Author Topic: AGH we didn't bring gifts  (Read 2336 times)

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EMuir

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AGH we didn't bring gifts
« on: January 10, 2012, 04:41:58 PM »
We got together with my sister's family just after Christmas.  My partner and I exchange gifts with my sister and her boyfriend every year.  This gathering had both sister's adult kids and her boyfriend's adult kids in attendance, and would be the big "Christmas gathering" because we couldn't all get together on the actual day.

I thought I understood that, as in other years when we had similar gatherings, we'd all just give presents to those we usually did.   Everyone would have presents to unwrap that way.  We aren't very close to any of the adult children.

Imagine my surprise when my spouse and I got gifts from most of the adult children!  We hadn't brought anything for any of them, since we'd never exchanged in past years.  I managed to not show my dismay, and did enjoy the gifts.

What do we do?  Send them belated gifts?  And what to do next year?  Our budget isn't up to spending another $100 at Christmastime on gifts for people we barely know!  I'm not sure why this happened or why we weren't warned. I'd actually rather not exchange gifts with them, but I don't know how to say that gently.


Thipu1

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Re: AGH we didn't bring gifts
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2012, 06:36:10 PM »
The best thing to do is to send a nice TY for the unexpected gifts you received. 

That's about all you can do at this point.

heartmug

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Re: AGH we didn't bring gifts
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2012, 06:46:23 PM »
The best thing to do is to send a nice TY for the unexpected gifts you received. 

That's about all you can do at this point.

POD.
One option in a tug of war with someone is just to drop the rope.

Isometric

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Re: AGH we didn't bring gifts
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2012, 06:52:03 PM »
Eek, that's so awkward! I think everyone's been there! I usually keep some generic gift in the car for a single forgotten person, but a whole tribe I wouldn't be able to pull something out of nowhere!

I agree with PP's, a nice thank you card. Maybe speak to your sister about it gently, or if you think they'll be at future Christmases, maybe talk about a $ limit, or Kris Kringle.

QueenofAllThings

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Re: AGH we didn't bring gifts
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2012, 06:52:41 PM »
There is no etiquette rule requiring you to give a gift in return (it just feels that way).

My godson's parents gave my children Christmas presents for a few years. I give to my godson, but not his brother. It felt a little awkward for a while, but they eventually stopped giving to my kids.

Bijou

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Re: AGH we didn't bring gifts
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2012, 01:50:49 AM »
We got together with my sister's family just after Christmas.  My partner and I exchange gifts with my sister and her boyfriend every year.  This gathering had both sister's adult kids and her boyfriend's adult kids in attendance, and would be the big "Christmas gathering" because we couldn't all get together on the actual day.

I thought I understood that, as in other years when we had similar gatherings, we'd all just give presents to those we usually did.   Everyone would have presents to unwrap that way.  We aren't very close to any of the adult children.

Imagine my surprise when my spouse and I got gifts from most of the adult children!  We hadn't brought anything for any of them, since we'd never exchanged in past years.  I managed to not show my dismay, and did enjoy the gifts.

What do we do?  Send them belated gifts?  And what to do next year?  Our budget isn't up to spending another $100 at Christmastime on gifts for people we barely know!  I'm not sure why this happened or why we weren't warned. I'd actually rather not exchange gifts with them, but I don't know how to say that gently.
Can you suggest a name exchange so each only has to buy one gift for this gathering (what they do privately is their own decision).
I've never knitted anything I could recognize when it was finished.  Actually, I've never finished anything, much to my family's relief.