Exchanges with People that Make Your Brain Hurt

[Lynn2000]

I live in Houston, Texas.  There are signs in some public bathrooms that specify that "soiled" toilet tissue is to be FLUSHED.  In English, Spanish, and sometimes a type face/writing that I don't recognize the language specifically.

Apparently some tourists or immigrants are from areas where the drains can't handle toilet tissue AND body waste - so there is toilet tissue being placed in trash cans instead of the toilet.

Around here, the trash can next to the toilet is for soiled "feminine products".  Or paper towels, if there is only one toilet in the bathroom and one trash container.

Had a brain-hurting conversation with a friend once when she asked me if she should put a sign next to the toilet in her apartment, asking people to throw the toilet paper into the trash can instead of flushing it. She was having issues with it frequently clogging. I was just like, "Wha...??" and she finally explained that in her country of origin (in South America) this is a common thing because the plumbing in general can't handle toilet paper. I replied that, IME at least, in the US this is not generally the case and other people from the US would be weirded out by that sign/request. Basically this meant (IMO) there was something actually wrong with her toilet, which could and ought to be repaired, and she either needed to get on her landlord about it (if it was something with the whole building plumbing) or pay for a plumber herself. I just couldn't understand why she thought the sign/request would be a good idea, until she finally explained it was common where she was from.

[TootsNYC]

My brain got broken (possibly permanently) at work this afternoon. 

Male Coworker (MC) sent out an email saying he was going to be out Monday and possibly Tuesday.  Annoying Coworker (AC) asked why and he said his grandmother had died.  The rest of us said, "Oh, that's too bad.  I'm sorry to hear that" types of phrases.  AC said, "oh that's too bad", paused for a moment and then said, "Was she very old then?"    MC said, "Yeah, she was kind of old, she's had Alzheimer's for awhile".  AC said, "Oh, well it was for the best, if she had that". 

*pause* 

AC brightly says, "So how old are your parents?".  MC sounds kind of stunned, but answers.  AC continues to grill MC about his parents, any siblings he has, any siblings his parents have, who will be at the funeral, does he know who the executor of the estate is, and on and on and on.  Most of us by the end were just sitting with dropped jaws!  MC finally got away by just standing up and leaving.  AC works for an additional hour beyond when MC leaves, so couldn't follow him out, but looked very disappointed that her inquisition had to end. 

Now I know who not to answer questions from in the future!  And seriously, who thinks it's okay to grill someone about their family when they've just told you a family member has died?

Feel free to interrupt her and say, "Annoying Coworker, I'm sure Mike would rather not be grilled about his family. That's his business, and it's not necessary for us at work."

[Midnight Kitty]

We just had a meeting at work that made my brain hurt.  My office is being split into different administrative groups.  For some reason, my group gets no respect.  The other group said the people who work in my group must all move so they can have all their people close together.  It's not enough that all the people in the group are in the same office; They need to be in adjacent cubicles.  In order to achieve this, they are moving my group and scattering us so we are no longer near each other or near our files.  In fact, they want to move our files into another office.   When they are done putting in new doors and walls, my group will have to go outside of our office, down the hall, and back in another door to reach our printer/copier.  My group's kitchen somehow ended up on the other group's side of the wall, so they would have access to our refrigerator, toaster oven, and microwave, but we wouldn't.  We paid for the appliances; They didn't.

The part that really made my brain hurt was that the other group's supervisor is planning to occupy a cubicle in the office across the hall. Apparently she isn't thrilled that the other group was placed under her supervision and would rather not be located where she would be expected to actively supervise them.  So ... it's OK to split up my group, move us all over the place, separate us from the materials we need to serve the public, all in the name of having the other group "together," except their supervisor won't even be in the same office.

[VorFemme]

It was some sixteen years after we left the town where we lived about three years (I was 11 when we got there and 14 when we left).  I was walking down the street near my house (exercise) when someone "recognized" me as my parents' daughter.

But kept calling me by my sister's name and insisting that *I* had been in their class and was THEIR friend.

Nope, I was the glasses wearing bookworm older sister and had been in the class a year ahead of her.  She kept calling me by shorter, younger, sister who still didn't wear glasses at the time (twenty years later, she does), and insisting that I was Lil Sis.

I started doing my exercise in a different pattern or going by that house at a different time of day.  She would not "recognize" me as Older Sister of Lil Sis and kept calling me Lil Sis while asking me if I remembered *some event* that I was not present for.

Much eye rolling and avoiding her proved the only way to get around the situation.

[Kaora]

How is it people keep confusing my sister and I, or keep thinking we're identical twins?

BF just reported that someone at work is mad for my sister and my BF somehow offending a person at McDonalds (? I'll get the whole story later, he just let me know this over email) when we were doing nothing more than standing in line.  The problem is... well, we.  It was my BF and I getting a quick drink while he was on his lunch.

Why am I confused?  We do look a little similar, not completely alien.  At least, the same dark blonde hair color, but its kept at different cuts.  She wears glasses, I have 20/20 vision, she looks all Nordic where I took after the Celtic side of the family.  She has pale skin with rosy cheeks, a thin face with high cheekbones and grey-blue eyes.  I have a wider face with somewhat high cheek bones, a darker complexion with a little less red, and hazel eyes, and have quite a few freckles.

Yet we often get stopped if we're out having lunch together, and are asked if we're identical twins.  People just don't seem to believe that she's two and a half years older than me.

Are you me?!

My sister is also 2/5 years older than I am.  Although we look like sisters, we don't look that much alike.  We get mistaken for twins constantly and have even had people argue with us!  I wear glasses, she doesn't; she has freckles, I don't; her hair is much curlier and less frizzy than mine; and I have an oval face while she has a round one.  On top of that, she has a smaller nose, normal set almost eyes, curved eyebrows, and a narrow mouth.  I have a large nose, deep set eyes, flat/straight thick eyebrows, and fuller lips.  Gease louise, people, we're not the same person!

I'd ask if you were my older sibling, had I another, older one. And had I curly/frizzy hair.  We look related, but we're completely different face and body builds, and people are still convinced we're identical twins!

The only thing I got is that we're really close.  We've almost never fought (almost.  we still had rounds), and are generally interested in the same things.

[jpcher]

We just had a meeting at work that made my brain hurt.  My office is being split into different administrative groups.  For some reason, my group gets no respect.  The other group said the people who work in my group must all move so they can have all their people close together.  It's not enough that all the people in the group are in the same office; They need to be in adjacent cubicles.  In order to achieve this, they are moving my group and scattering us so we are no longer near each other or near our files.  In fact, they want to move our files into another office.   When they are done putting in new doors and walls, my group will have to go outside of our office, down the hall, and back in another door to reach our printer/copier.  My group's kitchen somehow ended up on the other group's side of the wall, so they would have access to our refrigerator, toaster oven, and microwave, but we wouldn't.  We paid for the appliances; They didn't.

The part that really made my brain hurt was that the other group's supervisor is planning to occupy a cubicle in the office across the hall. Apparently she isn't thrilled that the other group was placed under her supervision and would rather not be located where she would be expected to actively supervise them.  So ... it's OK to split up my group, move us all over the place, separate us from the materials we need to serve the public, all in the name of having the other group "together," except their supervisor won't even be in the same office.

Oh, yes. That would make my brain hurt too.   (Love that emoticon!  )

I'm wondering how involved your manager was in this decision making process. From what I understand, in large companies, even floor space (how large a cube/office is) has something to do with the departmental budget. From what you posted, it doesn't sound like you have a leg to complain on. OUCH!

In my situation, the facilities people commandeered about 15 feet off the back of our room which use to sit 7 people (the front 2 cubes were functionally in use for other purposes.) Which meant that the two people in the back would have to move up to the 2 empty cubes in the front.

Uproar ensued. "If I have to move, everybody has to move!" Oh. Give me a break. Instead of moving 2 people, certain CWs  wanted to move everybody up, which meant a complete redesign of 5 cubes instead of 2 (everybody's cube is set up differently for certain tasks.)

This really hurt my brain because of the cost. We're all in the same room! What's the biggie? Does it really matter if our cubes are in a different order?

Brain hurty part is that Boss finally said that we would draw numbers for who gets what cube. I was the only one lucky enough to stay in my own cube . . . Additional Brain hurty? It took 2 days of re-wiring the computers (Mac vs. PC), setting up the desk spaces, lighting, whatever, in order to accommodate 4 moves instead of just 2.



Midnight Kitty -- Your situation is a whole lot different from mine, but I'm here to tell you that I feel your pain.

It just doesn't make sense, does it?

[ladyknight1]

I intentionally buy lots of identical socks so I don't have to spend time matching. Black trouser socks go in a pile, white athletic socks go in a pile, and knee-highs (my trick so I don't have to wear pantyhose with my suits ) go in another pile. When I want to wear some, I just grab two from the right pile!

Ah socks....I used to love pretty socks, but now I can't wear anything but white cotton.  Any dyes cause my feet to smell like old cheese, so it's white cotton for me, forever.
And...as a diabetic, I finally broke down and bought diabetic socks  (diabeticsocks4less.com).
I bought 24 pairs.  I'll never have to buy socks again.

Thank you, my father and DH both have circulation issues. I just ordered 24 pair.

[Midnight Kitty]

I'm wondering how involved your manager was in this decision making process.

I feel your pain, too, jpcher. (((hugs)))

I work for the government.  My supervisor was not consulted.  Our manager position has been vacant for over 3 years large part because having a manager to stand up for us is not what the Chief (above manager) wants.  Chief worked with Other Group for over 2 months on the office reorganization plan and never consulted anyone in our group.

From what I understand, in large companies, even floor space (how large a cube/office is) has something to do with the departmental budget. From what you posted, it doesn't sound like you have a leg to complain on. OUCH!

We are protected by a union.  There are rules which specify exactly how large a cubicle is for an office assistant, secretary, engineer 3, engineer 4, supervisor, manager, etc.  Other Group proposed moving my supervisor into an engineer 3 cubicle, which is against the rules.  Chief doesn't care if my supervisor's cubicle is downsized, but the union can make him care.

[ladyknight1]

My father.

He became violently ill yesterday morning and decided that instead of staying home, he could go visit his friend across the street. When DF was feeling bad, he drank some alka-seltzer, then was violently ill again, at his friend's house. Then he was embarrassed.

[Elfmama]

As for dishwashers, if I'm the one to put the cutlery inside, it will be handles up. Anyone disagree they can fill it themself, my reasoning being that how many here remember to wash their hands before putting the clean dishes away? I would guess not everyone, so that when you get the fork or the knife that are handles down, you are grasping them by the places that touch food, with your not-clean hands. And for knives there is less risk of cutting yourself.
Sadly I have yet to find someone that understands me.

Me, me, me!  I load mine the same way.  Of course, I have another reason too, which was the initial reason for loading them handles up.  My silverware looks like this:


And if they're loaded handles down, they poke through the holes in the basket and keep the spray arms from rotating.

[Louie_LI]

My bother-in-law was really upset with me because I told him he could warm left over pizza in the microwave so he did it and it came out like a board. He put it in for 4 minutes! It's all my fault that he didn't read the instructions. This was in the '80s, so somewhat new as a common household appliance.

Freudian slip?

[blue2000]

The driver for my carpool today.

Him - "Is that Coworker's car?"
Me - "I don't know. Doesn't he have a different colour of car?"
Him - "Well yeah, maybe. I thought I heard him say that he bought a new one. And he lives in that direction."
Me - <thinking> Thousands of people live in 'that direction'. And thousands of cars turn right at this intersection every day. Why in the heck would you think this one has to be him??

[Piratelvr1121]

As a contrast to siblings being mistaken for twins, I submit my father and his twin brother.  Now I have seen fraternal twins that I could have easily mistaken for identical.  I went to school with a pair of them and then there's Fred and George Weasley, which look a great deal alike but you can tell a difference. 

My uncle J is dark haired and dark eyed and a bit shorter than my father, who is blonde with blue eyes.  They have the same voice and pattern of speech and when I look at them I definitely would know they are brothers if I hadn't grown up knowing that.

But apparently kids who went to school with them didn't know this.  They were playing basketball once and my dad fell and hurt himself. One of their buddies said "Call their mom!" To another kid who knew the family's number.   Yet another kid says "They're brothers?"  His brain was apparently hurt that these guys were not only brothers, but twins. 

In fact, for a long time growing up I thought all fraternal twins looked as dissimilar as my father and uncle.  So I thought any twins who looked very much alike HAD to be identical.   I was disabused of this idea when a friend told me our classmates were indeed fraternal and that she could tell the difference between them. 

And I have to admit it wasn't till Deathly Hallows that I could easily tell which twin was Fred and which was George.

[snowflake]

I've actually heard that the only definitive test for twins is a genetic test.  I went to college with a pair of identical twins who were six inches apart in height and had very different faces.  One of them was the "big twin" at birth (not uncommon) and the other spent 3 months in the NICU for her size and a later infection and she never caught up.  They looked very different, but one of them had split her forehead open as a toddler and apparently the resulting scar - even though it was not obvious as an adult - made her whole face grow differently.  Everyone assumed that they couldn't be identical.

But they came from a family with a rather serious genetic ailment. When they were teenagers, they were both tested for it and it was discovered that their genes were identical.

Also, fraternal twins can just have the same facial structure and build because of genetics.  My husband looks exactly like his brother who is 3 years younger and they are always mistaken for twins.  I look like my brother who is seven years older and people keep asking if we are identical twins. 

It makes my brain hurt every time I have to explain that a brother and sister cannot be identical twins.

[mmswm]

A friend of mine has a rather rare set of twins, and she gets to the point where she simply hates trying to explain it.  For whatever random reason, her egg split *before* fertilization.  This isn't supposed to happen, but it can, and did in her case.  Then, both of the new eggs were fertilized by different sperm.  The boys are technically fraternal twins, but are closer than most since the egg half of their genetic make up is identical.