Author Topic: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt  (Read 1074526 times)

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stitchygreyanonymouse

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7290 on: March 04, 2013, 10:20:04 AM »
My brother is 19 and in the military. He's always been a bit of a loose canon, and my parents had gotten into several fights with him about underage drinking, staying out past curfew, etc. when he was in high school. Me? Nothing. I was the good kid. Now, he comes home and they don't even attempt to tell him what to do and he comes and goes as he pleases. Yet they think that they can tell the responsible 22-year-old with her own car and income to come home at a certain hour, or to not drink, or to do or not do this and that. Really?  ???

I think my Mom is related somehow to your parents. My Mom got 2 really good kids - bro and I didn't cause trouble, were excellent students, didn't party hard, etc. So she never had to deal with teenage rebellion.

During the summer after I graduated with my bachelor's and was heading off to grad school in the fall, I bought my first car. I'm 22 years old, and I'm 1.5 weeks away from leaving for school. A high school friend called one day and invited me to a party at her house on the upcoming weekend. I'm in city P and she's in city C, about 3 hours between them. I told her that I didn't think I could make it.

After I hung up, Mom asks what Jenny wanted and I told her. Mom then seizes her one and only opportunity to deal with "teenage rebellion!" and sternly tells me that you. are. not. going. I look at her funny, cock my eyebrow up a la Spock, and inform her that she really doesn't have a way of preventing a 22 year old adult with her own car from traveling, especially since I could leave from Jenny's and just head on up to my apartment that I have rented in grad school town.


Did she not hear you say "I don't think I can make it?"

In my experiences, sometimes parents seem to gloss over what the child actually said when their brain latches on to a potentially Teachable Moment (or an I don’t want you to do it thing).

o_gal

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7291 on: March 04, 2013, 10:33:42 AM »
My brother is 19 and in the military. He's always been a bit of a loose canon, and my parents had gotten into several fights with him about underage drinking, staying out past curfew, etc. when he was in high school. Me? Nothing. I was the good kid. Now, he comes home and they don't even attempt to tell him what to do and he comes and goes as he pleases. Yet they think that they can tell the responsible 22-year-old with her own car and income to come home at a certain hour, or to not drink, or to do or not do this and that. Really?  ???

I think my Mom is related somehow to your parents. My Mom got 2 really good kids - bro and I didn't cause trouble, were excellent students, didn't party hard, etc. So she never had to deal with teenage rebellion.

During the summer after I graduated with my bachelor's and was heading off to grad school in the fall, I bought my first car. I'm 22 years old, and I'm 1.5 weeks away from leaving for school. A high school friend called one day and invited me to a party at her house on the upcoming weekend. I'm in city P and she's in city C, about 3 hours between them. I told her that I didn't think I could make it.

After I hung up, Mom asks what Jenny wanted and I told her. Mom then seizes her one and only opportunity to deal with "teenage rebellion!" and sternly tells me that you. are. not. going. I look at her funny, cock my eyebrow up a la Spock, and inform her that she really doesn't have a way of preventing a 22 year old adult with her own car from traveling, especially since I could leave from Jenny's and just head on up to my apartment that I have rented in grad school town.


Did she not hear you say "I don't think I can make it?"

In my experiences, sometimes parents seem to gloss over what the child actually said when their brain latches on to a potentially Teachable Moment (or an I don’t want you to do it thing).

She didn't hear it - she answered the phone, handed it to me, and said "It's Jenny" with a look on her face like "Why is she calling here?" Because Jenny hadn't lived in our hometown since she graduated from college a year ahead of me, got married, and moved to city C. Mom didn't stick around for the rest of the conversation, just was curious afterwards about what Jenny wanted. Then she reared up to Give.Me.What.For.Young.Lady! I kind of prefaced my reply with "I wasn't going to go anyway but you know ..." and she then had her righteousness balloon deflated  :D

Ereine

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7292 on: March 04, 2013, 10:37:23 AM »
That reminds me of something my mother sometimes does, which amuses me and hurts my brain a little. I will say that I'll have to some important thing the very next thing, like send a job application or call a doctor or something. We'll talk about it and she starts talking about how important it is to do it soon, like the position will be filled or my leg will fall off or something and I keep saying that I will do it, the very next thing on my list, it's important, etc. I keep thinking that didn't this discussion start with me saying how important the thing was and how I was going to do it soon, I don't really need convincing. 

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7293 on: March 04, 2013, 10:42:00 AM »
My best friend does that.  I'll mention that there's something I really need to do and she'll start talking about why it's so important that I do it and why I need to do it, etc. etc. I've more than once said in an amused tone "Well yeah, I know that, which is why I said I need to do that, so why are we discussing this so much?"
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

o_gal

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7294 on: March 04, 2013, 10:47:46 AM »
One of my Mom's tactics for dealing with situations her brain can't handle is to abruptly hang up the phone if the brain-hurtiness of her arguments is shown to her. We now live in the same area, but she's west of our city in a small farming community, and I'm southeast in a suburb. It's about a 45 minute drive between them, depending on traffic, so we usually communicate by phone calls.

So there will be an issue where she gets all hot and bothered and comes down on me during the phone call about it. I point out the flaws in her arguments, and she may or may not yell at me first, but she will slam down the phone in response. My favorite was the time when I forgot to tell her that we (DH, DS, and I) were going on a vacation. The next phone call I said BTW, we went on vacation and started to tell her about it. I was then treated to a tirade about how I never told them I was going on vacation, and what if something had happened to me, and I was hurt, and they wouldn't know where I was. I pointed out that if I was hurt and they called to tell you, chances are very good that they would also tell you where I am. The phone then slammed down.

Never mind the brain hurty that an adult woman with a DH and 11 year old son would not have the rescue people calling her parents to come get her.

Adelaide

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7295 on: March 04, 2013, 11:51:40 AM »
That reminds me of something my mother sometimes does, which amuses me and hurts my brain a little. I will say that I'll have to some important thing the very next thing, like send a job application or call a doctor or something. We'll talk about it and she starts talking about how important it is to do it soon, like the position will be filled or my leg will fall off or something and I keep saying that I will do it, the very next thing on my list, it's important, etc. I keep thinking that didn't this discussion start with me saying how important the thing was and how I was going to do it soon, I don't really need convincing.

My mother does this too.

Me: "Oh yeah, I have to do Thing tomorrow, I'd better write it down, do you have a pen?"

Mom: "IF YOU DON'T DO THING YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BE SUCCESSFUL AS AN ADULT BLARGH!"

Me: "I-I've got this."

Mom: "BUT YOU SHOULD DO THING RIGHT NOW!"

Me: "....this doesn't affect you at all. Like...zero. There are literally no ways in which this could possibly have any bearing on your life ever."

Mom: "DON'T GET SMART WITH ME YOU NEED TO DO THING RIGHT NOOOW."

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7296 on: March 04, 2013, 11:57:47 AM »
She can't freak if she doesn't know.  Cut off the information flow.

Barney girl

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7297 on: March 04, 2013, 12:20:37 PM »
I have a friend who does something similar. She will 'remind' me to do something or advise me to do it. The trouble is it's usually something I would do anyway, but she has the warm glow of feeling that I would never have thought of it without her assistance.
The worst was when she reminded me that I should have lights on my bike and wear something fluorescent. It would not sink in that, yes I have lights and I have a big fluorescent work jacket. She would only continue to talk about cyclists she had seen (or rather almost not seen, if that makes sense) who did not do so.
I know she's got my best interests at heart but .....grrrrr.

Reika

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7298 on: March 04, 2013, 12:55:32 PM »
She can't freak if she doesn't know.  Cut off the information flow.

I have to agree. I actually did that to my own mom when she started blabbing about stuff to not just her co-workers, but other random people she knew. Took her a long time to regain my trust with information about my personal life.

Reika

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7299 on: March 04, 2013, 01:17:50 PM »
Sorry for the double post, but a friend of mine posted this link

http://www.businessinsider.com/japanese-robot-suit-approved-for-worldwide-rollout-2013-2#ixzz2MPHiHSMa

The part that hurt my brain was the names of the device and the company that made said device.

2littlemonkeys

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7300 on: March 04, 2013, 02:04:57 PM »
The "Didn't I just say I was going to do that?" stories reminded me of an experience I had years ago.  I might have mentioned this one in the early days of this thread but it still makes me go, "Buh?"

When I was younger, I went through a bout of persistent UTIs and one particularly ugly one occurred over the weekend.  I was unable to see my regular doctor so I went into urgent care instead.  As soon as I started showing symptoms, I popped a couple of those numbing pills to keep me from killing someone before I could be seen by a professional.  These things have a color changing effect on your output. 

As I was in triage, I mentioned to the nurse why I was there and also that I had taken the numbing pills.

A culture is taken.  The doctor then comes in and starts scolding me for taking the numbing pills.  People are always taking those and then they feel better and just ignore the fact that they have an infection and need to be seen.  It's irresponsible!!  It's ridiculous!  How is he supposed to do his job if we insist on taking these things!  They don't cure the infection, they just numb the pain.  THE HUUUMMMAAAANNNNIIIITTTYYYYY!!!!

The nurse and I were both  :o

I get what he was saying but I was THERE.  Waiting for him to confirm that I did have a UTI.  So I could get it treated with the proper medication.   Dude was preaching to the choir.

WillyNilly

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7301 on: March 04, 2013, 02:14:19 PM »
Sorry for the double post, but a friend of mine posted this link

http://www.businessinsider.com/japanese-robot-suit-approved-for-worldwide-rollout-2013-2#ixzz2MPHiHSMa

The part that hurt my brain was the names of the device and the company that made said device.

I don't think the names are unreasonable at all.  It hurts my brain that anyone would associate a Japanese product in 2013 with a 45 year old American film, or even a 29 year old American film. Most likely half the people working on these robots weren't even alive when those films came out, and being on a totally different continent that speaks a different language then the films were made in, they probably have little to no knowledge of their existence or relevance.

Adelaide

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7302 on: March 04, 2013, 02:36:24 PM »
She can't freak if she doesn't know.  Cut off the information flow.

I have to agree. I actually did that to my own mom when she started blabbing about stuff to not just her co-workers, but other random people she knew. Took her a long time to regain my trust with information about my personal life.

This is a good idea in theory, but when you get the phone call while you're right next to her, or she's already seen the mail, or you ask about something and she says "why", it's not always possible to keep her in the dark. I don't go around broadcasting "I HAVE THIS, THAT, AND THE OTHER TO DO". Usually she finds out by virtue of being in the same room.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7303 on: March 04, 2013, 02:38:58 PM »
The "Didn't I just say I was going to do that?" stories reminded me of an experience I had years ago.  I might have mentioned this one in the early days of this thread but it still makes me go, "Buh?"

When I was younger, I went through a bout of persistent UTIs and one particularly ugly one occurred over the weekend.  I was unable to see my regular doctor so I went into urgent care instead.  As soon as I started showing symptoms, I popped a couple of those numbing pills to keep me from killing someone before I could be seen by a professional.  These things have a color changing effect on your output. 

As I was in triage, I mentioned to the nurse why I was there and also that I had taken the numbing pills.

A culture is taken.  The doctor then comes in and starts scolding me for taking the numbing pills.  People are always taking those and then they feel better and just ignore the fact that they have an infection and need to be seen.  It's irresponsible!!  It's ridiculous!  How is he supposed to do his job if we insist on taking these things!  They don't cure the infection, they just numb the pain.  THE HUUUMMMAAAANNNNIIIITTTYYYYY!!!!

The nurse and I were both  :o

I get what he was saying but I was THERE.  Waiting for him to confirm that I did have a UTI.  So I could get it treated with the proper medication.   Dude was preaching to the choir.

This sounds like today, when I attempted to call a system to update my record with correct information.  It had one of those awful automated systems where you never get anywhere or anyone.  When it gave you some menu options, one of them was, "Update my information."  I pressed the button for this, and was then treated to a one-minute long message of, "It is *very* important that you always update your information with our system if it goes out of date.  You should always notify us of any changes."  Etc.  Hello!  I'm dialing your number and chose the update option, obviously that's what I want!

Cat-Fu

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Re: Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt
« Reply #7304 on: March 04, 2013, 02:42:24 PM »
Sorry for the double post, but a friend of mine posted this link

http://www.businessinsider.com/japanese-robot-suit-approved-for-worldwide-rollout-2013-2#ixzz2MPHiHSMa

The part that hurt my brain was the names of the device and the company that made said device.

Don't worry too much, there needs to be 8,995 revisions before it reaches HAL 9000 and then gains self awareness via Skynet. :P
“Poetry is a sword of lightning, ever unsheathed, which consumes the scabbard that would contain it.” PBS