Author Topic: We Should Have Been Consulted Before Your Engagement!  (Read 5620 times)

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WillyNilly

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Re: We Should Have Been Consulted Before Your Engagement!
« Reply #15 on: December 30, 2011, 02:49:30 PM »
I think letting the family - especially kids - know before the media, before facebook, etc is a reasonable expectation.  But before the engagement?  No way!  One of the things about getting engaged is the excitement and newness of it.  I personally am not a fan of a person telling much of anyone in advance of proposing - the proposed to should get the news first so they can share it and share in the excitement.  If everyone is told in advance, then there the risk that when it happens its 'old news' and those being told are no longer excited about hearing it.

Sleepless

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Re: We Should Have Been Consulted Before Your Engagement!
« Reply #16 on: December 30, 2011, 04:16:30 PM »
I'd discount this completely. There is not one actual quote from a family member, merely "sources say", which means this could have been drug out of thin air.

The etiquette of many tabloids leaves more to be desired than the etiquette of most rock stars, and that's saying a lot.

AlwaysQuizzical

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Re: We Should Have Been Consulted Before Your Engagement!
« Reply #17 on: December 30, 2011, 11:19:50 PM »
I don't think it's an issue worth complaining about or causing a family rift over, I just think it's polite.

violinp

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Re: We Should Have Been Consulted Before Your Engagement!
« Reply #18 on: December 31, 2011, 02:58:25 AM »
I'd discount this completely. There is not one actual quote from a family member, merely "sources say", which means this could have been drug out of thin air.

The etiquette of many tabloids leaves more to be desired than the etiquette of most rock stars, and that's saying a lot.

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Miss Misha

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Re: We Should Have Been Consulted Before Your Engagement!
« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2012, 04:58:29 PM »
As a stepmother in a family that includes stepparents who married into the family when the children were grown, you (the general you) might be unpleasantly surprised by the amount of entitlement that comes out when a parent decides to remarry, especially when a beloved parent has died and the surviving spouse has moved on.  IMHE, it seems as though there is no agreement on what constitutes an amount of respectable time between the death and the remarriage.  A year?  6 months? A decade?  In my family, all have been fertile battlegrounds.

That being said, when I married my husband, who had teenaged children, we did talk to them privately before we announced our engagement to the whole family.  However, no press releases were issued.   ;D  As others have posted, I think it's good manners and better for family relations if you announce to one's immediate family first, then "go public".

SamiHami

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Re: We Should Have Been Consulted Before Your Engagement!
« Reply #20 on: January 12, 2012, 09:53:23 PM »
I think this is more a relationship issue than an etiquette one, but if the family complaining are his children, I agree with them.  There's no way I would agree to marry someone without consulting my kids first.  That doesn't mean I would need their permission, but I think a  heads up is good.

I would agree kids should get a heads up if, and this a big if, if they are minors or still living/dependent on the parent (for example a 20 year old college student isn't a "minor" but might still be a household member and also still fully supported by their parent).

But Steven Tyler's kids are full grown, self supporting adults, so I really don't think that has any bearing on the situation.  I also don't think any actually ever were raised by or lived with their dad as kids.

He has minor children from his most recent marriage. Mia and Liv are not his only kids.

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minky

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Re: We Should Have Been Consulted Before Your Engagement!
« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2012, 09:35:31 PM »
I think this is more a relationship issue than an etiquette one, but if the family complaining are his children, I agree with them.  There's no way I would agree to marry someone without consulting my kids first.  That doesn't mean I would need their permission, but I think a  heads up is good.

I would agree kids should get a heads up if, and this a big if, if they are minors or still living/dependent on the parent (for example a 20 year old college student isn't a "minor" but might still be a household member and also still fully supported by their parent).

But Steven Tyler's kids are full grown, self supporting adults, so I really don't think that has any bearing on the situation.  I also don't think any actually ever were raised by or lived with their dad as kids.

He has minor children from his most recent marriage. Mia and Liv are not his only kids.

His youngest kids aren't minors.  I thought they were, too, so I looked it up.  They were born in 1989 and 1992.