My beer.

[scooter2071]

As for the handing out of 'my' beer to people the next night, it was done with the intentions of getting under my skin. Thats why I am still upset about the whole thing.

[Alida]

FIL owes you a few beers!

(ooh - love SA Cherry Wheat!)

[Brentwood]

It was just a Sam Adams Cherry Wheat, not expensive but not widely distributed where we are.

I'd horde those too - they're hard to find here also. Almost as hard to find as a Sam Adams Old Fezziwig, which is my favorite seasonal.

[MineralDiva]

If you wanted to save "your" beer just for yourself, then yes, it should have been placed somewhere inaccessible to guests.  It was good of you to share it with your FIL.  Though it would have been awkward if you hadn't.

But them coming in later (or the next day) and just helping themselves, is flat out rude.  Next time, hide it in the first place...and keep it hidden until they're gone!

ETA:  Or if you must enjoy a "special" beer in front of guests, at least make sure there is enough to share with them, should they ask to try it also.

[VorFemme]

I have posted in the past about a SIL coming in the front door, opening the fridge behind me as I worked in the kitchen, pulling out a beer, popping the top, taking a swig, and THEN saying "Hi!" to let me know that she was not the DH or DD.............

The six-pack had been purchased for the weekend football game for the three of them (DH, BIL, and his wife) to share at our house - and we were just staying ahead of expenses on earnings.  My substitute teacher money could not be depended on for bills - but did manage to stretch to the occasional "extra" - like a new winter coat, beer, or a steak instead of hamburger.................

She got her beer Sunday, the BIL got one, and DH drank one - there wasn't enough beer left to offer a second round (because of her opening one without announcing that there was a "guest" in the house). 

I don't drink beer - so it was "no skin off my nose" except figuratively reminding me that our hospitality was that straitened at the time.

[behindbj]

It is generally not considered polite to have differing levels of refreshments for you and your guests.  If it was in plain sight, then it's fair game.  If you still wanted to keep it for yourself, then you should place it somewhere else and pour it into a glass when you want to drink it.

So, no.  It's not correct to do this with guests.

behindbj

If I am reading this post correctly, the OP's FIL and his new wife arrived before the party started.  The OP may not have had the opportunity to put the beer away.  In this case, I think that it is perfectly acceptable to tell the FIL, "No, I am saving this beer for a special occasion" and then the OP could put the beer away so that the guests who arrive on time will not be confused.

The party may not have started, but I thought it was pretty clear that the OP was going to drink this particular beer at the party and not offer any to the guests.  That is a differing level of refreshment for guests and is not polite.

If she was indeed saving it for another occasion and was not going to drink it at this party in front of her guests, then I agree with you - hands off.

behindbj

[Hawkwatcher]

It was actually stored in the fridge, guest beer was stored in a cooler w. ice for easy access. They arrived way before the party was scheduled to begin, stayed long enough to guzzle one of mine and went off to another event (before our 'real' guests arrived). Returned the next day, rummaged through the fridge and handed the rest to guests that were not ours, but ones that they had brought over with them that we don't know well.
Had an invited guest asked for one during the party, I would have been forthcoming and shared. I actually moved the beer in the community cooler but guests were satisfied with what they had brought.
I should have taken the high road and just handed them over with out the grumbling but I was miffed.

I do not think that you were required to hand over your beer to your FIL.  It would have been perfectly acceptable to politely tell him "No, I am saving this for another occasion.  You are more than welcome to have Beer Brand X."  If he had argued with you, he would be the rude one.   

 

[IndianInlaw]

It basically sounds like he did this to intentionally annoy you and that's what's rude about it.  If you were planning to drink the good stuff in front of them, it would be rude, but it wouldn't entitle him to take any.  If it was in the refrigerator, he had no business  going in there.   It's the same as serving sandwiches and having someone go in and eat tonight's dinner, because they didn't like sandwiches.

It must have killed you to watch his wife pour it out.

Next time, take the bottles and lock them in the trunk of your car.

[Hawkwatcher]

I'm a little torn over this one as I have been on both sides. One time I went over an aquitances house and she got herself a tasty alcoholic beverage and proceeded to drink it in front of me all the while proclaiming how tasty the new flavor was. I was sorely tempted to reply with "I wouldnt know" but that would have been rude.  I know its kind of petty but that action was part of the reason why we never became friends. I just cant stand that kind of "mine, mine, mine" behavior.

On the flip side:
I keep my liquor in my china closet (classy I know, but I'm short on space) so if you venture in my dining room (which you need to pass through to get into the kitchen) there be all my booze  Now most of the time I have absolutely no problem sharing but there are times that I flat out dont want to but I feel pressured because its right there.

If my host or hostess offers me something to drink, I will ask the host or hostess what he or she has.  It does not matter if a bottle of wine or six-pack of beer is sitting out in the open on the counter, if my host or hostess does not offer me a glass of beer or wine, I will stick with the options listed (pop, coffee, tea, water, etc.).

In your case, I think it would have been perfectably acceptable to ask to try the "tasty" alcoholic beverage because your hostess got one for herself and because she kept on telling you how good it was.  While the polite thing would have been to ask you if you wanted one, she may have been waiting for you to ask her for one.  Had you asked for one and she said "no," then she probably has less emotional maturity than a five-year old. 

[scooter2071]

In the future, I will just drink what everyone else is drinking. FIL opened the beer before I even started to think about drinking, it was way before the party. Had he arrived when we had other guests and I actually was drinking the beer and he asked, I would've gave him one (not happily, I must admit) but I would've shared nonetheless without grumbling.

[CocoCamm]

While the polite thing would have been to ask you if you wanted one, she may have been waiting for you to ask her for one.  Had you asked for one and she said "no," then she probably has less emotional maturity than a five-year old.

Well I guess now the question is, is it polite to ask?

[Hawkwatcher]

I do not see any reason why it would not be polite to ask.

[Adah]

It sounds like FIL was intentionally trying to rile you up, both in drinking the beer the first day and offering it to his pals the next day. I would discuss this with your DH and have him approach his father about how inappropriate his behavior was toward his wife (you), and that in the future, he should not assume that everything in the fridge is available to everyone.

My stepMIL once spied a very special bottle of wine that was in our wine rack. She had guzzled two bottles and was looking for another. I immediately took it out of her hand, told her that she was welcome to X or Y bottles but not Z bottle, as it was one DH and I planned to share. She got a bit miffed but as far as I was concerned, you don't just start opening bottles of wine at another person's house from their wine reserve without asking first.

[Hawkwatcher]

It sounds like FIL was intentionally trying to rile you up, both in drinking the beer the first day and offering it to his pals the next day. I would discuss this with your DH and have him approach his father about how inappropriate his behavior was toward his wife (you), and that in the future, he should not assume that everything in the fridge is available to everyone.

My stepMIL once spied a very special bottle of wine that was in our wine rack. She had guzzled two bottles and was looking for another. I immediately took it out of her hand, told her that she was welcome to X or Y bottles but not Z bottle, as it was one DH and I planned to share. She got a bit miffed but as far as I was concerned, you don't just start opening bottles of wine at another person's house from their wine reserve without asking first.

She guzzled two bottles in one sitting?    

[IndianInlaw]

"you don't just start opening bottles of wine at another person's house from their wine reserve without asking first"

I wouldn't take a glass of water without asking...and only if I were very, very thirsty.

But that's just me.