Sorry for your loss.
Why the man bashing though? If a friend of mine lost her husband I would most certainly show up and pay my respects as well as ask if there is anything I can do or how I can help. That would certainly not be flocking to the widow like a fly, or fetishizing the widow in any way. It's just the right thing to do.
I think a lot of men would actually be concerned about approaching a widow romantically rather than finding her vulnerable. More likely than not, her heart and mind still belong to the deceased.
The flowers are admittedly very odd under the circumstances especially with no name attached. I can somewhat understand sending flowers and a card to express condolences, but such a delivery would obviously need to have a name to go along with it. I would not keep them actually. The best way not to rock the boat is to either re-gift them or put them in the trash. Provided that that's done, mentioning it will have no effect on the relationship.