BG: A friend of mine (Jane) had gotten out of an abusive relationship after he cost her a job in her field, had moved back to the big city into a house but was still working part time in her field in the old town, and seemed to be getting her life on track. After moving into the house, she discovered a sever toxic mold problem throughout the whole basement and confirmed by tests. She offered her landlord a deal, he would take $200 off the rent and she would repair the house as she had lots of experience doing mold removal and renovations (having worked with a friend of ours who owned a restoration company for a year). He agreed, they started the renovations and were almost done except the bathroom when the first month to take the rent off came around. The landlord slapped an eviction notice on their door Nov 7th. They went to court on the 10th where he promptly lost...big time. She and her roommate told the judge that they would leave but it was either pay rent for November or move out. The landlord told the judge he wanted them out. The judge agreed and they began the process of looking for a new place. Her roommate worked two jobs and they had 5 cats and 2 dogs between them and after looking at a few places and not being able to agree on a place together decided to find separate accommodations.
Dec 1st quickly approached and Jane was not able to find a place, pack again, work, and go to court, so I offered to let her stay for a month. She was really grateful and said she just needed a place to crash for a month or two while she and her dad looked for a house that he would buy and she would pay for. She also said she'd be gone at least 3 days a week at her job in old town and her daughters (she and her ex share custody but they live with him) would be visiting but they would probably go home to their dad's and not stay over because there's not a lot of room here right now with all her stuff and my stuff and 7 cats. I was ok with her daughters coming over (they are 11 and 13 and really good kids) and even spending the night occasionally. She is staying in the master bedroom because I hadn't decided what to do with that room and it was just full of boxes. I'm in a smaller room next to the master because if I have my bedroom in a big room I fill it full of things and then can't sleep. She is not paying rent or utilities because I had hoped she could take that money and put it towards the down payment on her house. BG
My usual week day schedule is in bed by 11 up at 6 for work at 8 and I work 8-18 hour days depending at a pretty mentally demanding job. She swore that on weeknights, even if she was up late she wouldn't disturb me, and she has kept her word...until...
She let me know last Wed that she would have her daughters all week and they would be staying here. Ok, not really happy about that announcement but it's Christmas and she's had a rough time and well, her kids are good kids. Thursday night they went to sleep at 7PM. A little unusual, but hey, maybe it's been a rough day. They woke up at 10 and were up until 3AM talking and laughing. Now the talking part was ok because they kept their voices down and I can sleep through that. The laughing, not so much. It carries through the walls and wakes me up. I tried to ignore it but I had to go get my noise cancellation headphones just to get some sleep and was not a very happy camper in the morning. She was supper apologetic and so were her daughters when we talked about it. I let her know that if I didn't have to work the next day, I didn't care what time they stay up to, but during the work week, please have quiet time after 11. She asked what had kept me up and I said the laughter but I understood and wasn't upset, just really tired. She swore it was a fluke and there would be no more issues. She kept her word on all the days I did not have to go to work. They were in bed and quiet by 11.
I had to go back to work Tuesday, and on Monday night, they were up until 2AM. She had put on a funny movie for them to watch and they were laughing every 10 min or so. It was just long enough for me to start to fall asleep and then jerk awake. I finally got up at 2 and went and knocked on the door and she looked at me and said, "CRUD MONKEYS! are we keeping you up." I said, "I'm sorry, it's the laughter and I have a long day tomorrow." She apologized, turned it off and I stumbled back to bed. That was the last time I saw her. They were asleep when I got up on Tuesday and gone when I got home. She hasn't been back to the house. It's possible that she took her kids back to their dad's and went to her job in other town but she hasn't gone the entire time she's been here.
I was really sorry I was making them turn off the movie and I really felt bad that I couldn't sleep through the noise as I know how much her girls mean to her and I didn't want to be the big meany. I was planning on apologizing about being short and grumpy (when I'm sleep deprived, I get cranky). I thought I had been pretty polite, but her being MIA for two days makes me think I wasn't. The thing is, now that I've gotten some sleep, I don't think I have anything to apologize for, but that's why I'm coming to you all.
1) Was I rude?
2) Should I txt her and apologize?
