Open Bars and Tip Jars

[Surianne]

Hi Hobish,

If the tips don't get seen by staff, then what happens to it? Really curious.

Onlyme

At one place i worked the owner just kept them, at another they said that is what made up our hourly wage. I don't know about the legalities of that, but i was young and not in a position to fight it.

I'm anti-tip jars at open bars* but that?  Is just awful 

* For me it's because it's awkward as a guest.  When I see one and see others using it, I feel like I'm obligated to tip, but I wouldn't have small change with me.  And if I'm not paying for my drinks, how am I supposed to get change?  So I wind up feeling cheap and wondering if I'm getting poor service due to not tipping.  Makes me very uncomfortable. 

[JenJay]

I never put money into tip jars because I think it's rude for one to be set out. That said, I could see tipping at an open bar because I'd be thinking "These drinks are great and aren't costing me a cent. The least I can do is give the bartender a couple of bucks." I'm not saying I'd feel obligated to tip, but if the service was quick and the bartender friendly, sure. It would never occur to me that I might insult the host. I'd be thinking of it as a thank-you from me to the bartender, it wouldn't have anything to do with my opinion of the host or the party.

[Sharnita]

I think that if the host is paying the gratuity in the contract and the boss is stealing the money by not passing it on, that is a problem between labor and management.  I don't think guests or the hosts are obligated to double tip and the host has every right to insist that tip jars be put away so that guests don't feel compelled to cover an obligation the host has already taken care of.

[Shoo]

I think that if the host is paying the gratuity in the contract and the boss is stealing the money by not passing it on, that is a problem between labor and management.  I don't think guests or the hosts are obligated to double tip and the host has every right to insist that tip jars be put away so that guests don't feel compelled to cover an obligation the host has already taken care of.

I could not agree more.

[Hmmmmm]

I think that if the host is paying the gratuity in the contract and the boss is stealing the money by not passing it on, that is a problem between labor and management.  I don't think guests or the hosts are obligated to double tip and the host has every right to insist that tip jars be put away so that guests don't feel compelled to cover an obligation the host has already taken care of.

I could not agree more.

POD

[jpcher]

I agree that tip jars at a prepaid for event is rude to both the hosts and guests. A tip jar looks like a tip is expected. If I were hosting an event I would demand that the tip jar be taken off of the counter.

On the other hand, if a guest wants to tip the bartender . . . say, for example, remember me the next time I come for a drink? That's between the guest and the bartender. Perfectly acceptable in my book.

[Deetee]

I agree that tip jars at a prepaid for event is rude to both the hosts and guests. A tip jar looks like a tip is expected. If I were hosting an event I would demand that the tip jar be taken off of the counter.

On the other hand, if a guest wants to tip the bartender . . . say, for example, remember me the next time I come for a drink? That's between the guest and the bartender. Perfectly acceptable in my book.

This entirely.

[Kaypeep]

I agree that tip jars at a prepaid for event is rude to both the hosts and guests. A tip jar looks like a tip is expected. If I were hosting an event I would demand that the tip jar be taken off of the counter.

On the other hand, if a guest wants to tip the bartender . . . say, for example, remember me the next time I come for a drink? That's between the guest and the bartender. Perfectly acceptable in my book.

This entirely.

This is what I see most often when there's no tip jar.  Guests at a wedding will tip the bartender or the waiters at our table just to ensure they get 'extra special treatment.'  I don't believe they are trying to presume anything or insult the host, they are just CYA or showoffs.  I dated a guy like this.  When we went to see live bands he would always insist on buying a round for the band, even though I pointed out to him that bands drink for free when they play a bar.  But he did it anyway because usually the band would come thank him for it, and I think it boosted his ego.

[Sharnita]

I don't know, isn't trying to get better treatment/service than the other guests at the same event kind of rude?  It seems off to me.

[Shoo]

I don't know, isn't trying to get better treatment/service than the other guests at the same event kind of rude?  It seems off to me.

I don't know if it's rude, but it irritates me that a server would give better service to someone who greased his palms.  I tend to think that EVERYONE should get good service, not just those who slip him a little extra cash.  If I were hosting an event and I learned the people I hired were giving preferential treatment to people who gave them money, I'd be furious.

[Surianne]

I don't know, isn't trying to get better treatment/service than the other guests at the same event kind of rude?  It seems off to me.

I don't know if it's rude, but it irritates me that a server would give better service to someone who greased his palms.  I tend to think that EVERYONE should get good service, not just those who slip him a little extra cash.  If I were hosting an event and I learned the people I hired were giving preferential treatment to people who gave them money, I'd be furious.

I agree completely.   The concept of only giving "basic" service to people who don't pay extra really bothers me. 

[cheyne]

In answer to the OP's question, I think that tip jars at fully hosted events are tacky.  I am a very generous tipper, having worked in the industry in my younger years.  That being said, in a hosted bar situation the host is to tip the staff, not the guests.  If I were hosting-the tips jars would be removed immediately.

I don't know if it's rude, but it irritates me that a server would give better service to someone who greased his palms.  I tend to think that EVERYONE should get good service, not just those who slip him a little extra cash.

The concept of only giving "basic" service to people who don't pay extra really bothers me.

I am curious about the terms "good" and "basic" service.  If a bartender is mixing drinks, taking people in the order they came up to the bar, and being professionally polite, is that "good" or "basic" service?  Same with a waitress.  If she going from table to table getting drink orders and bringing them back while being professionally polite is that "good" or "basic" service?

What "extras" do you think people are getting by "greasing" the palms of the wait staff?  I am honestly curious here.

*All yous general*

[Surianne]

I don't know if it's rude, but it irritates me that a server would give better service to someone who greased his palms.  I tend to think that EVERYONE should get good service, not just those who slip him a little extra cash.

The concept of only giving "basic" service to people who don't pay extra really bothers me.

I am curious about the terms "good" and "basic" service.  If a bartender is mixing drinks, taking people in the order they came up to the bar, and being professionally polite, is that "good" or "basic" service?  Same with a waitress.  If she going from table to table getting drink orders and bringing them back while being professionally polite is that "good" or "basic" service?

What "extras" do you think people are getting by "greasing" the palms of the wait staff?  I am honestly curious here.

*All yous general*

I was just using "basic" as a general word.  I didn't mean anything specific by it -- to be honest, I didn't put that level of thought into my post and was speaking more generally. 

I just meant I have a problem with the concept that some people should receive better service because they tip the waiters/bartenders.  (For another example: in a thread about Christmas tipping of mail carriers, I've seen a poster married to a mail carrier explain the extra service he gives to people who tip him.  I have a serious problem with the idea that people who are wealthier deserve good service, and the rest of us don't matter.)

My feeling is everyone should receive the same amount of quick, friendly service -- whatever the waiters/bartenders were hired for.

[Kaypeep]

I've seen the tippers at weddings I've gone to.  What does it get them?  Well, if the waiter is assigned 2 tables at 12 people each(Which is usually the case), it usually ensures that tipper gets served first.  That water/drinks are replenished without having to ask for it.  Simply put, more attentive service.  For bartenders, it helps ensure you get prompt service when you go up to the bar.

I'm not saying it's rude or not, I'm just explaining what I've seen it gets you.  Most of the weddings I go to are huge affairs in the NYC area, 150+ guests.  When the table doesn't give that extra incentive, I can attest that it's harder to find the waiters, whereas when I've seen a tipper at my table, the service is much better.

[Sharnita]

In answer to the OP's question, I think that tip jars at fully hosted events are tacky.  I am a very generous tipper, having worked in the industry in my younger years.  That being said, in a hosted bar situation the host is to tip the staff, not the guests.  If I were hosting-the tips jars would be removed immediately.

I don't know if it's rude, but it irritates me that a server would give better service to someone who greased his palms.  I tend to think that EVERYONE should get good service, not just those who slip him a little extra cash.

The concept of only giving "basic" service to people who don't pay extra really bothers me.

I am curious about the terms "good" and "basic" service.  If a bartender is mixing drinks, taking people in the order they came up to the bar, and being professionally polite, is that "good" or "basic" service?  Same with a waitress.  If she going from table to table getting drink orders and bringing them back while being professionally polite is that "good" or "basic" service?

What "extras" do you think people are getting by "greasing" the palms of the wait staff?  I am honestly curious here.

*All yous general*

I don't know - I am responding to the idea that it is OK to tip the waiter for a little extra/better.