Christmas Morning--Is the Coffee Ready?

[Vilandra]

This Christmas was my three month old DD's first.     My MIL and her boyfriend arrived at our home shortly before dinner on Christmas Eve and stayed until about 10am Christmas Day. 

Before going to bed Christmas Eve, we discussed the next morning--we told them that DD usually gets up around 7am, and so we would open presents then.  We told them that DD has a very short window when she wakes up in the morning before she's ready for a power nap (an hour if we're lucky, including her bottle).  DD's room is right next to the guest room and they assured us they'd hear her get up and we'd do presents then.

Christmas morning comes, DD wakes us up at 6:45.  We let her take her time waking up in her crib (unswaddle, etc.) before heading down to check out the tree.  We wait, and we wait, and we wait...DH starts a pot of coffee.  Keep waiting.  At this point I'm frustrated because we have a short window and it's diminishing...I head up to use the restroom in our bedroom and hear MIL and her boyfriend chatting.  So, they're definitely awake.  I tell DH and he and the dog head up to find out what the plan is. 

MIL's response?  'Oh, I was waiting to hear the coffeepot beep.'

We had to rush present opening and had a fussy DD for about half of presents (which wasn't a ton).  Not the Christmas morning my little family wanted.

What would you do in the future?  Knock on the door and wake them when DD gets up (even if you know they've heard her)?  Open presents when we want and if folks miss out, too bad?

Not a big blip on an otherwise awesome first Christmas, but her selfish attitude continues to irk!

[penelope2017]

I'm guessing maybe they thought a three month old isn't going to know the difference, rushing or not?

In the future I'd tell them the plan, but I wouldn't be scrambling to get up for present opening with a three month old. Years to come are going to obviously be more of an impact. Why did you need to rush? If you had plans to be a certain place at a certain time, or they did, I would have told them the night before. But I'm sorry, it never would have occurred to me I would have had to rush downstairs for 7 am for what amounts to a newborn opening presents.

[Shoo]

I'm not sure about the future, because your daughter will be a year older.  But I probably wouldn't have made my (and my guests) plans dependent on the schedule of a 3 month old baby.  I'd have probably let the guests sleep in a bit and planned for the gift opening to occur during her morning nap. 

[NyaChan]

I don't see anything wrong with knocking on the door to let a family member know you are about to start opening gifts.  If they choose to linger in their room after that, then start opening without them.  I think MIL's response about the coffee pot was a little weak - did she really expect that to be audible or a good signal of when to come downstairs? If she had given any indication of not being ok with the 7 am start time, I would almost think she had done it on purpose in some silly P/A move.

[JenJay]

I'm with the camp who suggest MIL probably didn't take "DD's waking time to DD's nap time" as a firm schedule, but rather a guideline. Maybe she didn't realize you wanted gift opening to be finished by nap time, but assumed the adults would pause while baby ate and went to sleep and then resume once Mom or Dad returned from putting her down? In all honesty that's what I'd expect.

As for the coffee pot comment, it sounded like a silly joke to me. Sometimes when DH asks me "When do you want to get up tomorrow?" I'll tell him "As soon as I finish the hot cup of coffee you're bringing me in bed!" Of course, that's not totally a joke, so maybe not a great example  .

[Mom2PBJ]

I think you should have probably waited until after her power nap.  That would most likely have been a better time of the morning for everyone to be up and dressed and for baby to be in a better mood.  In another couple of years your "baby" will be the one urging everyone to get up at 7:00 to open presents. 

[kareng57]

I truly think that you're over-thinking this.  Of course "baby's first Christmas" might be important to the parents, but the reality is that a 3-month-old won't have any idea as to why this day is different from any other day.

I would think that the present-opening should be on the adults' schedule rather that than the baby's.

[LadyL]

I have to agree that I wouldn't assume a 3 month olds presence/awakeness would literally determine when presents would be opened.

[NyaChan]

I'm a bit surprised by the responses.  MIL came to her son's house to celebrate Christmas with them.  The OP and her family let their guests know that they would be opening presents at 7 am.  Why should OP change her gift opening time when there was no indication that there is any need to do so?  No one said that getting up at that time was a hardship, and really while I enjoy sleeping in, 7 is not that early...  I don't think it matters that the OP wanted the early start time to get opening presents done before her baby's nap.  In its simplest form, OP and MIL made a plan to meet by 7 am.  MIL chose to be late to their meeting.  That is not on the OP.

[Shoo]

I'm a bit surprised by the responses.  MIL came to her son's house to celebrate Christmas with them.  The OP and her family let their guests know that they would be opening presents at 7 am.  Why should OP change her gift opening time when there was no indication that there is any need to do so?  No one said that getting up at that time was a hardship, and really while I enjoy sleeping in, 7 is not that early...  I don't think it matters that the OP wanted the early start time to get opening presents done before her baby's nap.  In its simplest form, OP and MIL made a plan to meet by 7 am.  MIL chose to be late to their meeting.  That is not on the OP.

Because the OP's plan was unrealistic, IMO.  She asked what she could do differently in the future.  That's hard to say because her baby will be a toddler a year from now, but several of us do have opinions about what she could have done differently this year. Sure, it doesn't make any difference now, but as a point of discussion, it's relevant.

[Yvaine]

I think MIL's response about the coffee pot was a little weak - did she really expect that to be audible or a good signal of when to come downstairs?

My new one sure is! I could see a person hearing coffee start, beginning to get up in a leisurely fashion, and figuring the beep would be a good indicator of "a few minutes have passed, time to get up for real." Kind of like a snooze button; more of an indicator of passing time than a need for the actual coffee itself.

[NyaChan]

I'm a bit surprised by the responses.  MIL came to her son's house to celebrate Christmas with them.  The OP and her family let their guests know that they would be opening presents at 7 am.  Why should OP change her gift opening time when there was no indication that there is any need to do so?  No one said that getting up at that time was a hardship, and really while I enjoy sleeping in, 7 is not that early...  I don't think it matters that the OP wanted the early start time to get opening presents done before her baby's nap.  In its simplest form, OP and MIL made a plan to meet by 7 am.  MIL chose to be late to their meeting.  That is not on the OP.

Because the OP's plan was unrealistic, IMO.  She asked what she could do differently in the future.  That's hard to say because her baby will be a toddler a year from now, but several of us do have opinions about what she could have done differently this year. Sure, it doesn't make any difference now, but as a point of discussion, it's relevant.

Ah, I guess that's where my thinking diverged.  I didn't think it was unrealistic to ask people to be ready by that time, because I didn't think the reason was as important as the fact that the request was agreed to.  If the timing of presents isn't really important to getting to other events in the day, then I guess I'd agree with the suggestions to be more flexible.       

[Sharnita]

I think that OP's plan would be reasopnable even if there was no baby.  If I am a guest and the host wants to open gifts at x time then that's what time gifts are opened.  If I don't like it then I will definitely make other plans in the future but as the guest I don't have the authority to change/ignore the schedule. 

If I wanted to get up at 7 to open gifts but the host indicated that they wanted to fo it between baby's afternoon nap and dinner would I be justified in disregarding that as just a suggestion and doing it on my preferred timeline instead?

OP, FWIW, we did exactly what you planned with my family and my 9 month old nephew this CHristmas.  It worked well so I can attest that it is realistic if everyone is on the same page.

[Shoo]

Maybe unrealistic isn't the word I should have used.  I think what I really mean is that expecting guests to get out of bed when it's still dark outside to accommodate the schedule of a 3 month old infant who has absolutely no idea what's going on is kind of ... unnecessary. It's one thing when there are kids involved, who wake up early out of excitement and bounce off the walls until everybody is up. But this situation was different.  I'd have made it easy on my guests.

[KenveeB]

I'm a bit surprised by the responses.  MIL came to her son's house to celebrate Christmas with them.  The OP and her family let their guests know that they would be opening presents at 7 am.  Why should OP change her gift opening time when there was no indication that there is any need to do so?  No one said that getting up at that time was a hardship, and really while I enjoy sleeping in, 7 is not that early...  I don't think it matters that the OP wanted the early start time to get opening presents done before her baby's nap.  In its simplest form, OP and MIL made a plan to meet by 7 am.  MIL chose to be late to their meeting.  That is not on the OP.

Because the OP's plan was unrealistic, IMO.  She asked what she could do differently in the future.  That's hard to say because her baby will be a toddler a year from now, but several of us do have opinions about what she could have done differently this year. Sure, it doesn't make any difference now, but as a point of discussion, it's relevant.

Maybe it was unrealistic to you, but it's a perfectly normal time IMO to get up.  Everyone's going to be different on that.  If it was unrealistic to MIL, then the time to mention that was the night before when the OP said extremely clearly that they would be doing present opening at 7am.  She should've either asked for a later time then or told them not to wait on her.  Once she agreed, she agreed, and it was very rude to bail out on it.  My advice to the OP in the future would be if they aren't down when you said you'd start opening, knock quietly on the door and let them know you're about to start.  Then start.