One of my best friends is nearly permanently single.
She was married briefly a few years ago after a whirlwind courtship with a guy every single person she knew said would 1) cheat on her and 2) steal her money. I personally knew this--and told her so--after the guy pinned (!) me against a wall and slobbered all over my face (excuse me: "kissed" me) and, an hour or so later, dug through my handbag allegedly looking for gum. She didn't believe me, stopped returning my calls, and married him anyway. Three months later, we were friends again and she was getting a divorce.
This is the only relationship I've known her to have in the nearly ten years we've been friends. With V-Day coming up, she will inevitably call me up at least half a dozen times to ask why she can't find a good guy. Historically, I've gone with what I believe is the standard feminine response: commiseration.
But I know -exactly- why she can't find a guy. She's got unbelievably high standards, for one thing. Imagine a George Clooney look-alike who works for Doctors without Borders, cooks gourmet meals, and stands under her bedroom window playing acoustic covers of 80s power ballads in the rain. A cute-ish guy who isn't a professional puppy killer and who makes an unusually tasty cheeseburger is unworthy of her consideration. And she's chock-full of weirdo dating behaviors: saying "I Love You" twenty minutes in, for instance. She once went with a guy to his work Christmas party, kind of dressy cocktail thing, in what I know was a wedding dress. She tells half-hour anecdotes about her dog.
She's an awesome girl, fun and funny and a loyal friend. But there's no way she knows that she's the reason pretty much no sane person will go out with her more than once.
Is there any way I can politely, lovingly, gently, and kindly let her know what's what? Or shall I go on commiserating until we're both dead?