Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[Diane AKA Traska]

A place I worked was entirely about litigation - yet most of the lawyers had only been in a trial a few times over their entire career.  A lot of litigation is just motion practice now.  You might appear before a judge, but the who examination that you see on tv is not something everyone gets or has to do even if you are interested in litigation.

That reminds me of Tom Cruise's character in A Few Good Men.  The joke was he'd never seen the inside of a courtroom until he got that case because every previous case was settled out of court.

One more plea bargain and he would win a set of of steak knives.

Yep, that was it. That is really the only movie I really like that has Tom Cruise in it.  Mostly cause I like the other actors so much and he is admittedly quite funny in that one.

I liked him in Tropic Thunder.  That was really about it, though...

[PastryGoddess]

The "pennies a day" thing reminds me of when McDonalds made a big deal out of the fact that you got change back after buying their food.   I was only a kid, but even I was like " ... So?   If you give them a big enough bill, of course you're going to get change back!"

Logic...it's what's for dinner

[gramma dishes]

My sister swears one of her friends put a velvet rope across the entrance to her living room.  No one ever went in there.   

Did your sister happen to live in Illinois?  We knew a family like that too.  They really did have one of those velvet ropes on poles strung across the entrance into their living room.  No one in the family was permitted in there.  To the best of my knowledge, no guest ever crossed that barrier either.  No one ever went near the living room, the dining room or the real family room on the ground floor.  The mother vacuumed and dusted those rooms once a week, but otherwise they were untouched by human hands or feet.

They used the kitchen, and they used their bedrooms and upstairs baths, but otherwise all activities took place in the basement. 

[magician5]

The "pennies a day" thing reminds me of when McDonalds made a big deal out of the fact that you got change back after buying their food.   I was only a kid, but even I was like " ... So?   If you give them a big enough bill, of course you're going to get change back!"

Not brain-hurty, but I am of the generation who heard McDonald's commercials that sang "Just 47 cents for a three-course meal!", meaning a small burger, small fries (I don't believe they had large fries back then) and small soda.

[ica171]

This topic is bumming me out, because I would love to replace our worn-out carpet, but right now we can't afford it - doing our entire house would cost roughly $20,000.  Sigh.

Topic - and also related to carpet - my in-laws replaced their carpet about 15 years ago when all of their grandchildren were babies or toddlers, and they chose WHITE.  Not even off-white, but pure snowy white.  When my husband said "Um, you either have a lot of faith in kids' abilities to not be messy, or you don't mind", MIL said airily "Oh, you and your siblings will just have to keep an eye on your kids and make sure they don't mess it up."  Riiiight.

(For the record, we always did keep an eye on our kids, but no-one's perfect.  My in-laws' home was an absolute nightmare to visit with small children - not only because of the white carpet, but because of the small breakable figurines everywhere and the unprotected power outlets.  And they wondered why we didn't visit more often.)

They're not exchanges but overheard conversations, or those conversations where you're not in it but the person doing most of the talking keeps looking at you to see if you're agreeing. I've heard a few people make the comment that "oh, when my grandkids come over, they're just going to have to be careful! I'm not changing anything! Why, when I was young, my grandma would say 'those are my things and you don't touch them' and by golly, we didn't touch them! Kids these days just aren't made to mind!"  Yes, children should understand that some things are not toys and to follow directions, but that's not an instantaneous process and accidents happen. Wouldn't it be easier to put your collection of extremely delicate figurines up instead of making your guests uncomfortable and constantly on the edge of their seats, tensed to jump up and grab the baby if he so much as looks in that direction?

[kherbert05]

This topic is bumming me out, because I would love to replace our worn-out carpet, but right now we can't afford it - doing our entire house would cost roughly $20,000.  Sigh.

Topic - and also related to carpet - my in-laws replaced their carpet about 15 years ago when all of their grandchildren were babies or toddlers, and they chose WHITE.  Not even off-white, but pure snowy white.  When my husband said "Um, you either have a lot of faith in kids' abilities to not be messy, or you don't mind", MIL said airily "Oh, you and your siblings will just have to keep an eye on your kids and make sure they don't mess it up."  Riiiight.

(For the record, we always did keep an eye on our kids, but no-one's perfect.  My in-laws' home was an absolute nightmare to visit with small children - not only because of the white carpet, but because of the small breakable figurines everywhere and the unprotected power outlets.  And they wondered why we didn't visit more often.)

They're not exchanges but overheard conversations, or those conversations where you're not in it but the person doing most of the talking keeps looking at you to see if you're agreeing. I've heard a few people make the comment that "oh, when my grandkids come over, they're just going to have to be careful! I'm not changing anything! Why, when I was young, my grandma would say 'those are my things and you don't touch them' and by golly, we didn't touch them! Kids these days just aren't made to mind!"  Yes, children should understand that some things are not toys and to follow directions, but that's not an instantaneous process and accidents happen. Wouldn't it be easier to put your collection of extremely delicate figurines up instead of making your guests uncomfortable and constantly on the edge of their seats, tensed to jump up and grab the baby if he so much as looks in that direction?

Mom had a good deal of breakable items on low tables, once sis and I were old enough to not touch. Dad never had a problem with her moving them when family came over. It really bugged him when she moved them because friends or business associates brought their kids over.

He felt like she was insulting their parenting. (Family you can be more honest - besides it was obvious she adored my younger cousins). Now Mom moved things so that they looked natural in their new place.

Then one year before the company (family invited) Christmas party Dad heard two parents talking. One was worried about bringing his toddler. He had been by the house and seen it with the breakable things on the low tables. The other employee said basically no (Mom and Dad) are fantastic hosts - those things are moved each year - but you wouldn't even know they had been there orginally. You do have to watch your kids, but just because they are kids. The house is very kid friendly. Dad appologized to mom.

[Carotte]

We are years away from my parents having grandchildren but right now I would never think of bringing a toddler in their living room. It's been years since they've had little kids visiting so I don't remember what they used to do but baby proofing the room now would take most of a day and the ability to create a new room to to put all the stuff in.
Unless it's made with snide remarks, kid-proofing a room is a 100% good host doing, that way you are allowing your guest to talk to you while watching his kid with one eye, and not trying to talk to your guest while he's restling his toddler near him and half trying to engage him to avoid tantrums.

[Carotte]

We are years away from my parents having grandchildren but right now I would never think of bringing a toddler in their living room. It's been years since they've had little kids visiting so I don't remember what they used to do but baby proofing the room now would take most of a day and the ability to create a new room to to put all the stuff in.
Unless it's made with snide remarks, kid-proofing a room is a 100% good host doing, that way you are allowing your guest to talk to you while watching his kid with one eye, and not trying to talk to your guest while he's restling his toddler near him and half trying to engage him to avoid tantrums.

(so many sharp corners! so many small small stuff they could put in their mouth or break, so many pointy things (my mom quilts), there's even a step near another bunch of sharp corners, and huge books easily reachables near plenty of fragiles or heavy dodads, it's baby hell!! it's a good thing no little kids visit here  )

[Piratelvr1121]

This is making me grateful for my ILs, who always do what they can to baby proof their house when we bring Piratebabe over there.  And sometimes they'll miss a few things, likely because he wasn't quite that tall the last time they saw him, but they're good at swooping in to move something.  Usually while laughing and saying "Well I didn't think he'd be able to get to THAT already!" as they move it higher.

[RingTailedLemur]

We are years away from my parents having grandchildren but right now I would never think of bringing a toddler in their living room. It's been years since they've had little kids visiting so I don't remember what they used to do but baby proofing the room now would take most of a day and the ability to create a new room to to put all the stuff in.
Unless it's made with snide remarks, kid-proofing a room is a 100% good host doing, that way you are allowing your guest to talk to you while watching his kid with one eye, and not trying to talk to your guest while he's restling his toddler near him and half trying to engage him to avoid tantrums.

(so many sharp corners! so many small small stuff they could put in their mouth or break, so many pointy things (my mom quilts), there's even a step near another bunch of sharp corners, and huge books easily reachables near plenty of fragiles or heavy dodads, it's baby hell!! it's a good thing no little kids visit here  )

I don't see how that's a brainhurt.  It's their house - if they don't have children visiting, why does it matter that their house isn't baby proofed?

[Coralreef]

We had a neighbour who had plastic over everything, furniture, plastic runners on the floor, her kids were not allowed in the house except to eat and sleep, because they could make a mess.

Then she always wondered why they left home so early in life and never came back to see her. 

Lady, YOU pushed them out, don't complain now. 

[Luci45]

Car upholstery used to be pretty weak, so whenever anyone bought a new car we would get ads for seatcovers that even included lots of samples. (I played with them when I was little  ) Many people did buy the covers, then remove them when it was time to sell the car, and others would use the original upholstery and then buy the covers when it wore out. The former always made my brain hurt - they paid for it, they ought to enjoy it without the inconvenience of uncomfortable or illfitting or not quite matching covers.

Now upholstery  it much, much better. We have over 120,000 miles on our motorhome, and if you remember that I am a bit overweight and yet swivel in the seat, sliding on the fabric about every hour to get in and out of the seat when traveling and it doesn't show a bit of wear, it is really amazing.

[Diane AKA Traska]

We had a neighbour who had plastic over everything, furniture, plastic runners on the floor, her kids were not allowed in the house except to eat and sleep, because they could make a mess.

Then she always wondered why they left home so early in life and never came back to see her. 

Lady, YOU pushed them out, don't complain now.

That's quite possibly the worst thing I have ever heard.

[Piratelvr1121]

That is pretty sad.

[Thipu1]

We had a neighbour who had plastic over everything, furniture, plastic runners on the floor, her kids were not allowed in the house except to eat and sleep, because they could make a mess.

Then she always wondered why they left home so early in life and never came back to see her. 

Lady, YOU pushed them out, don't complain now.

That was always a kind of brain-hurt.  People have beautifully holstered furniture and then cover it in plastic.  A house is a place to live.  It shouldn't be enclosed in a baggie. 

We also had a friend who, while she didn't have a velvet rope blocking off her living room, was darn close.  We always joked that she should because nobody ever set foot in there.  Another brain-hurry
 thing about her home was that the only books in evidence were Reader's Digest Condensed books and they were all color co-ordinated with the decor of the rooms.  The ones in the sacrosanct living room were all pink and beige while those in the den were all green.

You had to wonder how much thought was expended on something so silly.