Author Topic: My clothes are church appropriate!  (Read 63139 times)

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hobish

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #15 on: January 09, 2012, 05:24:02 PM »
"I prefer not to talk about anyone's bosoms in church." or "I'm glad your bosoms are covered, too." :)
--- Edited to cut out some replies I think are indeed too rude.

Gosh, I am really sorry. I hate when people comment negatively on others' clothing choices to them. I can't think of a single moderately kind thing to say back except, "OK" or "Fine."

Oh, my goodness, i like that one a lot :) It's funny, it's polite, and it gets the point across, i think.

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Amava

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #16 on: January 09, 2012, 05:40:19 PM »
This may be a cultural difference, but, is she even supposed to talk, no matter how quietly, during the service?
I don't often go to church, but when I do go, the only thing one might hear during the service are a few toddlers saying something and being shushed. For the rest, nobody gives a peep except for the prayers that are said together.

I'm not sure of course because we all live in different parts of the world, but against my background she was so far out of line that she was starting to see a whole new line at the horizon... And the etiquette here would be to not reply at all. Though the whole community would probably be giving her stunned looks.  :o

violinp

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #17 on: January 09, 2012, 05:42:10 PM »
This may be a cultural difference, but, is she even supposed to talk, no matter how quietly, during the service?
I don't often go to church, but when I do go, the only thing one might hear during the service are a few toddlers saying something and being shushed. For the rest, nobody gives a peep except for the prayers that are said together.

I'm not sure of course because we all live in different parts of the world, but against my background she was so far out of line that she was starting to see a whole new line at the horizon... And the etiquette here would be to not reply at all. Though the whole community would probably be giving her stunned looks.  :o

You're very lucky. Everyone here talks during the preludes and I can barely hear myself think, let alone prepare for worship.
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exitzero

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #18 on: January 09, 2012, 06:57:27 PM »
You should send her to our church when we have pajama day. Bet she wouldn't ever complain again.  :)

diesel_darlin

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #19 on: January 09, 2012, 07:34:26 PM »
You should send her to our church when we have pajama day. Bet she wouldn't ever complain again.  :)


Or Hawaiian shirt day, or Hillbilly day, or you get the point! ;D

This is one of the reasons I love, love, LOVE my church. The elders often dress up in their "Sunday best", but the rest of us are usually wearing pretty blouses and jeans, or t-shirts and tennis shoes, or comfy dresses. Cowboy boots are worn quite a bit also.

In my opinion, if this lady has enough brain space in church to belittle the OP over her outfits, she isnt at church for the right reason.
OutdoorGirl, your friend's reply was wonderful!  :)

gramma dishes

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #20 on: January 09, 2012, 08:10:53 PM »
If that doesn't work, you might ask the pastor or elders for assistance.

It could be worth doing that anyway- her behaviour could easily put off potential new members of the congregation.

I agree.  This may well be a reason not too many people in your age group are currently attending this particular church. 

If even the pastor implies though that maybe your clothing is indeed a little inappropriate, maybe it's time to seek out a new congregation that actually remembers why we are in the church in the first place.  Hint:  It's NOT to critique other people's apparel.

aiki

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #21 on: January 09, 2012, 08:27:08 PM »
I should add that this woman's behavior isn't connected to dementia or similar problems: I've known her many years, and she's always prized her bluntness. 

I have to say, dementia was my first thought here, but since you think it's not, I'd address the issue here.

"Mrs Blunt, I am trying very hard to be polite to you, but I need to remind you that you are not my mother, and it is not your business to criticize my dress. Please keep it to yourself." 
"A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude."  - Oscar Wilde

Iris

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #22 on: January 09, 2012, 09:25:42 PM »


I, of course, am headed straight to hell, but the urge to flash her and say, "here ya go" would be overwhelming.

Room in that handbasket for one more?

My very best and politest response would be my patented Iris Death Stare TM. The one that leaves people wondering whether I'd really tear out their jugular...
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kitty-cat

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #23 on: January 09, 2012, 09:29:35 PM »
If that doesn't work, you might ask the pastor or elders for assistance.

It could be worth doing that anyway- her behaviour could easily put off potential new members of the congregation.

I agree.  This may well be a reason not too many people in your age group are currently attending this particular church. 

If even the pastor implies though that maybe your clothing is indeed a little inappropriate, maybe it's time to seek out a new congregation that actually remembers why we are in the church in the first place.  Hint:  It's NOT to critique other people's apparel.

*southern accent* But I thought that was the point of church. For everyone to get together once a week and compare clothing!

:P




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gramma dishes

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #24 on: January 09, 2012, 09:30:53 PM »
If that doesn't work, you might ask the pastor or elders for assistance.

It could be worth doing that anyway- her behaviour could easily put off potential new members of the congregation.

I agree.  This may well be a reason not too many people in your age group are currently attending this particular church. 

If even the pastor implies though that maybe your clothing is indeed a little inappropriate, maybe it's time to seek out a new congregation that actually remembers why we are in the church in the first place.  Hint:  It's NOT to critique other people's apparel.

*southern accent* But I thought that was the point of church. For everyone to get together once a week and compare clothing!

:P

LOL!  I stand corrected!   ;D

iradney

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #25 on: January 10, 2012, 01:41:20 AM »
I think in this case, it might be prudent to get the pastor involved. I think the lady is being terribly petty and judgemental, and as it is happening in the church, I feel the pastor may be able to handle this.
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camlan

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #26 on: January 10, 2012, 09:01:29 AM »
I once witnessed a similar situation to the OP--a young woman was accosted by an older woman, who was pointing out all the ways the younger woman's clothing was not suitable for church. The younger woman was dressed in a calf-length denim skirt, a button-down shirt and a cardigan. A bit casual maybe, but since many of the people at my church wear jeans to Mass, not at all inappropriate.

The younger woman listened politely and waited until the older woman finished up her tirade. Then she smiled, said, "Well, at least I'm here!" and walked away.
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Coley

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #27 on: January 10, 2012, 09:03:32 AM »
For some reason, this situation reminds me of the Bible passage in Luke 20:45 about the widow's mite. I think it's the part about the teachers of the law and the flowing robes that is speaking to me.

To me, what you're encountering sounds like an inflated sense of self-importance. There's an implicit assumption that you should take heed of her wardrobe advice. She may even believe that she's being helpful. Although I may be reading more into this story than what's there, it almost sounds to me like she judges whether people are church-worthy based on their attire. I have no doubt that this judgment occurs in many congregations; however, that she would feel compelled to voice it is something else entirely.

Of all the responses I've seen, "How kind of you to take an interest" is the one that seems most appropriate to me. I'd follow that with a dose of bean dip. With strong eye contact and tone, it could put a stop to her intrusions. If it doesn't work the first time, repeat as needed. I would suggest not engaging her on this topic or attempting to defend yourself. If you show complete disinterest, she will find it less interesting to accost you.

Last, there's the issue of her approaching you during Communion. While her topic of conversation is unwelcome, the fact that she's interrupting your Communion meditation could be considered a bigger picture problem. You could address that with her rather than the topic of clothing as well.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2012, 09:05:01 AM »
The younger woman listened politely and waited until the older woman finished up her tirade. Then she smiled, said, "Well, at least I'm here!" and walked away.

What a perfect response!
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Twik

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Re: My clothes are church appropriate!
« Reply #29 on: January 10, 2012, 11:22:18 AM »
I think in this case, it might be prudent to get the pastor involved. I think the lady is being terribly petty and judgemental, and as it is happening in the church, I feel the pastor may be able to handle this.

I agree - this sort of behaviour is not appropriate if the pastor wants a happy congregation. Her "bluntness" may be causing problems for other people as well.

At worst, you can then say, once, "the pastor has confirmed that I am dressed appropriately. If you have any further issues, discuss it with him".
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