Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[guihong]

Occasionally my DH snores at night. It doesn't usually bother me. When our son was still sleeping in our room, I would wake DH up when he started snoring. DH asked me to do this, because he didn't want to wake DS. That didn't always stop him from being annoyed at being woken up. For added information, my DH can fall asleep faster than most people can count to ten.  Kidding, obviously, but he goes out FAST.

One morning we had this exchange:

DH: Why did you wake me up last night?
Me: You were snoring.
DH: I wasn't asleep.
Me: If you weren't asleep, how could I have woken you up?
DH: I wasn't asleep. I looked at the clock, it wasn't only four minutes after we laid down.
Me: It doesn't take you that long. I promise you were asleep, and you were snoring.
DH: It's not possible for me to fall asleep that fast.
Me: It is too. Amazing to see, also. Again, how could I have woken you if you weren't asleep?
DH: You didn't need to wake me. I wasn't snoring.
Me:  If you weren't asleep, then I didn't wake you. So, we have no problem, right?
DH: (Pauses) Well, I may have been asleep, but I wasn't snoring.

So, I must have just been jealous of him sleeping and decided to wake him up for no good reason. 

I've had that same conversation with my snoring hubby! When he starts snoring, I hit him so he either rolls over onto his side, which helps, or at least wakes up a second or two and then doesn't snore for a while. He also conks out *like that* while I have insomnia and weird sleep patterns.

A few times, apparently, I've hit him for no good reason.

Him: snork, snork
I hit him lightly on the shoulder
Him: Why did you hit me? I wasn't asleep.
Me: You were snoring.
Him: No I wasn't. I wasn't even asleep!
Me: You were making the sames sounds you make when you snore.
Him: I wasn't asleep!
Me: Well, then, I'm sorry I hit you, but you were making the same dingdangity sounds you do when you sleep.
Him: I wasn't asleep!
Me: Dude, you don't have to defend yourself. Being asleep, at night, in bed isn't a character flaw.
Him: I wasn't asleep!

I thought we only passed around the same kids.  Now we're passing around the same husband? 

[Elfmama]

I've had that same conversation with my snoring hubby! When he starts snoring, I hit him so he either rolls over onto his side, which helps, or at least wakes up a second or two and then doesn't snore for a while. He also conks out *like that* while I have insomnia and weird sleep patterns.

A few times, apparently, I've hit him for no good reason.

Him: snork, snork
I hit him lightly on the shoulder
Him: Why did you hit me? I wasn't asleep.
Me: You were snoring.
Him: No I wasn't. I wasn't even asleep!
Me: You were making the sames sounds you make when you snore.
Him: I wasn't asleep!
Me: Well, then, I'm sorry I hit you, but you were making the same dingdangity sounds you do when you sleep.
Him: I wasn't asleep!
Me: Dude, you don't have to defend yourself. Being asleep, at night, in bed isn't a character flaw.
Him: I wasn't asleep!

We assume there is Asleep and Awake...but I think there is an alpha sleep phase in between where you are in half sleep.  Your brain hasn't shut down entirely and you still hear the TV or whatever, but your body has started relaxing and snoring.  I have had this exact same conversation.

Me too. It's the old: "I was watching that!" "With your eyes shut and snoring?" conversation. Apparently the Hubs can see through his own eyelids when it's a baseball game on. I do it with cooking shows though, so I can't exactly claim the high ground.

He wasn't asleep! He was inspecting the inside of his eyelids for cracks.

DH does this regularly.  You will be gratified to know that as of yesterday, his eyelids were in perfect condition!

[Piratelvr1121]

A coworker once told me her husband said he was "checking his eyelids for holes" so we've started saying that in our house too.

[Lynn2000]

Here is something that makes my brain hurt, though it's probably my own fault: when people reference the "second hand" of a clock. Do they mean:

1) The hand that counts off 60 seconds in a minute, which is usually the thinnest hand and often red?
2) The hand that counts off 60 minutes in an hour, because it's the #2 hand, the hour hand being #1 and the red hand being #3? (According to the order in which you would give the time--hours, minutes, seconds--and also a sort of importance measure.)

With all of my qualifiers on #2, I'm guessing people are usually referring to #1. But apparently at some point in time I was taught with, "What number does the first hand say? What number does the second hand say?" and now I'm screwed up for life. Thank goodness for digital. 

[Outdoor Girl]

I was taught that the short hand is called the hour hand, the longer hand is called the minute hand and the little thin hand that moves quickly around the dial is the second hand.

[Thipu1]

We always referred to the thin hand that counts off seconds as the 'sweep second hand' although, on my watch, that hand jumps rather than sweeps. 

Now that most watches and clocks are digital, the question's almost moot. After all, there are youngsters who don't understand the term 'clock-wise'. 

[RingTailedLemur]

Here is something that makes my brain hurt, though it's probably my own fault: when people reference the "second hand" of a clock. Do they mean:

1) The hand that counts off 60 seconds in a minute, which is usually the thinnest hand and often red?
2) The hand that counts off 60 minutes in an hour, because it's the #2 hand, the hour hand being #1 and the red hand being #3? (According to the order in which you would give the time--hours, minutes, seconds--and also a sort of importance measure.)

With all of my qualifiers on #2, I'm guessing people are usually referring to #1. But apparently at some point in time I was taught with, "What number does the first hand say? What number does the second hand say?" and now I'm screwed up for life. Thank goodness for digital. 

You might like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS5P6GcUC4s

[Hmmmmm]

For me the "second" hand was the hand that ticked off the seconds of a minute.  So a watch with a second hand had 3 hands, one to indicate the hour, one to indicate the minute and a third to indicate the seconds. 

But I do remember confusing it as a child and not making the connection between the second term meaining time and not second in order. 

[WillyNilly]

The second hand of a clock is the minutes hand (the long one). 

To tell time on a clock one only needs one hand, the hour hand.  At one o'clock it will be on the one.  As the hour progresses it nudges along towards the two.  You can roughly figure out how much after one it is simply by where the hour hand falls between the one and the two (only 1/4 of the way to two?  Its 1:15ish.  Just over halfway to two?  Its 1:38ish.  etc).  To be more precise in what time it is, many clocks/watches will add a second (as in not the first, but another, second one) hand.  This hand will tell you the actual minutes after the hour the first hand is.

The third hand is the one that shows the actual seconds-as-in-unit-of-time, and is often not included.

You can google image "single hand watch" for examples of what an 'hours only' handed clock/watch look like. Sun dials are also single 'hand' clocks.

[Virg]

Generally, the second hand describes the hand that counts seconds, not the second of three hands.  And as a side note, a sweep second hand is a particular type of second hand.  Sweep second hands rotate smoothly, as opposed to (normal) second hands that move in ratchet step.

Virg

[sunnygirl]

I've only ever heard 1st-hours, 2nd-minutes, 3rd-seconds, personally. Possibly a geographic difference?

I've had that same conversation with my snoring hubby! When he starts snoring, I hit him so he either rolls over onto his side, which helps, or at least wakes up a second or two and then doesn't snore for a while. He also conks out *like that* while I have insomnia and weird sleep patterns.

A few times, apparently, I've hit him for no good reason.

Him: snork, snork
I hit him lightly on the shoulder
Him: Why did you hit me? I wasn't asleep.
Me: You were snoring.
Him: No I wasn't. I wasn't even asleep!
Me: You were making the sames sounds you make when you snore.
Him: I wasn't asleep!
Me: Well, then, I'm sorry I hit you, but you were making the same dingdangity sounds you do when you sleep.
Him: I wasn't asleep!
Me: Dude, you don't have to defend yourself. Being asleep, at night, in bed isn't a character flaw.
Him: I wasn't asleep!

We assume there is Asleep and Awake...but I think there is an alpha sleep phase in between where you are in half sleep.  Your brain hasn't shut down entirely and you still hear the TV or whatever, but your body has started relaxing and snoring.  I have had this exact same conversation.

There is; it's called hypnagogia (the stage between wakefulness and sleep) or hypnopompia (the stage between sleep and wakefulness).

[PastryGoddess]

I learned that the second hand was the hand that counted the seconds in a minute. 

[Bexx27]

I learned hour hand, minute hand, and second hand. I've never heard of the first-second-third designation for clock hands and it seems needlessly confusing. Why not just call them by the unit of time so everyone knows what you're talking about?

[Lynn2000]

The second hand of a clock is the minutes hand (the long one). 

To tell time on a clock one only needs one hand, the hour hand.  At one o'clock it will be on the one.  As the hour progresses it nudges along towards the two.  You can roughly figure out how much after one it is simply by where the hour hand falls between the one and the two (only 1/4 of the way to two?  Its 1:15ish.  Just over halfway to two?  Its 1:38ish.  etc).  To be more precise in what time it is, many clocks/watches will add a second (as in not the first, but another, second one) hand.  This hand will tell you the actual minutes after the hour the first hand is.

The third hand is the one that shows the actual seconds-as-in-unit-of-time, and is often not included.

You can google image "single hand watch" for examples of what an 'hours only' handed clock/watch look like. Sun dials are also single 'hand' clocks.

Okay, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has thought about two different meanings for the "second hand"! Maybe sunnygirl is right and it's some kind of geographic distinction, but here in the Midwest we are at the intersection of two different preferences. Kind of like how we say both "soda" and "pop." Usually I encounter this confusion when someone says, urgently, "What does the second hand read?!"  A little more pressure than requesting a carbonated beverage...

[mmswm]

To add a third option, I was always taught the "big hand" (hour), the "little hand" (minute), and the second hand.  I distinctly remember seeing a clock with a second hand for the first time.  I'm sure they existed, but neither my parents or my schools had them.  I remember sitting in my doctor's office when I was 7 years old, already competent at telling time, and "discovering" the second hand.