I think both the submitter and Miss Jeanne were rude in this case. (And yes, I realize that accusing EHellDame of rudeness is quite an accusation.)
It's pretty amazing to me how you purport to be such an etiquette maven, yet you are so unbelievably rude to so many people who write to you.
Someone throws their own birthday party. BIG DEAL. You think this is an etiquette problem? How about spread a little less uptight hatred and a little more love?
I'd suggest catching up with the times. It will never be okay to register for people to pay for your wedding. But organizing your own birthday party? Get over it. Pick your battles, Etiquette Queen.
My husband has a useful phrase, "If you throw a rock into a pack of dogs, the one that yelps is the one that got hit."
Awww, did someone get bonked on the head when I lobbed my rock into the pack of people having birthdays? You probably had a rip-snorting birthday party you hosted in your own honor and since everyone knows birthdays are gift-giving occasions, you probably got gifts, too! Pretty darn cool! After years of annual practice directing people how best to honor you on your special birthdays, you're all primed and ready for your wedding day, the bestest day EVER for being the center of attention.
<We'll just kinda whisper here that persons who host their own birthday parties are a desperate and pitiable sort of people. Imagine the pathetic situation of having friends and family that couldn't be bothered to honor their loved ones with a party every once in a while so the birthday "boy/girl" has to organize it themselves. Or maybe it's that they have but the honoree is a greedy sucker who wants a party every. single. year. >
While the submitter phrased his submission very rudely and certainly deserves to be cast into E-Hell for that, he also has a valid point: simply organizing one's own birthday party is not inherently rude in many areas. If one goes about this tackily, then yes, it is rude, but if you host it fully, make clear that gifts aren't expected/required, and don't go crazy with the guest list, it can be nice.
And that last paragraph of Miss Jeanne's is overgeneralizing and rude. I can't think of anyone in this area, adult or otherwise, who would ever think to organize someone else's birthday, barring the occasional child's surprise party. It just isn't done- if you don't organize it yourself, it's assumed you don't want one. I think birthday parties are more of a gray area and depend much more on local tradition.