Author Topic: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages  (Read 8557 times)

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MariaE

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2012, 02:26:28 AM »
Sorry Sterling, I think this one is on you. If you'd sent a mass email it would be different, as there it's equally easy to click "Reply" or "Reply all", but as far as I know it's not actually possible to do a "reply" on a bulk facebook message, so they'd have to start a new thread instead. I'd be pretty annoyed if I got called out for not doing that, when you were the one who started the conversation that way  :-\ I know individual messages is a hassle when you need to send to many, but copy-paste is your friend :)
 
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Perfect Circle

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #16 on: January 12, 2012, 05:26:01 AM »
Hindsight is great of course, but you can't really blame anyone for using the only response option they have outside of starting a new thread.

Copy and paste would have worked - I know it's a bit of a pain, but your initial effort leads to a lot less irritation on your recipients' part as they do not get messages from every one on your list.

For future use, I do also like the event idea squakers outlined above.
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kherbert05

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2012, 05:50:14 AM »
On Facebook I'm not sure that there is a way not to "Reply All" without starting a new message thread.  I'm looking at it right now and I can see how to add more people, but no way to take people off.
This - My sister had a similar problem When she upgraded her phone she lost her contacts. She sent out a FB message to all her friends and family asking them to TEXT her their info. That way she could save it to the phone from the TEXT. People didn't pay attention and sent it via FB. It was very annoying to get all those messages and made me want to smack them with a clue by four.

To top it all off - I was able to fix Sis's phone and restore her contacts - but I'm still getting replies to the message she sent out before Christmas.
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The703

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2012, 09:59:47 AM »
On Facebook I'm not sure that there is a way not to "Reply All" without starting a new message thread.  I'm looking at it right now and I can see how to add more people, but no way to take people off.
This - My sister had a similar problem When she upgraded her phone she lost her contacts. She sent out a FB message to all her friends and family asking them to TEXT her their info. That way she could save it to the phone from the TEXT. People didn't pay attention and sent it via FB. It was very annoying to get all those messages and made me want to smack them with a clue by four.

To top it all off - I was able to fix Sis's phone and restore her contacts - but I'm still getting replies to the message she sent out before Christmas.

Like other PP's said you can opt to leave the conversation.



TheaterDiva1

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #19 on: January 16, 2012, 10:16:50 AM »
Last I checked any time a facebook message was sent to multiple people the only option, if you responded directly to the message, was an automatic reply all.  It is one of my pet peeves of facebook.

This.  You can leave the conversation to stop receiving replies.

That won't work for the OP who needs these replies, but good to know if you're one of the recipients.  The OP could send a message asking people to please send a new message instead of reply all, but other than that, I've got nothing.

Allyson

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #20 on: January 16, 2012, 12:28:48 PM »
I'm going to go against the grain here and say it's not the OP's fault for writing everyone at once rather than 70 separate messages. I don't think it's unreasonable to think people would click your name and write a message just to you. True, would have been a good idea to say in the initial message 'please reply to just me, not this thread', but it might not be too late now for 'to stop getting all replies....' followed by the instructions given here. That will let the people aggravated by it step out, and maybe gently let others know that this isn't the best way to reply.

lady_disdain

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2012, 01:04:45 PM »
I know sending the mass email wasn't the best idea but honestly typing the same message 73 times seemed frustrating.

Copy and Paste are my friends - they spare me so much work! (I don't mean this to be snarky at all - just a suggestion to save you the trouble of typing the same message over and over).

MrsJWine

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #22 on: January 16, 2012, 04:54:44 PM »
I'm going to go against the grain here and say it's not the OP's fault for writing everyone at once rather than 70 separate messages. I don't think it's unreasonable to think people would click your name and write a message just to you. True, would have been a good idea to say in the initial message 'please reply to just me, not this thread', but it might not be too late now for 'to stop getting all replies....' followed by the instructions given here. That will let the people aggravated by it step out, and maybe gently let others know that this isn't the best way to reply.

I think that if the OP had known how sneaky Facebook is about this, that she should have made 70 different messages. But I didn't know that Facebook did this by default, either, until the first time I sent a message to a bunch of different people. And the responders may not even realize that they're replying to all, either. It's not really labeled very clearly.


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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #23 on: January 16, 2012, 05:16:14 PM »
I know sending the mass email wasn't the best idea but honestly typing the same message 73 times seemed frustrating.

So you took the easiest option *for you* to ask your guests for info, but you fault them for taking the easiest route to send to you the info you asked for?
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Yvaine

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #24 on: January 16, 2012, 05:21:08 PM »
I know sending the mass email wasn't the best idea but honestly typing the same message 73 times seemed frustrating.

So you took the easiest option *for you* to ask your guests for info, but you fault them for taking the easiest route to send to you the info you asked for?

I think that's overly snarky--the inability to reply to sender only rather than reply to all is a really new FB change, and the OP and others on this thread had no idea it had changed. They thought it still worked like regular email, where it's easy to just reply to one person if you're careful.

And it's a lot more work to type 73 messages than the one message the recipients would be sending. (For future, I agree with the suggestion of copy/paste! C/P is my friend!)

O'Dell

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #25 on: January 16, 2012, 06:09:25 PM »
I know sending the mass email wasn't the best idea but honestly typing the same message 73 times seemed frustrating.

So you took the easiest option *for you* to ask your guests for info, but you fault them for taking the easiest route to send to you the info you asked for?

I think that's overly snarky--the inability to reply to sender only rather than reply to all is a really new FB change, and the OP and others on this thread had no idea it had changed. They thought it still worked like regular email, where it's easy to just reply to one person if you're careful.

And it's a lot more work to type 73 messages than the one message the recipients would be sending. (For future, I agree with the suggestion of copy/paste! C/P is my friend!)

But the OP is initiating contact because *she* wants something. And my intent wasn't to be snarky but to get Sterling to see how her thinking might look like to others when she admits that it "wasn't the best idea" but went ahead and did it anyway. Note that in my first post in this thread that I blame those replying in part. That it would have been frustrating for her to use the better option isn't good reasoning to dump all the blame on those responding.
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Ceallach

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #26 on: January 16, 2012, 06:38:09 PM »
I wouldn't have bothered writing a new message in reply.  I'd probably have replied quickly on my iPhone in the same box the question came through to me in.  It would not have occurred to me to do anything other than that unless the message noted an alternate method of contact (e.g. please email me at x address etc).
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TootsNYC

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #27 on: January 17, 2012, 04:38:36 PM »
Last I checked any time a facebook message was sent to multiple people the only option, if you responded directly to the message, was an automatic reply all.  It is one of my pet peeves of facebook.

Yup.

Unfortunately, and certainly inadvertently, OP you caused this, not your responders.  If you want individual responses you need to send individual messages.  A message to all with result in a respond to all.  One or two more savvy folks might exit the group message and start a new individual one, but its really not fair to expect that of people - heck some people might not even realize there are multiple people on the message! 

Facebook is not email and its important to remember they operate differently.

I actually think it's not so cool to start the conversation about someone's address, and "I want to invite you to my wedding" in a group sense. It feels off to me somehow. I feel this ought to be a slightly more personal conversation.


But I think you get points for doing it on a message and not on your wall!

With regular e-mail, a BCC is ok. Otherwise, I think it's far better form to send one-on-one e-mails.

You can certainly cut and paste.

Sterling

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #28 on: January 17, 2012, 05:09:34 PM »
For many of these people the only contact I have with them is FB so that is the way I attempted to get addresses.  I see now I should have not sent a mass message but I was unaware that they could not reply only to me.  I did provide my email and phone number so they could have contacted me that.

I don't have email addresses for many of these people.
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TootsNYC

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Re: Polite way to remind people not to reply all to FB messages
« Reply #29 on: January 18, 2012, 03:12:38 PM »
It can be hard, in today's technologically connected world, to get real-world addresses. Often there isn't a moment at which it occurs to us to say, "Oh, hey, what's your mailing address?"

And look at it this way--you got to serve as an example to the rest of us!   ;)

But also look at it another way: These people are grownups, and they could use the contact info you provided to contact you more privately.

And, these are people of goodwill who will all (hopefully) meet at your wedding. Accidentally having one another's e-mail & addresses, etc., is not the worst thing that could happen to them.