Author Topic: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)  (Read 5236 times)

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afbluebelle

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After the happy fun time that was trying to get together our Squadron Holiday party, I've been trying to think of good fundraisers to start BEFORE the end of October ;D This one is my personal favorite, but I'm pretty sure it would earn me an Article 45 (2 1/2 Article 15s)


Roast the Ranks!

Come together for a night of laughs and lasagna. Benefit dinner for the *** Maintenance Unit to raise money for their Booster Club/Service Project.

Roastmaster: Afbluebelle (of course)
Roasters: Cranky guy who has been in way too long, fresh faced newb who is permanently connected to the interwebs, several enlisted people who have been in longer than Commander Dudeguy, Butterfinger, and the Captain, and any family and friends that can be tracked down.

Honorees will include Commander Dudeguy, Chief Eagle (Bald Eagle  :P ), 2nd Lt Butterfinger, and Captain Crunch. Bring your fire extinguishers and some tissues for the cry babies, because it's Grilling Time!





Anyone else have some ideas that are great in theory, but would crash and burn for real? I have more, but I know I'm not the only one  >:D




My inner (r-word) is having a field day with this one.
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hobish

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2012, 02:36:58 PM »

I have always wanted to open an amusement park sort of thing for the express purpose of driving around drunk on tractors, ATVís, and jacked up beater cars and such. It would have a few mud tracks, some with obstacles like hills, giant puddles, some fake cows, and sneaky shrubbery, and a woods trail where people can chase each other around like drunken yahoos on 4 wheelers. Iím telling you, I have a vision. The bar would serve moonshine, whiskey, tequila, and cheap beer in a can. I think it would be so much fun. The legalities of something like that, insurance, and probability of being sued, however, make me think it is not a dream that will ever come to fruition.

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afbluebelle

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #2 on: January 19, 2012, 02:49:48 PM »

I have always wanted to open an amusement park sort of thing for the express purpose of driving around drunk on tractors, ATVís, and jacked up beater cars and such. It would have a few mud tracks, some with obstacles like hills, giant puddles, some fake cows, and sneaky shrubbery, and a woods trail where people can chase each other around like drunken yahoos on 4 wheelers. Iím telling you, I have a vision. The bar would serve moonshine, whiskey, tequila, and cheap beer in a can. I think it would be so much fun. The legalities of something like that, insurance, and probability of being sued, however, make me think it is not a dream that will ever come to fruition.

I would so go there. So. Go. There. heck, I'd even debate getting out of the military to work as a parking attendant/stunt woman.
My inner (r-word) is having a field day with this one.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #3 on: January 19, 2012, 02:52:47 PM »
I actually submitted this idea to my last work place but they wouldn't go for it due to liability issues.

We all get frustrated with technology.  So my idea was to take some of the old surplus equipment, like the old style monitors, and set up a station where people could come by, pay $5 to the work sponsored charity, and grab a pair of safety goggles and a sledgehammer and go at smashing the computer equipment.

I thought it was a GREAT idea.   :)
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Nora

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2012, 03:26:14 PM »
I want to blend things that should not be put in a blender. I worship the Blendtec Blender videos with the guy in a labcoat blending knives! I SO want to do that!

Things I want to blend/put in a garbage disposal:

-juiceboxes
-knives
-magic 8 ball
-a vase
-whole leg of lamb
-rocks

I could go on for ages.
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

LazyDaisy

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2012, 03:28:01 PM »
I actually submitted this idea to my last work place but they wouldn't go for it due to liability issues.

We all get frustrated with technology.  So my idea was to take some of the old surplus equipment, like the old style monitors, and set up a station where people could come by, pay $5 to the work sponsored charity, and grab a pair of safety goggles and a sledgehammer and go at smashing the computer equipment.

I thought it was a GREAT idea.   :)

Visions of "Office Space" dance in my head. I currently have a large format printer you can use and a $20.

I have often, while sitting in So California freeway traffic, wanted to install an crane with an electromagnet at strategic points along the side of the freeway -- the kind used in scrap metal yards -- to pick up the drunk, really rude, or dangerous drivers to give them of bit of a time out (it safely removes them from traffic without causing more trouble for the other drivers or police). How long they hang there in time out depends on the offense or how long it takes for the police to arrive. For the extraordinarily dangerous, they might get a bit of a shaking.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." ó Douglas Adams

CakeBeret

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2012, 03:31:30 PM »

I have always wanted to open an amusement park sort of thing for the express purpose of driving around drunk on tractors, ATVís, and jacked up beater cars and such. It would have a few mud tracks, some with obstacles like hills, giant puddles, some fake cows, and sneaky shrubbery, and a woods trail where people can chase each other around like drunken yahoos on 4 wheelers. Iím telling you, I have a vision. The bar would serve moonshine, whiskey, tequila, and cheap beer in a can. I think it would be so much fun. The legalities of something like that, insurance, and probability of being sued, however, make me think it is not a dream that will ever come to fruition.



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Black Delphinium

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2012, 03:35:47 PM »
I've always wanted to run a shop where if you didn't like the service, you could just get the bleep out. No " the customer is always right" carp, no bending over backwards for "difficult" customers, just honest, respectful transactions.
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2littlemonkeys

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2012, 05:16:14 PM »
We have several floors that serve my company in our office building.  We also have a non-emergency staircase that serves these floor.

There have been many times where I needed to go from the 52nd floor to the 47th floor and wished we had a fire house pole.

nyarlathotep

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2012, 05:17:08 PM »
Etiquette vigilantes.

We'd track down rude people and give them a taste of their own medicine. Difficult customers would get yelled at in their place of work, gimme pigs would be forced at gunpoint to buy expensive presents for their long-suffering friends, abled people who parked in the disabled space would have their bums glued to a wheelchair, people who listened to music loudly on public transport would have constantly-playing boom boxes bricked into their bedroom wall, and parents who allowed their kids to run riot would have a dozen feral two-year-olds released into their houses armed with playdough, flour, and jam.

It would be the best thing ever.

jayhawk

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2012, 05:58:21 PM »
Etiquette vigilantes.

We'd track down rude people and give them a taste of their own medicine. Difficult customers would get yelled at in their place of work, gimme pigs would be forced at gunpoint to buy expensive presents for their long-suffering friends, abled people who parked in the disabled space would have their bums glued to a wheelchair, people who listened to music loudly on public transport would have constantly-playing boom boxes bricked into their bedroom wall, and parents who allowed their kids to run riot would have a dozen feral two-year-olds released into their houses armed with playdough, flour, and jam.

It would be the best thing ever.

I know we'll be vigilantes, but can we still wear a badge or something?  I know, "we don't need no stinkin' badges," but still.

White Dragon

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #11 on: January 19, 2012, 07:26:34 PM »
Quote
I have often, while sitting in So California freeway traffic, wanted to install an crane with an electromagnet at strategic points along the side of the freeway -- the kind used in scrap metal yards -- to pick up the drunk, really rude, or dangerous drivers to give them of bit of a time out (it safely removes them from traffic without causing more trouble for the other drivers or police). How long they hang there in time out depends on the offense or how long it takes for the police to arrive. For the extraordinarily dangerous, they might get a bit of a shaking.

I recently learned that in the game of rugby, there is no set time for a player to be sent off for bad behaviour. The player stays in the sin bin (really, that's the name!) until the ref is darn good and ready. I think the same rule should apply to your hanging drivers.

FoxPaws

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2012, 07:35:07 PM »
I've always wanted to run a shop where if you didn't like the service, you could just get the bleep out. No " the customer is always right" carp, no bending over backwards for "difficult" customers, just honest, respectful transactions.
Where do I send my resume?  8)
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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2012, 07:44:08 PM »

I know we'll be vigilantes, but can we still wear a badge or something?  I know, "we don't need no stinkin' badges," but still.

No badges - gloves, a hat, and any vintage outfit from the 1930s to the Camelot years with Jackie Kennedy............being properly "uniformed" would replace any need for badges.  As a bonus, we'd be readily identifiable as etiquette examples.  Seamed stockings would not be required - but would be a nice touch..............

Perhaps some nice Pan Am uniforms from the TV show?
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LazyDaisy

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Re: If it weren't for the punishment.... (funny things we wish we could do)
« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2012, 07:50:28 PM »
Quote
I have often, while sitting in So California freeway traffic, wanted to install an crane with an electromagnet at strategic points along the side of the freeway -- the kind used in scrap metal yards -- to pick up the drunk, really rude, or dangerous drivers to give them of bit of a time out (it safely removes them from traffic without causing more trouble for the other drivers or police). How long they hang there in time out depends on the offense or how long it takes for the police to arrive. For the extraordinarily dangerous, they might get a bit of a shaking.

I recently learned that in the game of rugby, there is no set time for a player to be sent off for bad behaviour. The player stays in the sin bin (really, that's the name!) until the ref is darn good and ready. I think the same rule should apply to your hanging drivers.

That might work, however the time out is then arbitrary and open to abuse of power. I'm OK with there being a set time for the most common offenses -- e.g. Texting or doing makeup while driving = 15 minutes hang time (after all, this will give them a chance to finish safely and teach them that it will actually save time to do these things before they get in the car >:D ); changing lanes repeatedly (and usually unsafely) in order to get 2 whole car lengths ahead in barely moving bumper-to-bumper traffic = 30 minutes hang time; drunks -- they can hang there indefinitely.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." ó Douglas Adams