Author Topic: Momzilla of the Groom  (Read 8609 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Asharah

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3916
Momzilla of the Groom
« on: January 31, 2012, 12:05:37 AM »
Here's a story that's a bit long and I'm not sure what category it fits into. J and M's wedding was a semi-formal civil ceremony held in a fancy restaurant. It was scheduled for 9PM with the reception immediately following. The ceremony went well and was quite lovely. Not so much the reception. While there was nothing really wrong with it, I had a terrible time due in large part to the MOG. Let me explain a few things.

I have several allergies, two of which are relevant here: sea food and fish. If I eat sea food Asharah's comment: I think she means shellfish. my whole body swells and I stop breathing. With fish the reaction is less severe, mostly some swelling and a rash, but it's still very unpleasant. So guess what was on the menu? Right. An all sea food and fish dinner: deviled oysters, cream of salmon soup and grilled shrimp on a bed of rice. Now, in my country it's not customary to offer a choice of entrees along with the invitation or RSVP cards, Asharah's comment: Apparently that particular tradition does have a useful function. nor is it customary to disclose the menu in advance. Had I known what was being served, I would have eaten supper before the wedding. But I had no way of knowing. Asharah's comment: Given OP's severe allergies, I would think it was within proper etiquette to ask in advance.

The prospect of bread and wine and dessert not being appetizing, I thought I'd inform J and M I'd step out for a quick bite and then return for the rest of the reception. J informed me he was aware of my allergies and had ordered a different entree for me. Well, that was very thoughtful of him and I stayed. The entree turned out to be fried trout, which I couldn't eat either. Apparently J thought I was allergic only to seafood (and that's why he had not ordered a different soup, either). I was annoyed, but not offended, as I didn't expect J to keep a record of my health problems. But I was also hungry and told them, again, I'd have to step out and be back as soon s possible. J and M were ok with this and apologized profusely for getting the wrong entree. I know declining the food provided by the hosts and going elsewhere to eat is bad etiquette, but I felt justified in this case.

As I was grabbing my purse, the MOG tells me I'm an ungrateful wretch with no manners and that I should eat what's put in front of me and like it. Asharah's comment: Wonder if she always made the groom clean his plate. I began to explain about my allergies but she didn't want to listen. She went on to tell me she had never liked me and how glad she was her son found someone better than me to marry. This floored me because while J and I were close friends, neither he nor I had ever shown any romantic interest in each other. Asharah's comment: I think Momzilla has some issues with OP that have nothing to do with food.. I told her how sorry I was about the food, but I couldn't possibly eat it. Allergies are serious things. She still didn't want to listen to that and very loudly ordered me out. I did leave because I didn't want to add to the scene the MOG had already caused. Well, J came running out after me, apologized profusely about his mother's behavior and begged me not to go. A few of our other friends also came out. Two of them offered to accompany me to a fast food place so I wouldn’t eat alone (they confided later they don't like sea food).

About a half hour later we returned to the reception (we missed dessert and the cutting of the cake). The MOG ignored me for most of the night until the parents of the bride came over to say what a pity it was I couldn't eat at the reception. I explained about my allergies to which the FOB said I was right (he is a surgeon and understands these things). The MOG, sitting nearby, loudly yelled that "a little rash never killed anybody." Asharah's comment: I would assume, maybe inaccurately, that bride's parents are the ones actually hosting the reception. If they can be gracious about the whole thing, Momzilla needs to zip it. Not to mention claiming she's knows more about food allergies than a doctor. The FOB tried explaining to her just how life and death serious allergies can be, but she didn't listen to him either. Since then I've made it a practice to make discreet inquiries regarding the menu at weddings and other social functions. Asharah's comment: At least she learned something from the experience.    Guest0211-03
I think you handled an awkward situation very well.
Asharah's comment: I feel sorry for the groom, who had to apologize for his clod of a mother to his friend during his wedding reception.
Asharah

JacklynHyde

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 489
Re: Momzilla of the Groom
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2012, 08:48:13 PM »
Yikes!  My wedding had attendees with just about every allergy and food need imaginable.  I cannot imagine calling out anyone as an SS, let alone harangue them for their dietary needs or wants.  Yes, it was a little annoying to make sure the vegetarian option was also a vegan one, but I would have never insisted my new stepsister-in-law eat her pasta with cream sauce!

amylouky

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1560
Re: Momzilla of the Groom
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2012, 10:49:11 AM »
Wow, MOG sounds like she is truly toxic. How nasty, and what a way to put a damper on your son's wedding.

I'm a little surprised that, since the reception was at a restaurant, they couldn't have prepared another non-fish option for the poster. Was the restaurant itself open at the reception time? I think that requesting that would have been a better option than having to leave the reception and miss a large part of it. I'm also not sure why the poster needed to inform them that they were leaving (twice), unless it was a very small reception so their absence would have really been noticed?

Mental Magpie

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5259
  • ...for the dark side looks back.
Re: Momzilla of the Groom
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2012, 12:03:45 AM »
Wow, MOG sounds like she is truly toxic. How nasty, and what a way to put a damper on your son's wedding.

I'm a little surprised that, since the reception was at a restaurant, they couldn't have prepared another non-fish option for the poster. Was the restaurant itself open at the reception time? I think that requesting that would have been a better option than having to leave the reception and miss a large part of it. I'm also not sure why the poster needed to inform them that they were leaving (twice), unless it was a very small reception so their absence would have really been noticed?

That's what I'm thinking.  I'd also want the groom and bride to know that I wasn't ditching their reception, that I indeed would be back, and sorry for stepping out.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

illusionmajik

  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 13
Re: Momzilla of the Groom
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2012, 09:56:14 AM »
Holy Stiletto Heels of Hera! WHAT A NUTBALL!

I'm in the same boat as the OP.  Curse of Neptune.  Anything from the ocean can and will most likely kill me.  Heck I can't even be in a room where seafood/shellfish/eatable ocean creatures have been cooked since I'll turn into a humanoid connect the dots display and then stop breathing. 

I realize that the world can't sanitize itself for me and I don't expect it to be.  I do take precautions. (Inhaler, hydro-cortisone creme, Epi-pen, massive doses of allergy meds, emergency paper taped to the EPIPEN for instructions).  And I will leave places that are seafood heavy. 

And remember folks, health does supersede politeness.  So when my mom blocked me from leaving my sisters wedding reception room which was serving lobster, I just barreled her over like a football player.  She thought it was the height of rudeness to leave during dinner.  (and no one warned me about the dinner being seafood)  I lucked out in that I only got a moderate case of hives.  I got to listen to an earful that the allergy was all in my mind and I was a bad guest.  But when I was able to re-enter the room, with my mom still ranting about how it's all in my head, the prominent red bumps all over my exposed skin vindicated my lack of etiquette.

I wonder if forcing someone to continue to be exposed to something life threatening would be considered assault

WhiteTigerCub

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2423
Re: Momzilla of the Groom
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2012, 04:38:49 PM »
I do  think the OP could have been a little more tactful in the situation. While I am not allergic to seafood, I would not have eaten anything on the menu provided for the reception. Seafood consitency literally makes me gag when I try to eat it.

OP basically made her host feel bad by telling them she could not eat the entree offered and that she was stepping out to get something else to eat especially since some of the other guests overheard and offered to go with her to get fast food!

I think it would have been a lot more gracious of the OP to "step out to the use the restroom for a moment' if she absolutely had to go get something else to eat at that moment. Otherwise, she might have been able to order extra bread, been looking oooo so forward to dessert and then gone to get something to eat after the event was over.

As for momzilla, yeah she was quite toxic in her reactions to finding out OP could not eat the food served to her.

Arizona

Twik

  • A Pillar of the Forum
  • *****
  • Posts: 28436
Re: Momzilla of the Groom
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2012, 05:23:16 PM »
Well, there are times when if the truth makes people feel a *little* bad, I don't think it's so awful. Perhaps next time the hosts will understand what people mean when they say "seafood will kill me." If it had been me, my options would have be (1) leave and get something to eat, or (2) leave before I turned into a raging grizzly with a migraine. Trying to party with nothing but bread to eat would not be physically possible for me.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."