Author Topic: Mother's Day rudeness...  (Read 21477 times)

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Mental Magpie

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #15 on: January 21, 2012, 03:29:36 PM »
I don't know why people are arguing the store's business practices.  Would it be economically smart to be open on Mother's Day?  Yes, but they weren't so that doesn't matter.  There is no problem with the lady double checking; it's how she went about it and how she treated the OP during the process.  (I am by no means condoning what the OP did).  In a small shop, the delivery person is on the same schedule as everyone else: when the designers don't work, neither does the delivery person.  When the shop isn't open, none of its employees are on the clock.  Would it be a good idea to change that for holidays?  Yes, but they didn't. 

The point I'm trying to make is, the arguments about the business practices are irrelevant.  The woman was an SS, she was rude and self-centered.  The OP didn't handle it very well at the end, but he fully admits that.  Just because you (general) don't like the business practices in this instance doesn't mean they are wrong and it gives the lady absolutely no excuse to behave the way she did.
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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #16 on: January 21, 2012, 03:41:07 PM »
I don't know why people are arguing the store's business practices.  Would it be economically smart to be open on Mother's Day?  Yes, but they weren't so that doesn't matter.  There is no problem with the lady double checking; it's how she went about it and how she treated the OP during the process.  (I am by no means condoning what the OP did).  In a small shop, the delivery person is on the same schedule as everyone else: when the designers don't work, neither does the delivery person.  When the shop isn't open, none of its employees are on the clock.  Would it be a good idea to change that for holidays?  Yes, but they didn't. 

The point I'm trying to make is, the arguments about the business practices are irrelevant.  The woman was an SS, she was rude and self-centered.  The OP didn't handle it very well at the end, but he fully admits that.  Just because you (general) don't like the business practices in this instance doesn't mean they are wrong and it gives the lady absolutely no excuse to behave the way she did.

I wasn't supporting the woman being rude (I agree she was), but I think OP was a whole lot ruder, not mention his was retaliatory rudeness.  OP could have asked the woman to not use foul language and leave.  He could have referred her to another florist or option.  But what he did was make an overall store wide policy into a holiday specific policy in order to humiliate and dress down a customer.  Her rudeness was based on her wanting and expecting a reasonable service.  His rudeness was based on making her feel stupid.

And for the record, plenty of small businesses have employees on varying schedules - its hardly a blanket truth to say "in a small shop, the delivery person is on the same schedule as everyone else: when the designers don't work, neither does the delivery person" - that is just flat out not accurate for hundreds of thousands of businesses.  Its not unreasonable for a person to think a service industry job would provide a common service like a florist delivering flowers on Mother's Day.  That assumption on the part of the customer was not at all off base.  She was only rude in how she communicated.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #17 on: January 21, 2012, 04:03:02 PM »
I don't know why people are arguing the store's business practices.  Would it be economically smart to be open on Mother's Day?  Yes, but they weren't so that doesn't matter.  There is no problem with the lady double checking; it's how she went about it and how she treated the OP during the process.  (I am by no means condoning what the OP did).  In a small shop, the delivery person is on the same schedule as everyone else: when the designers don't work, neither does the delivery person.  When the shop isn't open, none of its employees are on the clock.  Would it be a good idea to change that for holidays?  Yes, but they didn't. 

The point I'm trying to make is, the arguments about the business practices are irrelevant.  The woman was an SS, she was rude and self-centered.  The OP didn't handle it very well at the end, but he fully admits that.  Just because you (general) don't like the business practices in this instance doesn't mean they are wrong and it gives the lady absolutely no excuse to behave the way she did.

I wasn't supporting the woman being rude (I agree she was), but I think OP was a whole lot ruder, not mention his was retaliatory rudeness.  OP could have asked the woman to not use foul language and leave.  He could have referred her to another florist or option.  But what he did was make an overall store wide policy into a holiday specific policy in order to humiliate and dress down a customer.  Her rudeness was based on her wanting and expecting a reasonable service.  His rudeness was based on making her feel stupid.

And for the record, plenty of small businesses have employees on varying schedules - its hardly a blanket truth to say "in a small shop, the delivery person is on the same schedule as everyone else: when the designers don't work, neither does the delivery person" - that is just flat out not accurate for hundreds of thousands of businesses.  Its not unreasonable for a person to think a service industry job would provide a common service like a florist delivering flowers on Mother's Day.  That assumption on the part of the customer was not at all off base.  She was only rude in how she communicated.

Re: the first paragraph...I didn't think you were supporting her.  I didn't think anything I said even reflected that.  I was simply talking about the arguments about the business practices.

Re: the second paragraph...you're right, it was a blanket statement I shouldn't have used.  I should have said "IME" before it.  However, that's really no different than you and others having said, "I've never heard of a florist being closed on Mother's Day".  That is also only your experiences.  I also didn't say that the assumption was off base and even said double checking wasn't all that bad; I said how she handled it was rude and SS.
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Blithe

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #18 on: January 22, 2012, 06:06:05 PM »
Based on the OP's statement that none of the other florists in this town were open on Sunday makes me wonder if there is a a local cultural expectation that most/all stores will be closed on Sundays.  There are places in the United States where that is still the norm, and based on my experience with one such place stores that remain open on Sundays can actually end up losing business in the long run because people will chose to patronize the stores that do close on Sundays.  As a small business owner myself, I would say that one of the benefits is being able to chose my own business hours and which jobs/customers I want.  The OP's mother is not rude to make the decision that she doesn't want to open on Sunday and that she would prefer to forgo any work that might require her to work on Sundays that is totally her call.  Even if she was the only game in town, she is completely free to chose to remain closed on one of the busiest days of the year for her profession, and someone else would be free to open up a competing shop and try to lure customers away from her by being open on Sunday, with neither owner being guilty of an etiquette violation.

As far as the OP, outer circle of ehell, with a strong possibility of a commuted sentence.

Asharah

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #19 on: January 22, 2012, 07:26:26 PM »
Actually, if I ordered flowers for some occasion, I would prefer them delivered the day before, since I would want them to be sure they had them for the actual occasion. When I sent niece a flower arrangement with balloons for her daughter's baptism, I wanted to make sure she had them to decorate for the party. What if you order flowers for Mom to be delivered on Mother's Day and she doesn't get them until 10pm that night?
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Re: Mothto er's Day rudeness...
« Reply #20 on: January 23, 2012, 12:11:35 AM »
OP, I don't think you did anything wrong imo.
You politely and repeatedly explained to her the fact that you are closed on sundays, but yet she wouldn't let it drop. With people like her it's impossible to have a rational conversation, so she deserved to be brought down a peg.

Dr_Manners

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #21 on: January 23, 2012, 04:08:32 PM »
I've been hesitant to respond to this for a few days (partially due to the rather emotional reaction my etiquette faux pas has garnered from some people here), but I do feel it needed to address a few things that were brought up by other esteemed posters.

Several of you are questioning my mother's decision to not open on Mother's Day.  While it is perfectly reasonable that you may be surprised to hear of a florist who is not open that day, please remember (as Blithe said) that your local customs are not universal.  One poster stated that he or she lives in NYC and has never heard of a florist closed on Mother's Day.  Neither I, nor my mother, live in NYC.  In the city she lives in, it is more common to see a small business closed on Sunday than it is to see one open.  This is a cultural throwback to the time when our state, by law, forbid businesses from being open on Sundays (with a few exceptions).  Those laws have since been removed, but the culture of closing on Sundays is still HIGHLY prevalent in our area.  Therefore, knowing that, it is more of an oddity to hear of a customer from our town who is upset or surprised by my mother's decision to be closed on Mother's Day (or any Sunday).  A business in our area saying "we are closed on Sundays, even Mother's Day" is about as remarkable as a coffee house advertising "we sell coffee."  It is a highly expected, run-of-the-mill thing in our town, and not really even worthy of note to most people.

A few people have suggested that I should have referred her to a competitor in order to help her find someone who can deliver on Sunday.  But, as I did state previously, "having grown up in the floral business in that city, I do know that none of the florists in town deliver on Mother's Day.  There are about a dozen florists in the city, and all of them know each other and work well together, referring business to each other (based on need, location, and what particular skill each has).  Had there been a florist in town who delivered on Mother's Day, I would have referred her.  But, alas, there isn't."

Second, I have fully admitted, several times, that my actions were out of line.  Perhaps they were brought out due to my emotional feelings toward the designers (my mother, my sister, a young lady I find to be quite delightful and endearing, and two women who were like mothers to me).  Or, perhaps, it was my young age and brashness that caused it.  Either way, I fully believe that, although the customer was a "special snowflake" through and through, I did act inappropriately.  I do not deny that.


Mopsy428

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #22 on: January 23, 2012, 05:11:13 PM »
The lady was way, way out of line. I probably would have asked her to leave the store as soon as she swore. I'm particularly puzzled by this:

Quote
Absolutely not!  Look...you're a man, so you couldn't possibly get this.  Mother's Day is on a Sunday, and I DEMAND that my flowers be delivered then!

You need to be a woman to realize that Mother's Day is on a Sunday? Does she not realize that mothers give birth to boys, too? What a bizarre thing to say.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #23 on: January 23, 2012, 05:17:40 PM »
The lady was way, way out of line. I probably would have asked her to leave the store as soon as she swore. I'm particularly puzzled by this:

Quote
Absolutely not!  Look...you're a man, so you couldn't possibly get this.  Mother's Day is on a Sunday, and I DEMAND that my flowers be delivered then!

You need to be a woman to realize that Mother's Day is on a Sunday? Does she not realize that mothers give birth to boys, too? What a bizarre thing to say.

She meant he couldn't understand how important Mother's Day was because he couldn't be a mother.
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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #24 on: January 23, 2012, 05:22:58 PM »
I've been hesitant to respond to this for a few days (partially due to the rather emotional reaction my etiquette faux pas has garnered from some people here), but I do feel it needed to address a few things that were brought up by other esteemed posters.

Several of you are questioning my mother's decision to not open on Mother's Day.  While it is perfectly reasonable that you may be surprised to hear of a florist who is not open that day, please remember (as Blithe said) that your local customs are not universal.  One poster stated that he or she lives in NYC and has never heard of a florist closed on Mother's Day.  Neither I, nor my mother, live in NYC.  In the city she lives in, it is more common to see a small business closed on Sunday than it is to see one open.  This is a cultural throwback to the time when our state, by law, forbid businesses from being open on Sundays (with a few exceptions).  Those laws have since been removed, but the culture of closing on Sundays is still HIGHLY prevalent in our area.  Therefore, knowing that, it is more of an oddity to hear of a customer from our town who is upset or surprised by my mother's decision to be closed on Mother's Day (or any Sunday).  A business in our area saying "we are closed on Sundays, even Mother's Day" is about as remarkable as a coffee house advertising "we sell coffee."  It is a highly expected, run-of-the-mill thing in our town, and not really even worthy of note to most people.

A few people have suggested that I should have referred her to a competitor in order to help her find someone who can deliver on Sunday.  But, as I did state previously, "having grown up in the floral business in that city, I do know that none of the florists in town deliver on Mother's Day.  There are about a dozen florists in the city, and all of them know each other and work well together, referring business to each other (based on need, location, and what particular skill each has).  Had there been a florist in town who delivered on Mother's Day, I would have referred her.  But, alas, there isn't."

Second, I have fully admitted, several times, that my actions were out of line.  Perhaps they were brought out due to my emotional feelings toward the designers (my mother, my sister, a young lady I find to be quite delightful and endearing, and two women who were like mothers to me).  Or, perhaps, it was my young age and brashness that caused it.  Either way, I fully believe that, although the customer was a "special snowflake" through and through, I did act inappropriately.  I do not deny that.

Well, given all of this, I'm a little confused as to what your question/intention is. Are you looking for validation of your actions? Did you just want to share a story about someone you consider an SS?
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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #25 on: January 23, 2012, 05:26:45 PM »
Maybe it's because I am in NYC but I've never heard of florists being closed on Sundays, especially on Mothers Day.  That's one of the biggest days of the year for them.  I can think of 4 florists by me that are selling plants and cemetery arrangements by the truckload alone with cars double parked for hours in front of the shops.  I do understand and respect any business owner who wants to close for a holiday and enjoy it with their family, but as someone else pointed out, restaurants do booming business on MD and rarely close.  This story seems very odd to me.

I have never been able to get flowers delivered on a Sunday in my area. While many restaurants are open on Sundays around here, there are many others that aren't, even for holidays. I'm in a much, much smaller city that NYC, so it probably does have a lot to do with that.

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Mental Magpie

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #26 on: January 23, 2012, 05:49:57 PM »
I've been hesitant to respond to this for a few days (partially due to the rather emotional reaction my etiquette faux pas has garnered from some people here), but I do feel it needed to address a few things that were brought up by other esteemed posters.

Several of you are questioning my mother's decision to not open on Mother's Day.  While it is perfectly reasonable that you may be surprised to hear of a florist who is not open that day, please remember (as Blithe said) that your local customs are not universal.  One poster stated that he or she lives in NYC and has never heard of a florist closed on Mother's Day.  Neither I, nor my mother, live in NYC.  In the city she lives in, it is more common to see a small business closed on Sunday than it is to see one open.  This is a cultural throwback to the time when our state, by law, forbid businesses from being open on Sundays (with a few exceptions).  Those laws have since been removed, but the culture of closing on Sundays is still HIGHLY prevalent in our area.  Therefore, knowing that, it is more of an oddity to hear of a customer from our town who is upset or surprised by my mother's decision to be closed on Mother's Day (or any Sunday).  A business in our area saying "we are closed on Sundays, even Mother's Day" is about as remarkable as a coffee house advertising "we sell coffee."  It is a highly expected, run-of-the-mill thing in our town, and not really even worthy of note to most people.

A few people have suggested that I should have referred her to a competitor in order to help her find someone who can deliver on Sunday.  But, as I did state previously, "having grown up in the floral business in that city, I do know that none of the florists in town deliver on Mother's Day.  There are about a dozen florists in the city, and all of them know each other and work well together, referring business to each other (based on need, location, and what particular skill each has).  Had there been a florist in town who delivered on Mother's Day, I would have referred her.  But, alas, there isn't."

Second, I have fully admitted, several times, that my actions were out of line.  Perhaps they were brought out due to my emotional feelings toward the designers (my mother, my sister, a young lady I find to be quite delightful and endearing, and two women who were like mothers to me).  Or, perhaps, it was my young age and brashness that caused it.  Either way, I fully believe that, although the customer was a "special snowflake" through and through, I did act inappropriately.  I do not deny that.

Well, given all of this, I'm a little confused as to what your question/intention is. Are you looking for validation of your actions? Did you just want to share a story about someone you consider an SS?

I don't know how he meant it, but I took it as story sharing.
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Dr_Manners

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #27 on: January 23, 2012, 06:31:18 PM »

I don't know how he meant it, but I took it as story sharing.
That is how I meant it.  I know that I don't come across smelling like a rose in the story, but it is still a story of someone who felt that (in my estimation) she deserved special treatment. 

Well, given all of this, I'm a little confused as to what your question/intention is. Are you looking for validation of your actions? Did you just want to share a story about someone you consider an SS?
I don't expect, nor do I desire, validation for my actions.  If that were the case, I would not have posted several times that I know I overreacted.

Mopsy428

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #28 on: January 28, 2012, 09:01:22 AM »
The lady was way, way out of line. I probably would have asked her to leave the store as soon as she swore. I'm particularly puzzled by this:

Quote
Absolutely not!  Look...you're a man, so you couldn't possibly get this.  Mother's Day is on a Sunday, and I DEMAND that my flowers be delivered then!

You need to be a woman to realize that Mother's Day is on a Sunday? Does she not realize that mothers give birth to boys, too? What a bizarre thing to say.

She meant he couldn't understand how important Mother's Day was because he couldn't be a mother.
That's still really silly, IMO.

Hollanda

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Re: Mother's Day rudeness...
« Reply #29 on: January 28, 2012, 02:53:37 PM »

I don't know how he meant it, but I took it as story sharing.
That is how I meant it.  I know that I don't come across smelling like a rose in the story, but it is still a story of someone who felt that (in my estimation) she deserved special treatment. 

Well, given all of this, I'm a little confused as to what your question/intention is. Are you looking for validation of your actions? Did you just want to share a story about someone you consider an SS?
I don't expect, nor do I desire, validation for my actions.  If that were the case, I would not have posted several times that I know I overreacted.

I feel there is a measure of dogpiling going on here. Dr Manners has admitted countless times that he responded inappropriately. This story possibly happened well before he began reading e-Hell, quite possibly in order to learn how to deal with just this sort of situation with dignity, credibility and tact.  He clearly doesn't want anything from it, just thought he would share the story, maybe as a conversation starter!

I thought it was amusing to read, even though I'd never have the nerve to say anything like that to someone who was rude to me!! It made me smile.
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