I'm not. Really

[blue2000]

In my experience, he may not even know how much he is bothering you with this.

I am 5 out of 5 on your list, and I have people who INSIST I just have to be a lesbian - and yet these are fairly nice people who would get upset if someone else teased me about my sexual preferences.

Apparently if I said I was, they would leave me alone, but since I deny it, I'm fair game. Go figure.

I would say, sit him down and tell him this is bothering you. If he doesn't stop, you are well within your rights to tell him where to put his assumptions (hopefully someplace very painful ).

[Ko-Ko]

Hey I just remembered! My forum name is the name of a *male* character from the Mikado! Wow, the evidence is really piling up!

It sounds like your classmate should be added to "the list."

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs —
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat —
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that —
All persons who on meeting you, insist that you're like that —
And all third persons who on spoiling tκte-α-tκtes insist —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

Chorus.

He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of 'em be missed.

That's great. Thanks for the laugh

[Slartibartfast]

Sadly, the best way to "prove" you're straight is to start dating someone of the opposite sex.  And then have frequent PDA in front of the people who doubt you.

A close second is to have a "boyfriend" (or girlfriend) who conveniently lives at least two states away, and who never visits, but calls you occasionally.  You just have to pretend to talk on the phone once in a while, and buy yourself cutesy presents for your birthday so you can gush to everyone about how thoughtful your boyfriend/girlfriend is!

I agree that people should NEVER talk about someone's orientation unless the person in question brought it up *during that conversation* (no fair hearkening back to six months ago) and wants to talk about it.  There are g a y people "in the closet" or who don't want to share that bit of their lives with particular other acquaintances, there are straight people who just don't want to hear everyone's opinion on the matter or who don't want other people to treat them differently just because they've proven themselves straight, and there are people in between who aren't ready to take a stand one way or the other.  Just about the only time talking it's appropriate to bring up orientation, IMHO, is once you're dating someone and before you decide to actually have sex - it's fair to ask a bit about their background (and previous partners of either gender) before making that decision.

"So Miss Slartibart, *OCCUPATION* - is that like if you're straight or something?"  (teenage library patron asked me this today while filling out a MySpace profile)

[ladiedeathe]

Tell him once more that the subject is not up for discussion- with anyone. If he continues, most schools can address this under their sexual harassment/hostile environment guidelines. Do let him know that if it is brought up again you will be following up with the school to ensure that it stops.

Good luck!

[Bijou]

Hi everybody! I'm new to this forum, and I was hoping you could help me with a rather unusual problem. I am unfortunately aquainted with a person who has made a number of incorrect assumptions about me. One of these assumptions is that I am g*a*y. The following are some of the "evidence."

1. Somebody mentioned a Melissa Etheridge song, and I mentioned within his hearing that it was a good song. Apparently, I listen to "lesbian music."

2. My hair used to be very short.

3. I am alto, not a soprano.

4. I like to listen to Queen.

5. I like Monty Python.

Now, obviously none of these things mean anything, (especially the last two examples, which involve g*a*y men, so I don't understand how that could have anything to do with me). The biggest problem is, I am pretty sure that he isn't trying to be a jerk. I believe that he really thinks he is trying to help me. He has also tried to get me to join the g*a*y-Straight Alliance. I have tried talking to him politely, but this does nothing. He has convinced himself that I am not true to myself or something stupid like that. In a way, it would be easier if he had been doing this to be a jerk, because at least I could just tell him to shove off. How can I get him to stop without looking like a jerk to someone who thinks he is helping? Thanks for reading.

If he is g*a*y maybe he thinks you are not being up front and out in the open about something that is important to him.  But, if he is or isn't, if you are or are not (I know, you're not) it isn't his business, nor is it his place to judge, advise or anything else related to your life.  And, I might add, he IS being a jerk by getting into your business.  I would tell him to get a life.

[Gileswench]

Add me to the list of women on this forum very surprised to have a new sexuality donated to them via this person's odd assumptions. I'm five for five on the list. In fact, I have most of Melissa Etheridge's albums. Hey, we sing in the same range, so it's great! And I love her lyrics.

My husband is a fellow big fan of Monty Python and Queen. Does that mean he's got a secret he's been keeping really well hidden all these years? He has long hair and sings a mean falsetto! Oh! And he recently spent a couple days teaching himself a lot of Elton John songs on piano.

[Crazy TKD_girl]

Hi everybody! I'm new to this forum, and I was hoping you could help me with a rather unusual problem. I am unfortunately aquainted with a person who has made a number of incorrect assumptions about me. One of these assumptions is that I am g*a*y. The following are some of the "evidence."

1. Somebody mentioned a Melissa Etheridge song, and I mentioned within his hearing that it was a good song. Apparently, I listen to "lesbian music."

2. My hair used to be very short.

3. I am alto, not a soprano.

4. I like to listen to Queen.

5. I like Monty Python.

Now, obviously none of these things mean anything, (especially the last two examples, which involve g*a*y men, so I don't understand how that could have anything to do with me). The biggest problem is, I am pretty sure that he isn't trying to be a jerk. I believe that he really thinks he is trying to help me. He has also tried to get me to join the g*a*y-Straight Alliance. I have tried talking to him politely, but this does nothing. He has convinced himself that I am not true to myself or something stupid like that. In a way, it would be easier if he had been doing this to be a jerk, because at least I could just tell him to shove off. How can I get him to stop without looking like a jerk to someone who thinks he is helping? Thanks for reading.

Then, I, obviously, MUST be a lesbian as well, cuz those 5 things are SO me, also. I guess I should stop the crush I have on my TKD instructor, then, huh? Darn shame, too-- he's really awesome.
Have you tried hitting him with one of those clue-by-fours?

[FoxPaws]

Well.....you could show up on Monday in a plaid flannel shirt, thank him profusely for helping you find your "true self", and tell him if he so much as looks in your direction again, your new girlfriend is going to beat the crap out of him.

(That was intended as a joke.)

I used to work with a woman who was cute, girly, dressed in skirts and high heels, and never without makeup, a manicure, and perfectly coordinated accessories. Guys would comment on what a "babe" she was, and those of us that worked with her would get a good giggle as "Babe" was openly g*a*y.

[housewife2k]

I am married with three kids. I am still asked if I am a lesbian. My step sister is often asked if she is a lesbian as well. Recently, she gathered all of her friends, family, and some of the people who were insistant that she must be g*a*y together and came out of the closet as....wait for it...LIKING BOYS!!
I found it hilarious as did her friends and family, accusers told her she was being rude, she just cocked an eyebrow and walked away.

[Madd Hatter]

I too must have been wrong about my orientation as I fit all 5 criteria also!     Hmmm, my kids would be surprised!  And does that mean I have to stop lusting after some of my favorite guys on tv?  Darn it all!  lol

[Pixie]

Based on those criteria, I'm a lesbian, too!  Won't my husband of almost 17 years be surprised?!

Uh-oh...... me too. Except for #1, and  I used to be a soprano, but that was many years ago.

There goes that mad, passionate affair with George Clooney I've been dreaming of.... sigh...

[Ko-Ko]

Thanks for the advice everyone. It's funny, this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. Last time was when a girl in my gym class made comments about how I hung out with boys during gym, and insinuated that this was because I was a lesbian. I told her that that was only because I was so straight that I wouldn't handle being anywhere with no boys around. Besides she was the one hanging out with girls. That shut her up.

[audrey1962]

So now you're a lesbian b/c you hang out w/boys? Oh geez!

If this were happening to me I would cut off contact with those people (after having corrected them once). It's really just not appropriate to comment on other's orientation, especially after someone has stated their orientation. It doesn't matter if they think they're being "helpful," they're not and they need to know that, and sometimes the only way people learn is when other people cut them out of their lives.

[Clara Bow]

I had short hair, love Melissa Ethridge, Queen, Elton John and Nathan Lane, Monty Python, flannel, jeans, I don't sing, I have mostly male friends...oh GOD! I knew I was hiding something...
*how to tell hubby I'm a lesbian!!!???*
People in college the first time around thought I was a lesbian because my roommate and best friend was. Also my dear friend Brian (who I met back then) is gay as were many others of our circle...I'm not. But frankly there are worse things to be mistaken for. I'd rather people thnink I was a lesbian than a child molester, or a Nazi or something. It's not the worst thing in the world....

[gjcva1]

Based on those criteria, I'm a lesbian, too!  Won't my husband of almost 17 years be surprised?!

i was thinking the same thing, as to how i can break it to my husband of almost 30 years that, hey dude, i'm going the other way, because i fit these criteria too!!!

what an absolute idiot.  please OP, ignore him.  he just ain't worth your time and trouble.