am I missing something?

Nope.  You are spot on.  Other person doesn't get it.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6051 on: December 09, 2012, 05:52:01 PM »
I think you were the brain hurty one there, sorry Nikko-chan.

Everything he did (ID verification) sounds like the typical exchange when someone who looks underage attempts to buy cigarettes/alcohol. You're the one who didn't handle the transaction properly.

Your issues with the way he asked you and the fact that he asked for address rather than date of birth come across as trying to justify your odd behaviour.

I get the feeling that Nikko-chan wasn't very experienced in purchasing cigarettes and really could not have known the normal protocol involved in IDing someone.   I think she can be forgiven for feeling a little creeped out by this guy.  I know he had to ask to keep his place of business from losing their license for selling to someone underage, but he did word it kind of peculiarly and we also don't have the benefit of seeing his facial expression, body posture and tone of voice.  Those things might have made a difference in her perception of the situation too.

I have actually been buying cigarettes since I was eighteen. Just not at this particular place. Also, I don't really see how he could not tell it wasn't me on that ID. I mean, my hair is different, but in the picture it is pulled back in a ponytail so you can see my face clearly, and I still have the same glasses. I have been ID'd before, but it usually involves people looking at the ID in disbelief, back up at me, and I nod and say "yeah I know, I don't look my age. But I am 24" And they usually leave it at that because they see it is me on the ID. The way this guy reacted... it was like I was being interrogated.

RegionMom

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6052 on: December 09, 2012, 08:50:13 PM »
I sometimes were contacts. 
When I was in college, a local grocery store would take personal checks, with ID.  One normal day, I presented my ID and the clerk took the longest time l.o.o.k.i.n.g. at me.

She asked why I had glasses on me in person, but not in the photo. 
I had to remove my glasses so she could "see" it was me. 

(note, have not changed hair color ever, and style and length had not varied.  It was simply the glasses/contacts thing that was bothering her!)

Made me think about getting a blonde wig and wearing heels to make me really tall, and head off to the grocery store to see how confused the clerk would be then!   >:D

(I never did)
Fear is temporary...Regret is forever.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6053 on: December 09, 2012, 10:31:16 PM »
I sometimes were contacts. 
When I was in college, a local grocery store would take personal checks, with ID.  One normal day, I presented my ID and the clerk took the longest time l.o.o.k.i.n.g. at me.

She asked why I had glasses on me in person, but not in the photo. 
I had to remove my glasses so she could "see" it was me. 

(note, have not changed hair color ever, and style and length had not varied.  It was simply the glasses/contacts thing that was bothering her!)

Made me think about getting a blonde wig and wearing heels to make me really tall, and head off to the grocery store to see how confused the clerk would be then!   >:D

(I never did)

This actually happens to me quite often, where I am asked to take off my glasses to match my face to my ID.

Then there was the time I was buying cigarettes at age 22.  The clerk skeptically asked for my ID (I say skeptically because his tone of voice suggested that he suspected I didn't think he would ask for it) so I handed it over.  "Wow," he said, "I thought you were like 14 or 15."  I asked him why simply because I was curious.  "Well, your mohawk."  This happened a few more times over the course of the next few months, all with different people explaining it was my mohawk.  That was when I came to the conclusion that many people thought any self respecting 22 year old woman wouldn't have a mohawk  ::)

WolfWay

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6054 on: December 10, 2012, 01:58:11 AM »
Client software change request that made my head hurt.

Client insists I put in a reset button, to reset a search page back to blank. Nice idea, except there is already a reset button 5cm to the left of the main Search button on the webpage. No no, they don't use that one, but don't take it away or move it, just put another Reset button that does exactly the same thing, but is now 10cm away from the Search button, at the top of the page.

So you want me to duplicate the function of the button, but at twice the mouse scrolling distance? Ummm... okay....
<3

pixel dust

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6055 on: December 10, 2012, 09:08:17 AM »
I sometimes were contacts. 
When I was in college, a local grocery store would take personal checks, with ID.  One normal day, I presented my ID and the clerk took the longest time l.o.o.k.i.n.g. at me.

She asked why I had glasses on me in person, but not in the photo. 
I had to remove my glasses so she could "see" it was me. 

(note, have not changed hair color ever, and style and length had not varied.  It was simply the glasses/contacts thing that was bothering her!)

Made me think about getting a blonde wig and wearing heels to make me really tall, and head off to the grocery store to see how confused the clerk would be then!   >:D

(I never did)

This actually happens to me quite often, where I am asked to take off my glasses to match my face to my ID.

Then there was the time I was buying cigarettes at age 22.  The clerk skeptically asked for my ID (I say skeptically because his tone of voice suggested that he suspected I didn't think he would ask for it) so I handed it over.  "Wow," he said, "I thought you were like 14 or 15."  I asked him why simply because I was curious.  "Well, your mohawk."  This happened a few more times over the course of the next few months, all with different people explaining it was my mohawk.  That was when I came to the conclusion that many people thought any self respecting 22 year old woman wouldn't have a mohawk  ::)

I once had a bouncer at a bar ask me to smile because I was smiling in my driver's license photo. He also asked another friend to take off his glasses because he wasn't wearing them in his DL photos.

It was also Halloween in Georgetown so things were absolutely nutty and being a college town they needed to be extra vigilant to not let any under-age college kids in. So not super brain hurty but definitely threw me off for a minute.

I suppose it didn't help that I had my hair in pigtails with side bangs and lots of eye black/make-up on and in my DL photo I was sans make-up and my hair was all pulled back. (I was Roxy Richter from Scott Pilgrim vs the World that year: http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/3924/527653-010svw_mae_whitman_002_large.jpg)

Dindrane

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6056 on: December 10, 2012, 10:07:17 AM »
I had a couple of exchanges when DH and I went out to dinner on Saturday that I found really puzzling.

First, for a variety of reasons, a lot of the people who work as waitstaff where I live are in their late teens or early 20s. I am 27, and I'm pretty sure I look it.

At one point, I think when the waitress we had was getting me some lime for my diet coke, she said, "here you go, sweetie." It hurt my brain a little because, a) that's kind of a condescending way to address anyone who is older than about 5, and b) I'm almost positive that she was one of those servers in her early 20s. I know I don't look like a teenager, so at the very least, we were peers.

The other thing that I found really puzzling is that she asked my husband and I if we wanted separate checks or just one at the end of the meal. I can understand not wanting to assume anything about us, and I wouldn't expect her to have noticed that we were both wearing wedding rings, but it was kind of odd. We basically never get that question, because we look like a couple when we eat out. Even when we do get asked about the check, it's usually phrased more like, "Is this all one check?" rather than, "Do you want separate checks or is it together?"

It's a subtle thing, but it just reinforced the idea that she really seemed to think we were much younger than we were. Which hurt my brain because she was probably a good 5 years younger than me and a good 10 years younger than my husband!


Yvaine

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6057 on: December 10, 2012, 10:15:24 AM »
I sometimes were contacts. 
When I was in college, a local grocery store would take personal checks, with ID.  One normal day, I presented my ID and the clerk took the longest time l.o.o.k.i.n.g. at me.

She asked why I had glasses on me in person, but not in the photo. 
I had to remove my glasses so she could "see" it was me. 

(note, have not changed hair color ever, and style and length had not varied.  It was simply the glasses/contacts thing that was bothering her!)

Made me think about getting a blonde wig and wearing heels to make me really tall, and head off to the grocery store to see how confused the clerk would be then!   >:D

(I never did)

This actually happens to me quite often, where I am asked to take off my glasses to match my face to my ID.

Then there was the time I was buying cigarettes at age 22.  The clerk skeptically asked for my ID (I say skeptically because his tone of voice suggested that he suspected I didn't think he would ask for it) so I handed it over.  "Wow," he said, "I thought you were like 14 or 15."  I asked him why simply because I was curious.  "Well, your mohawk."  This happened a few more times over the course of the next few months, all with different people explaining it was my mohawk.  That was when I came to the conclusion that many people thought any self respecting 22 year old woman wouldn't have a mohawk  ::)

I once had a bouncer at a bar ask me to smile because I was smiling in my driver's license photo. He also asked another friend to take off his glasses because he wasn't wearing them in his DL photos.

It was also Halloween in Georgetown so things were absolutely nutty and being a college town they needed to be extra vigilant to not let any under-age college kids in. So not super brain hurty but definitely threw me off for a minute.

I suppose it didn't help that I had my hair in pigtails with side bangs and lots of eye black/make-up on and in my DL photo I was sans make-up and my hair was all pulled back. (I was Roxy Richter from Scott Pilgrim vs the World that year: http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/3924/527653-010svw_mae_whitman_002_large.jpg)

I kept wondering whether I was going to get a grilling, or to have to take off my wig, when I rocked up to a liquor counter in late October dressed as Bellatrix Lestrange. Especially as my ID shows me as dark blonde.  ;D But I didn't even get any weird looks. The guy had probably seen a lot of costumes that night.

laud_shy_girl

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6058 on: December 10, 2012, 11:00:53 AM »
Baby Girl has lots of lovely toys, yet she is obsessed with her bottle lid. Not the bottle with the yummy milk in it. She gets angry if the lid is on the bottle and once separate, will throw the bottle away and lavish love on the lid(i.e drool on it). she will do the most amazing contortions to get to the lid as well.

Makes my brain hurt.

She also loves (giggles her baby brain out) mirrors but she's beautiful so I understand that.  ;D
“For too long, we've assumed that there is a single template for human nature, which is why we diagnose most deviations as disorders. But the reality is that there are many different kinds of minds. And that's a very good thing.” - Jonah Lehrer

CakeBeret

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #6059 on: December 10, 2012, 11:07:19 AM »
I think this belongs here:

Not Always Right
"From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful."


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