Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[Luci45]

My mom had gotten some new medicine from her doctor recently, and she showed me the label on the bottle and had a question. On it says take one tablet by mouth. Pretty standard stuff, but why did "by mouth" have to be put on there, wouldn't it be naturally known to do so? I told her some medicines are taken in other ways of course, and also as I reminded her similarly some time ago being puzzled at the mentioning in a recipe for caramel squares to be "unwrapped." Some folks need a little clarification, lest they call the doctor or pharmacist wondering why their medicine wasn't working right, or the candy company with the lament of having cellophane stuck in their cookies.

Not a fan of House, but caught one in which the asthma sufferer was spraying the inhalant on the outside of her neck instead of breathing it in. I guess the pharmacist offered to give her instructions, but she said the same thing to him that she said to the ER people: "Of course I know how to use it! What do think I am? Stupid or something?"

I also have heard of people who have taken a suppository orally.

And with household products, tried to use a Tupperware TM bread keeper to bake bread.

So, yes, the world is full of people who must be reminded to not reach under the lawnmower when it is on.

Search for "Darwin Awards" and you will find the funniest and most terrifying stories in the world! When I am feeling really bad about myself, I watch Jerry Springer or Montel, or read the Darwin Awards.

[Lynn2000]

My dad just got one of those whole roasted chickens from the deli that come in a plastic container. He noted that the instructions warned the container was not "ovenable." That made us both kind of go  and wonder if "to oven something" is now said, or what...

[Ereine]

There was a story on a Finnish Facebook fail type site about a young woman who was angry at her microwave. Her freezer was full so she put her ice cream in the microwave for half an hour and was dismayed that it had completely melted. She had used the "snowflake" (defrosting) setting after all and snow is cold.

[Virg]

Lynn2000 wrote:

"He noted that the instructions warned the container was not "ovenable." That made us both kind of go  and wonder if "to oven something" is now said, or what..."

This is a non-English speaking deli worker's way of saying "They made me write the English translation for these instructions but all I've got to work with is Google and what I remember from grade school."  I'd guess Spanish because (verb)-able is a typical Spanish construction.  One does have to give credit that while it's not standard English it does communicate the idea successfully.

Virg

[Diane AKA Traska]

There was a story on a Finnish Facebook fail type site about a young woman who was angry at her microwave. Her freezer was full so she put her ice cream in the microwave for half an hour and was dismayed that it had completely melted. She had used the "snowflake" (defrosting) setting after all and snow is cold.

Heck, she was in Finland, couldn't she have put it in the yard?

(NOTE:  This is a joke.  I know Finland isn't icy cold all year round.  You're not Canada for deity's sake!)
(Yes, that's a joke too.)

[bloo]

I saw an ad in a hunting supply catalog that was a toilet seat that goes on your reese hitch (on the back of your vehicle) under which you'd put a 5-gallon bucket or something. It's no longer for sale on the following site but is still listed on there.

http://www.northerntool.com/shop/tools/product_200308541_200308541

I still chuckle over the following overly explicit (IMO) directions - note the bolded:

The Off-Road Commode is a great option when nature calls and there’s no restroom for miles. Easily slides into any 2in. receiver hitch and supports up to 500 lbs. Ideal for hunters, fishing fanatics and camping enthusiasts. Not for use when vehicle is in motion. Can get slippery when wet.

  I mean, really? Someone has to be told this?

[Lynn2000]

Lynn2000 wrote:

"He noted that the instructions warned the container was not "ovenable." That made us both kind of go  and wonder if "to oven something" is now said, or what..."

This is a non-English speaking deli worker's way of saying "They made me write the English translation for these instructions but all I've got to work with is Google and what I remember from grade school."  I'd guess Spanish because (verb)-able is a typical Spanish construction.  One does have to give credit that while it's not standard English it does communicate the idea successfully.

Virg

Hey, maybe so, I never thought about that. I thought it was printed on the official company packaging, but I didn't actually see it myself, so it could have come from the deli staff. And I agree, we knew exactly what it meant! Though then it made me wonder if the packaging was microwave and/or dishwasher safe, because I'm way more likely to use those than my oven...

[Lynn2000]

Here is one from my dad. A few weeks ago when I was at my parents' house we had Chinese take-out. This is very exotic for them. I like to eat with chopsticks so my dad grabbed a few pairs of the disposable wooden ones they have at the restaurant, and I used a pair at dinner. I assumed they had gotten thrown out after dinner, because they are, in fact, disposable...

But no. My dad thought he should save them, in case I wanted to reuse them next time. So he carefully washed the chopsticks. Then, he... put them in the microwave to dry them. They came out blackened, and set off the smoke detector.

I do have reusable chopsticks, which I think might be made out of plastic, but I can't imagine he would know such things exist. So I'm not sure where this particular bright idea came from...

[MerryCat]

There was a story on a Finnish Facebook fail type site about a young woman who was angry at her microwave. Her freezer was full so she put her ice cream in the microwave for half an hour and was dismayed that it had completely melted. She had used the "snowflake" (defrosting) setting after all and snow is cold.

Heck, she was in Finland, couldn't she have put it in the yard?

(NOTE:  This is a joke.  I know Finland isn't icy cold all year round.  You're not Canada for deity's sake!)
(Yes, that's a joke too.)

On snowpocalyptic days like tody that's less a joke and more a grim statement of reality. We've already had several centimeters of snow today, and it's not expected to stop for another 10 hours or so >.<

[ladyknight1]

I saw an ad in a hunting supply catalog that was a toilet seat that goes on your reese hitch (on the back of your vehicle) under which you'd put a 5-gallon bucket or something. It's no longer for sale on the following site but is still listed on there.

http://www.northerntool.com/shop/tools/product_200308541_200308541

I still chuckle over the following overly explicit (IMO) directions - note the bolded:

The Off-Road Commode is a great option when nature calls and there’s no restroom for miles. Easily slides into any 2in. receiver hitch and supports up to 500 lbs. Ideal for hunters, fishing fanatics and camping enthusiasts. Not for use when vehicle is in motion. Can get slippery when wet.

  I mean, really? Someone has to be told this?

I still think that product is more tasteful than the hitch-mounted stripper pole: http://www.geekologie.com/2012/09/finally-a-decent-hitch-mounted-stripper.php

[norrina]

Here is one from my dad. A few weeks ago when I was at my parents' house we had Chinese take-out. This is very exotic for them. I like to eat with chopsticks so my dad grabbed a few pairs of the disposable wooden ones they have at the restaurant, and I used a pair at dinner. I assumed they had gotten thrown out after dinner, because they are, in fact, disposable...

But no. My dad thought he should save them, in case I wanted to reuse them next time. So he carefully washed the chopsticks. Then, he... put them in the microwave to dry them. They came out blackened, and set off the smoke detector.

I do have reusable chopsticks, which I think might be made out of plastic, but I can't imagine he would know such things exist. So I'm not sure where this particular bright idea came from...

We actually wash our disposable chopsticks, although we let them air dry. I have one pair of reuseable chopsticks, but DF and DSS don't have any, and we've just never gotten around to getting additional sets. This way we usually have a few spares around for when we cook our own Chinese.

[Luci45]

Here is one from my dad. A few weeks ago when I was at my parents' house we had Chinese take-out. This is very exotic for them. I like to eat with chopsticks so my dad grabbed a few pairs of the disposable wooden ones they have at the restaurant, and I used a pair at dinner. I assumed they had gotten thrown out after dinner, because they are, in fact, disposable...

But no. My dad thought he should save them, in case I wanted to reuse them next time. So he carefully washed the chopsticks. Then, he... put them in the microwave to dry them. They came out blackened, and set off the smoke detector.

I do have reusable chopsticks, which I think might be made out of plastic, but I can't imagine he would know such things exist. So I'm not sure where this particular bright idea came from...

We actually wash our disposable chopsticks, although we let them air dry. I have one pair of reuseable chopsticks, but DF and DSS don't have any, and we've just never gotten around to getting additional sets. This way we usually have a few spares around for when we cook our own Chinese.

I often put sponges in the microwave for 1 minute to sanitize them. I would imagine the man simply put the chopsticks in for too long. Probably 30 seconds would have been plenty, and if they were dry, a 1/4 c bowl of water beside them would have been wise.

My bother-in-law was really upset with me because I told him he could warm left over pizza in the microwave so he did it and it came out like a board. He put it in for 4 minutes! It's all my fault that he didn't read the instructions. This was in the '80s, so somewhat new as a common household appliance.

And then there was the person who hated Splenda because it was too sweet. Sometimes it tastes weird and bitter to some people, but she just tossed it. Again my fault. It was like a light bulb went on when I said, "Well, use less."

[Kaora]

How is it people keep confusing my sister and I, or keep thinking we're identical twins?

BF just reported that someone at work is mad for my sister and my BF somehow offending a person at McDonalds (? I'll get the whole story later, he just let me know this over email) when we were doing nothing more than standing in line.  The problem is... well, we.  It was my BF and I getting a quick drink while he was on his lunch.

Why am I confused?  We do look a little similar, not completely alien.  At least, the same dark blonde hair color, but its kept at different cuts.  She wears glasses, I have 20/20 vision, she looks all Nordic where I took after the Celtic side of the family.  She has pale skin with rosy cheeks, a thin face with high cheekbones and grey-blue eyes.  I have a wider face with somewhat high cheek bones, a darker complexion with a little less red, and hazel eyes, and have quite a few freckles.

Yet we often get stopped if we're out having lunch together, and are asked if we're identical twins.  People just don't seem to believe that she's two and a half years older than me.

[VorFemme]

I saw an ad in a hunting supply catalog that was a toilet seat that goes on your reese hitch (on the back of your vehicle) under which you'd put a 5-gallon bucket or something. It's no longer for sale on the following site but is still listed on there.

http://www.northerntool.com/shop/tools/product_200308541_200308541

I still chuckle over the following overly explicit (IMO) directions - note the bolded:

The Off-Road Commode is a great option when nature calls and there’s no restroom for miles. Easily slides into any 2in. receiver hitch and supports up to 500 lbs. Ideal for hunters, fishing fanatics and camping enthusiasts. Not for use when vehicle is in motion. Can get slippery when wet.

  I mean, really? Someone has to be told this?

I live in Houston, Texas.  There are signs in some public bathrooms that specify that "soiled" toilet tissue is to be FLUSHED.  In English, Spanish, and sometimes a type face/writing that I don't recognize the language specifically.

Apparently some tourists or immigrants are from areas where the drains can't handle toilet tissue AND body waste - so there is toilet tissue being placed in trash cans instead of the toilet.

Around here, the trash can next to the toilet is for soiled "feminine products".  Or paper towels, if there is only one toilet in the bathroom and one trash container.

[Mental Magpie]

How is it people keep confusing my sister and I, or keep thinking we're identical twins?

BF just reported that someone at work is mad for my sister and my BF somehow offending a person at McDonalds (? I'll get the whole story later, he just let me know this over email) when we were doing nothing more than standing in line.  The problem is... well, we.  It was my BF and I getting a quick drink while he was on his lunch.

Why am I confused?  We do look a little similar, not completely alien.  At least, the same dark blonde hair color, but its kept at different cuts.  She wears glasses, I have 20/20 vision, she looks all Nordic where I took after the Celtic side of the family.  She has pale skin with rosy cheeks, a thin face with high cheekbones and grey-blue eyes.  I have a wider face with somewhat high cheek bones, a darker complexion with a little less red, and hazel eyes, and have quite a few freckles.

Yet we often get stopped if we're out having lunch together, and are asked if we're identical twins.  People just don't seem to believe that she's two and a half years older than me.

Are you me?!

My sister is also 2/5 years older than I am.  Although we look like sisters, we don't look that much alike.  We get mistaken for twins constantly and have even had people argue with us!  I wear glasses, she doesn't; she has freckles, I don't; her hair is much curlier and less frizzy than mine; and I have an oval face while she has a round one.  On top of that, she has a smaller nose, normal set almost eyes, curved eyebrows, and a narrow mouth.  I have a large nose, deep set eyes, flat/straight thick eyebrows, and fuller lips.  Gease louise, people, we're not the same person!