I'm not. Really

[blue2000]

Highlander, ooo, ~drool~, I could go for that.

The men's clothing thing? Some of it is cheaper. And sturdier, too, for my line of work.
If it would help, I can put lace and glitter on it, but I think that glittery plaid flannel would look a little funny.

[Ko-Ko]

I am unfortunately aquainted with a person who has made a number of incorrect assumptions about me. One of these assumptions is that I am g*a*y.

5. I also like Monty Python. (I can sing the Galaxy Song from memory and often do!) I've never heard of this as being a sign that someone is g*a*y, though.

It doesn't really, but the fool thinks it matters because Graham Chapman (RIP) was gay. Nevermind the fact that the others were all straight. I think I'll just ignore him from now on.

[Gileswench]

If it would help, I can put lace and glitter on it, but I think that glittery plaid flannel would look a little funny.

But darling, I think it would be too, too divine! LOL!

I learned not too long ago that a couple of people have tried to tell my beloved that since I write some (a very small amount, actually) slash I must be g a y. I would think the fact that I write mostly het fanfiction would be a better indication of a sexual interest in other women. After all, in the slash there are no women involved in the focal relationship!

[TheaterDiva1]

Wow Chartreuse, I didn't realize so many others went through this as well. Hey I noticed the French Taunter under your name. You like Monty Python too! Ooooo 

I've also been meaning to comment on the French Taunter - I'm a Monty Python fan as well!

If this guy gives you a hard time, just say "Ni!" to him! 

[cheyne]

With those criteria, many of us would be g*a*y.  I meet 4 out of 5 also, (my hair isn't short) and to add to the list:

6.  I wear jeans, workboots, and insulated coveralls (in winter) to work.

7.  I drive a forklift and lift 50 lb. boxes and bags all day.

I'll be sure to tell my husband that I am now officially g*a*y.

[Bijou]

. How can I get him to stop without looking like a jerk to someone who thinks he is helping? Thanks for reading.

You have received many fine responses on how to handle this correctly, but if I were you I'd smile sweetly and say "Darling, just because I don't want to date you, it doesn't mean I'm a lesbian." And if he kicks off I'd smile sweetly again and say "I'm soooo sorry, I thought that you couldn't accept I'm straight because I wasn't interested in you." It is tried and tested, but it probably isn't the best you can do.

I like it! 

[Ko-Ko]

Wow, I didn't think my post would generate so much interest! Thanks for all your responses. He hasn't mentioned this since I first told all of you about this, but if he does, I'll remain firm and refuse to discuss it anymore. I think my problem was I was too busy arguing with his logic that I never thought about politely requesting that he put a sock in it. I guess obvious solutions are never really obvious unless someone else points them out.   I just wish people could just accept others for who they really are and leave them alone. Anyway, thanks for reading!

Ko-Ko

[RubySlippers]

Quote:  You have received many fine responses on how to handle this correctly, but if I were you I'd smile sweetly and say "Darling, just because I don't want to date you, it doesn't mean I'm a lesbian."

My favourite: 
Him - Are you a lesbian?
Her - Why, are you the alternative (with a  )

[freakyfemme]

Hi everybody! I'm new to this forum, and I was hoping you could help me with a rather unusual problem. I am unfortunately aquainted with a person who has made a number of incorrect assumptions about me. One of these assumptions is that I am g*a*y. The following are some of the "evidence."

1. Somebody mentioned a Melissa Etheridge song, and I mentioned within his hearing that it was a good song. Apparently, I listen to "lesbian music."

2. My hair used to be very short.

3. I am an alto, not a soprano.

4. I like to listen to Queen.

5. I like Monty Python.

Now, obviously none of these things mean anything, (especially the last two examples, which involve g*a*y men, so I don't understand how that could have anything to do with me). The biggest problem is, I am pretty sure that he isn't trying to be a jerk. I believe that he really thinks he is trying to help me. He has also tried to get me to join the g*a*y-Straight Alliance. I have tried talking to him politely, but this does nothing. He has convinced himself that I am not true to myself or something stupid like that. In a way, it would be easier if he had been doing this to be a jerk, because at least I could just tell him to shove off. How can I get him to stop without looking like a jerk to someone who thinks he is helping? Thanks for reading.

Let's see.....I'm a typical, somewhat "feminine"-looking female, with longish hair (just below shoulder length), painted nails, minimal make-up, and just *one* hole in each ear......so, by your co-worker's logic, I must be straight, right?  But wait....no.....I like Monty Python.....so that makes me a lesbian.....except, wait a sec, I forgot to mention that I sing soprano 2 (sometimes we sing the soprano 2 part, sometimes we sing the alto part, and sometimes there's only one soprano part, depending on how the music is arranged), so......what *am* I supposed to be?  Lol. 

[Ko-Ko]

Let's see.....I'm a typical, somewhat "feminine"-looking female, with longish hair (just below shoulder length), painted nails, minimal make-up, and just *one* hole in each ear......so, by your co-worker's logic, I must be straight, right?  But wait....no.....I like Monty Python.....so that makes me a lesbian.....except, wait a sec, I forgot to mention that I sing soprano 2 (sometimes we sing the soprano 2 part, sometimes we sing the alto part, and sometimes there's only one soprano part, depending on how the music is arranged), so......what *am* I supposed to be?  Lol. 

I guess he'd consider you bisexual then Come to think of it, I wonder why he didn't suggest that about me? It seems like it would be much easier to insist that I am bisexual rather than gay as I am slightly girly myself. Also, anybody who has ever been attracted to anyone of the opposite sex cannot be gay, but there is still a chance that they could be bisexual. Well, I never said this guy was smart. 

Ko-Ko

[Ferrets]

But frankly there are worse things to be mistaken for.

Oh, yes. I'm bisexual, and my best friend V is a straight woman who participates in the local LGBT Pride march with me every year (as a lot of straight people do to show their support).

A couple of years ago, we were striding down the main road on this march with linked arms and a placard each. We passed the pub where I worked then, and say a lot of the old regulars at the wondows.  Several of whom saw me, looked startled, and then began nodding and smiling in a terribly understanding manner and putting their thumbs up at me... 

On the front of the signs were some general g*a*y-rights phrases. On the back, we then realised, V's said "OUR LOVE IS NO LONGER CRIMINAL". Ah...

I said to her, teasingly, "They'll all be asking about my secret girlfriend at work on Monday!"

She replied, "I'm impressed they think I could pull you!"

Bless her 

ETA: I'm not complaining that a group of customers who frequented my workplace were showing that they were trying to be nice. But the whole "It's OK, I still like you" and 'being terribly understanding' can grate a bit at times... (And yes, I know that most of the time it comes from the best of intentions, so I just smile!).

freakyfemme, I agree with you it does sound like this guy is also acting with the best of intentions (or so he thinks!).  However, he is being entirely inappropriate, getting ruder, and this is essentially harassment - to incessantly bang on (no pun intended!) about another individual's sexuality is horrendously annoying at best, and threatening at worst.

Do you know his own sexual orientation? (I ask as, if he keeps openly talking about the whole gay-Straight Alliance thing, then it is likely he is also open about being gay/bi/straight). 

If so, could you try asking him quietly how he would feel if you kept trying to convince him that he wasn't REALLY gay/straight, he was fooling himself, he simply MUST actually be straight/gay because he...[and then make up some really ridiculously overblown, stereotypical examples of gayness/straightness, which display how daft his own words to you are].

If this doesn't work, you will have to be very firm and stern and sharp with him, but without sounding defensive (though you have every right to be...but he would probably take that as confirmation you were still "hiding" it [sigh]).

Good luck!

P.S. I sing tenor in my choir (officially) and I'm only "halfway gay", so to speak, myself, so I fail to see what the heck singing alto has to do with it! And one of our completely straight male basses can do a very nice alto...

[Ferrets]

By the way...can somebody explain why "gay" is filtered when (despite the word being capable of being used in a perjorative manner) it's not an offensive term in itself?

And why, inconsistently, "lesbian" and "bisexual" aren't?

Just wondering!

[T'Mar of Vulcan]

Oh, yes. I'm bisexual, and my best friend V is a straight woman who participates in the local LGBT Pride march with me every year (as a lot of straight people do to show their support).

I always mean to go to support my g*a*y male friends, but somehow I always manage to miss it by a day or two. Sometimes they can be such "typical" males; they forget to inform me! But I have a cool idea for a sign, that actually I read on the Net. Imagine a g*a*y pride triangle with the words "SLASH FANS HAVE MORE PRIDE" over it. No one in this country will even get it, but so what!!

Several of whom saw me, looked startled, and then began nodding and smiling in a terribly understanding manner and putting their thumbs up at me... 

Trust me, that's not limited to straight people's atttitude to g*a*y people. I get that a lot when people start discussing, say, The Apprentice or Survivor or something, and I'm asked what I watch and I say, "Oh, my favourite show is Stargate Atlantis." Every time, they get this "let's tolerate the loony" look on their faces and try to be supportive, "Oh, is it good?" And just by the looks on their faces I know they don't give a flying you-know-what, but they want to humour the crazy . I say, "Yes, it's very good. Who do you think will get voted off next?" There's nothing like pity-support.    When I was younger I'd maybe ask, "So, which ep do you like?" (Usually about Star Trek back then.) And people would say, "Oh, the one where Kirk and Spock beam down to this planet." And you know they never really even watch, because if they did they'd know that in 90% of the episodes, Kirk and Spock beam down to a planet!!

Being different isn't just limited to sexual orientation. Here, being a sci-fi fan will make people think you should be locked up. Everyone in the country is addicted to sports. My father used to watch cricket and talk about how exciting it was. Come ON, the game went on for DAYS, and most of it was people standing around. Snooze-fest like you won't believe! With the result that if something doesn't have aliens, I'm pretty much not interested. But then everyone thinks I'm, you know, nuts.

P.S. I sing tenor in my choir (officially) and I'm only "halfway g*a*y", so to speak, myself, so I fail to see what the heck singing alto has to do with it!

I can't sing at all, for what it's worth!

P.S.: That pic of Sinead O'Connor? My hair is only a TEENSY bit longer than that!

[Slartibartfast]

By the way...can somebody explain why "g*a*y" is filtered when (despite the word being capable of being used in a perjorative manner) it's not an offensive term in itself?

And why, inconsistently, "lesbian" and "bisexual" aren't?

Just wondering!

I was wondering this too, but I'm guessing because otherwise some boards using this software could be filled with "That's so g*a*y!"  I would be more upset if lesbian and bisexual were filtered also, because that would suggest a whole different reason they were filtered :-|

[ShadesOfGrey]

I am guessing the reason bisexual isnt filtered is because it is a scientific term, its counterparts being heterosexual and homosexual

g@y, probably bc it is the most commonly used (of the 3) as an offensive term, whereas 'lesbian' isnt used as an insult...

just guessing.