Author Topic: So Kissing and Telling  (Read 5567 times)

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Frostblooded

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Re: So Kissing and Telling
« Reply #30 on: January 20, 2012, 03:50:41 PM »
Bolding what the submitter has sent:

Quote
I was completely taken aback by this. She said who she made out with in the past isn't really any of my business, but she wanted to tell me so I wasn't in the dark at the wedding. Iím pretty upset. She said I should consider how she feels, having to participate in a wedding along with these guys. That makes sense, but those are the repercussions of her actions. Should I go to the wedding and be uncomfortable watching her walk down the aisle with someone she's kissed before, who is still in love with her? Or should I just skip the whole thing and save myself some emotional trouble?

"Who is still in love with her." The submitter knows more than us, and obviously knows that this person is still carrying a torch.

bah12

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Re: So Kissing and Telling
« Reply #31 on: January 20, 2012, 03:55:31 PM »
Bolding what the submitter has sent:

Quote
I was completely taken aback by this. She said who she made out with in the past isn't really any of my business, but she wanted to tell me so I wasn't in the dark at the wedding. Iím pretty upset. She said I should consider how she feels, having to participate in a wedding along with these guys. That makes sense, but those are the repercussions of her actions. Should I go to the wedding and be uncomfortable watching her walk down the aisle with someone she's kissed before, who is still in love with her? Or should I just skip the whole thing and save myself some emotional trouble?

"Who is still in love with her." The submitter knows more than us, and obviously knows that this person is still carrying a torch.

I see that's what he said (I stated as much above), and I'm telling you that despite that, the nature of the relationship (according to what the LW said...bolded above) is not worthy of either his reaction or her telling him about it to begin with.


TurtleDove

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Re: So Kissing and Telling
« Reply #32 on: January 20, 2012, 04:24:32 PM »
In my opinion, it should not matter to the BF whether 1 or 5 million people are in love with his GF, or whether they sit next to her at work or walk down the aisle with her as wedding attendants.  It should only matter what the GF does or feels - she cannot control anyone else. 

It is not attractive to be jealous for no reason.  I really appreciate the stance of my current boyfriend.  When I got roses from "a secret admirer" I was worried, based on past relationships, that he would be angry with me, even though I did not know who sent them and certainly did not solicit them.  His response?  "That's awesome!  I am not surprised - if I weren't dating you I'd want to send you flowers too!"  This is because his focus is on MY behavior and feelings, not on that of people I cannot control.  Here, it seems the GF is living in a state of fear over things she cannot control, such as her past and the feelings of other people. 

The BF needs to get over it, and I think the GF should reevaluate her relationship.

Tigger

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Re: So Kissing and Telling
« Reply #33 on: January 21, 2012, 06:56:16 AM »
The fact the he's this upset says to me that he assumes one of those men is still in love with her.  Seriously, if my DH got upset by a man I had kissed; lets just say we would never had gotten married.

The letter writer needs to stop this behaviour and go to the wedding head held high.  Not to be mean but he needs to put his big boy pants on.  His girlfriend kissed other men (shocking) but now she's with him.  There's nothing to indicate she has cheated in the past.
There's nothing to indicate one of the men will try something inappropriate with her.  Even if one of them is in love with her for argument sake; I would be doubtful he'd try anything at a wedding with her boyfriend and all their mutual friends.




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